Welcome to the column that never ends: the Phat Daily Column. Today, it's business as usual, as we'll eat some Daily Apples and we'll throw some hype on Smackdown. After some of the possibilities opened up on RAW, I'm very excited to see Smackdown tonight. Now, whether that excitement will occur when I read the WWF.com preview, well, we'll see.
Wow, what an overwhelming response to the Ratings Analysis banner request. It's very hard to pick one, for there are about 2 or 3 of the banners that I really like. Instead of making just one set banner like I do for the Tito is RAW, Phatdown, or Week in Review, I just might have to rotate between banners because they are that impressive. If you want to join the competition, all banners must be 100 pixels in height and 400 in width, they must be at most, 30 K, must be on a black background, and they should be in JPEG or GIF form. Mail them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org and please put "Ratings Analysis Banners" in your subject line. You will be fully credited for your work in a future PDC.
Throughout time, many have taken this column WAY too seriously. Instead of understanding that the Phat Daily Column is just based around opinion loaded with sarcasm, many take it as if it were something affecting them in real life. It's like they feel that the PDC is really ruining their life. Some people really need to sit back, relax, and understand that this is just an internet column. Mr. Tito is just a fake name or a gimmick to write that internet column. For anyone to take it seriously, like a life or death situation, is just flat out ridiculous.
I've put up with over 2 years (almost 3) of this stuff online, and it just baffles me at how some people can't contradict the internet from real life. Just amazing.
On to the PDC.
-You know, I'm no longer going to comment on Jerry "the King" Lawler until he's officially back in the WWF. I'm tired of speculating to whether he'll actually sign, like some reports hint, or if he'll just turn the WWF down, again, like other reports say. It's just a never ending cycle of bullshit, and until Jerry is finally sitting on the side of Michael Cole or Jim Ross, he's not in the WWF. Now, I wouldn't doubt that the WWF will eventually grab him, but I'm not saying a word about the King until he's finally a member of the WWFE family again. Thank you very much.
-I'm really hoping that Rob Van Dam can make something of himself in the WWF. I just hope that attitude conflicts or questions of his past don't come up while he's in the WWF. Knowing the PTC (Parents Television Council), they'll start barking that the WWF has a guy who was in an issue of "High Times" magazine or something like that. That wouldn't be good... Anyway, fans were quite pleased at the Smackdown dark matches, at least that's what the e-mails said. Just note that a lot of ECW influenced fans know the internet, and a lot of those reports saying that the RVD match was awesome, could have been biased. I hope not.
-No word or any hint of celebration by the WWF after the ratings came out on Monday Night. It's very obvious that they are really focused on getting a high number for Smackdown, and once that number rises, significantly, then the WWF can be confident that they did indeed hit their bottom out period and that the ECW and WCW invasions, combined, are saving wrestling on television. Then, we'll have the return of the Rock, which I think will help the ratings even more in drawing a lot of the casual WWF fans that left when the Rock went out to make the Scorpion King.
-Last night, after I got home from work, I was flipping around on the television and I stumbled upon something very weird on Cartoon Network. They had this strange cartoon to which this rather large and masked wrestler came down from outer space and challenged the world to beat him in a wrestling match, or he'd take over the world. The alien was called the Wrestler or Restler (since he had an "R" on his forehead) and his voice was none other than Macho Man Randy Savage! I've seen this cartoon before, but long ago and I forgot all about it until I saw it yesterday. Savage's character just destroyed many human opponents, until a monkey named Monkey (not the HUGE NEWS internet loser guy) showed the Restler courage to save the earth. I think Macho Man did this part back when he was a regular WCW superstar in 1997 when the Cartoon Network was beginning to really heat up.
By the way, the Smackdown preview on WWF.com has some interesting Flash on the Planet of the Apes. I had one of the evil apes jump up in the middle of my screen. Good thing I'm on a fast speed computer, this morning.
WWF.com promises us that Smackdown will feature the fallout from the WCW and ECW merger. Yeah, they really mean the new war between the McMahons. Argh, argh, argh! When will it be about the wrestlers again? Please alert me when that day arrives. Hey, we have some more interpromotional matches here. It's funny how we'll have to say that the ECW wrestlers, who were just WWF wrestlers, will be participating in interpromotional matches.
Oh wow, I can't wait for this match. This has every making for "Match of the Week" in my Week in Review column. WWF Hardcore Champion, Mike Awesome, will be taking on Jeff Hardy in probably a hardcore match. I seriously can't wait to see this match. First, you have Jeff Hardy, who can sell and take bumps like no other (beside Spike Dudley). Then, you have Mike Awesome, who is one of the stiffest wrestlers around and who loves to dish out power moves. It's a perfect fit, and we'll just have to see tonight if they can get the chemistry to put on a great match.
Wow, yet another great match, which we've already seen a good preview for on RAW. Former tag partners Lance Storm and Chris Jericho will do battle tonight, in what should be a thrilling match. They were working great together on RAW during the tag match, so it should be a no brainer that these two will put on a great one on one match. I'm not even done with the Smackdown preview, and there is 2 great reasons to watch it tonight already.
Next, it's Tazz vs. Hardcore Holly. Been there, done that, as Tazz beat Holly, and sort of quickly, on a match at RAW is WAR, I believe. This is an interpromotional match, by the way. Their first encounter was very short, though. I'm thinking with a little extra time, they could put on a very solid match. I'm sure the ECW hardcore fans are happy with the new ECW faction, because the window of opportunity just might open for Tazz on his wrestling career.
Wouldn't the WWF just be very fun to watch if that Dinosaur, the Undertaker, wasn't hopping around and attempting to wrestle with his aged and battered body? The WWF presents a lot of youth in their line up, but the Undertaker gives them a reminder of the older WWF. Anyways, he's rumored to be looking for Shane McMahon and Diamond Dallas Page for their stupid swerve on Monday Night. I'm still waiting for the explanation about the ending of last Smackdown, by the way.
Who knows what other surprises may pop up? I won't tell you, nor could I tell you. I don't read the spoilers, unless I absolutely need to for covering news or whatever, so I won't ever ruin a show for you. If you consider me evil in many ways, you can at least appreciate the no spoiler guarantee in the PDC. I could just build up the column like a non spoiler one, and then in one paragraph, I could just quickly mention what happens. But I won't. Those who don't read the spoilers and those who understand this column wouldn't appreciate me doing so.
CLICK HERE to listen to the latest show, covering the latest in wrestling today! Next Wednesday, July 18th, the Wrestle Palooza Audio Show will have former ECW superstar, Roadkill, as a guest on the show. Be sure to check regularly for any announcements concerning possible guests on the show. Also, listen to the archives, which features interviews with Bobby "the Brain" Heenan, Harley Race, Daffney, Spike Dudley, Dr. Death, Dusty Rhodes, Lenny Lane, Kid Kash, and more!
Mr. Tito's MARIO TENNIS Page: Serving up Codes, Cheats, Hidden Characters and Courts, and a lot more information about this GREAT Nintendo 64 game!!!!
Backyard BBQ: The Best in Backyard Wrestling!
Gamerave - The Ultimate Videogame Site: Reviews and Previews of Gameboy Advance games, along with information about future gaming systems!
------- For those of you who are asking about the links at the end... The links, here, are just of personal projects, LoP related, or of just acts of kindness to good friends of mine. I was flooded, and hard, with requests after I put up with Gamerave link, which is for a good friend of mine.
@That does it for today's Phat Daily Column. I'll be back, tomorrow, with more than a mouthful of PDC. Mouthful... I'm not exactly saying this, I'm typing it. Well, I'll be back with an extended Smackdown and Tough Enough column for y'all to read, if you can dig that.
Phat Pharm: Tables, Ladders, and Keyboards, Oh My! Receiving End and Right to Wrestle! Click Here to Read them!!
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.