Another Phat Daily Column is upon us, as we'll review RAW is WAR as I've done for over 2 years now on LordsofPain.net, the best pro wrestling site on the internet. This is the one review that many get sooooo fired up about, since many can't take opinions nor do they understand sarcasm.
But first, a legend of wrestling has passed away. Terry "Bam Bam" Gordy left the world at age 40 yesterday. I grew up watching the real Bam Bam wrestle, as I first viewed him on ESPN's World Class wrestling shows. Back then, he was in a tough feud with the Von Erich family, and I can just remember one battle he had with Kerry Von Erich on one particular show.
As a part of the Freebirds, Gordy was one of those who you just loved to hate. All of the Freebirds were so cocky and dirty in the wrestling ring, which always made you want for a face team to let them have it!
I can remember the day I heard about Gordy forming a dream team of sorts with Dr. Death Steve Williams in a wrestling magazine, and as a young mark, I was thinking that this team couldn't be stopped! They couldn't, for they steamrolled WCW competition in the summer of 1992. Gordy and Williams, I suppose, were travelling back and forth from America to Japan, where they were also a tough duo.
Next thing I remember was when I read about Gordy coming to the WWF, but in a mask. The Executioner came in and attacked the Undertaker after the 'Taker about beat Mankind one night. Although a terrible gimmick for Gordy, he did make the best of it and seemed to handle it in a professional manner. From there, Gordy made a few trips back and forth from the WWF to ECW, and after that, American fans didn't see Bam Bam hardly ever again from touring foreign lands and occasional independents.
Terry Gordy, to me, will be missed very much, as a childhood hero just faded away.
On to the PDC.
Our first segment is Spike Dudley coming down, and wasting about 5 minutes of our time so that Molly Holly could tell him that she wants to shag him. Paul Heyman then came down to ask Spike if he wants to join Team Extreme. Spike says no thanks, taking the smart move over chosing a woman over a company that went bankrupt, and then the evil Dudley Boys came down and powerbombed poor Molly off of the top rope and into a table. Wow, have we seen that stunt performed before? At least it had some drama to it, for Spike was wrapped up in the ropes to see it all. Blah to domestic violence like that.
Oh wow, what a Thunder match Faarooq vs. Chuck Palumbo was. I like both wrestlers and all, but damn, their styles totally contrasted during this match. Faarooq is a brawler, while Palumbo is more of a wrestler who relies on the ropes, whether it is irish whips or coming off the top. On a side note, I don't really know how good of a match the Acolytes and Palumbo/O'Haire will put on at Invasion. Palumbo/O'Haire versus the Hardys or Edge/Christian would make a lot more sense or would provide a more energetic match, but we'll see. Anybody for Sean O'Haire vs. Bradshaw on Smackdown? Nice Jungle kick by Palumbo at the end. That's his best yet!
Oh cool, Edge/Christian versus
Team Canada Lance Storm/Mike Awesome is booked. That works for me. Last night, it was Edge vs. Mike Awesome, in a match that wasn't too bad, although Edge continues to be humiliated on a win/loss record ever since he won the King of the Ring. Could the WWF be making a Billy Gunn out of him yet? Well, at least it will be the WWF doing that, and not Edge, because he can perform, unlike Gunn. Anybody for Christian vs. Lance Storm on Smackdown?
Great stuff by Kurt Angle and Chris Jericho backstage. Angle's segment with Raven was just hilarious, especially with the ECW Rules comments. But Jericho was the king of words, for he ripped Stephanie so bad! Every Customer Welcome is the real meaning of ECW... at least for Stephanie! Nobody gets on Stephanie, with words, better than Jericho, period. NOBODY! The Rock is decent at it, although he gets repetitive on cutdowns towards her.
Our next match was Tazz versus William Regal, which I had high hopes for when I read the RAW preview. The match was very short and never given time to develop, and then we got a teaser of Tajiri joining Team Extreme, only to swerve by giving a nasty kick to Tazz. Yup, Tazz can take his punishment, therefore making for a good match at Invasion. I was actually hoping for Tajiri to spray the mist into Tazz's face, but the kick was nice.
Next, it was Chris Jericho versus Booker T for the WCW World Title. Pretty solid match, as Booker T can shine when his opponent isn't Buff Bagwell. Dirty Nick Patrick kept screwing Jericho here, but note that Patrick and Jericho actually feuded in WCW during the NWO years. Remember the one hand tied behind Jericho's back match? So I laughed harder because I enjoyed their feud back then for shits and giggles. I don't like how Booker T is starting to look like a weak champion, though. At least give him some credibility, please.
Perry Saturn could definitely benefit from joining the ECW angle, but for now, he's ripping off the Stanley Spadowski character from the wonderful movie, UHF, when he's in love with the mop. I'll piss myself if Saturn drives out in a little firetruck, puts a kid on a stool, and blasts him with a firehouse. Or better yet, maybe Saturn could open up a box of cereal for the prize at the very bottom, and start playing with the toy like a maniac. Now if the WWF gives the "orange" comment to Saturn, I'll be pissed off. In UHF, Stanley is all tied up as a hostage, and he says "I'm thinking of something orange.... Any guesses? It's an orange!", or something to that effect.
Speaking of stolen lines, did anybody see that Burger King commercial about the Free Fries? The commercial led to a phrase like "there are a few things in life you just don't do, and one of them is stealing a man's free fries", or something like that. I'm bad on remembering quotes directly, sorry. But that line is terribly ripped off from the classic movie "Men at Work", where Emilio Estevez tries to rip off a fry from his supervisor. That movie is freakin' hilarious!
Oh wait, where was I? Oh yeah, Perry Saturn. You know what the real shame is about the ECW thing? It's John Kronus and the fact that he doesn't have the drive for the sport anymore. That's too bad, for Saturn is really drying up as a singles wrestler.
Our next match was Kurt Angle versus Raven. Holy Cow, Kurt Angle just destroyed him! Angle pounded him better than any other hardcore wrestler would even dream of. Kurt Angle is now the superior WWF wrestler that everyone wishes they could be.
Has anybody ever seen the teams of the Dudley Boyz and the Hardy Boys wrestle in their lifetime? Oh wait, now it's an interpromotional match. My bad. It was decent as usual, and it had a good screwjob ending of Rob Van Dam running down to help the Duds win the match. After the match, RVD hit a sweet 5-Star splash on Jeff, which would later set up a match for Invasion between RVD and Jeff. Oh wow, another incentive to buy the Pay Per View (or at least watch it somewhere). Let's hope RVD proves to be the Whole Fucking Show and not just another ECW bust like his former rival, Jerry Lynn. Note that RVD did, in fact, beat Jeff Hardy before on WWF television during the first ECW Invasion angle, which was a complete failure and a joke.
I really enjoyed seeing Classy Freddy Blassie giving a pep talk to the WWF wrestlers. Great appearance, which would be ruined later on by a complete idiot.
Next, it's Terri versus Trish Stratus, the battle of the Silicone! Combined weight: 100 pounds of implants. The match wasn't that bad, for neither are official wrestlers to start with. After the match, the evil WCW duo of Stacy and Torrie ran down and attacked Trish! Lita would run down to make the save, and give the Twist of Fate to Stacy. What a sell by Stacy!!! Wow, she sold that move like a champ, and that should put an end to the many rumors against her work ethic.
The main event was Rhyno/DDP versus Kane/Undertaker, as I scratch my head and say "that's the main event???". Jericho versus Booker T might have been a better choice, but oh well. This match turned to nothing, and quick, with run ins everywhere! Steve Austin returned, but as the Rattlesnake, and he helped the WWF wrestlers easily clear the ring of the WCW and ECW stars. I guess that's a good ending...
Before this match started, I presented the idea to a few friends and my brother that a Steve Austin heel turn for WCW/ECW wouldn't be a bad idea, whatsoever. For one, Austin could play off the rejection of Vince about his new attitude. Second, we do have Rock versus Austin at Summerslam 2001, so a big WWF versus WCW/ECW match would be strong. Third, it would actually give credibility to the ECW/WCW stable, for the only guys who can handle a main event are Booker T and DDP. It's just a thought, as it probably sounds stupid to many people reading it right now. I was thinking that instead of Austin fighting off the ECW/WCW wrestlers, he could attack the WWF ones. Oh well.
It's time to prove what a true IDIOT Stephanie McMahon is for professional wrestling, in terms of ways to get heat and having some respect for the legends in the business. Steph told Freddy Blassie that he has something in common with the WWF, and which is that they are both about to die. And you know what, Stephanie and the sick WWF want us to be shocked at this comment. They want us to talk about how sick and disturbed it was. They want the word to get around that shock value is on the WWF shows.
However, I just want to point out that this is just another example of why having Stephanie McMahon in charge of the storylines is a bad idea by the WWF. She's dumb and a cancer for the WWF storylines, and ever since she took over creatively for the WWF, they've had nothing but ridiculous happenings going on, with wrong things said or done when aiming for shock value. It's ridiculous that Vince McMahon lets his love get over his brains in terms of running a successful WWF, compared to how it was in 1998 or 1999, with the storylines.
LAST WORD: Wow, two weeks in a row of bad booking by Stephanie on angles involving herself. This show, as a whole, wasn't all too exciting as you'd think it would be with interpromotional matches running. It just didn't have that spark that you'd think would be there on a hot angle running like the ECW/WCW invasion. I'm giving this show a
-Lance Storm/Mike Awesome versus Edge/Christian
-Rob Van Dam versus Jeff Hardy
-Earl Hebner versus Nick Patrick
-Tazz versus Tajiri
-Xpac versus Billy Kidman
-Acolytes versus Palumbo/O'Haire
-Hancock/Wilson versus Lita/Trish
-Team WWF versus Team WCW
It looks mighty good. Now watch, the good undercard matches will go under 5 minutes, and the main event will be a bust. We'll just see what else develops on Smackdown. Notice how we saw nothing to hype X-Pac versus Billy Kidman, whatsoever? Such irony.......
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Take Care, and Remember Terry Gordy.