Welcome to another heart-warming edition of the Phat Daily Column. Today, we've got a whole basket of Daily Apples to shove down your throat, so enjoy them while I shout "how about them apples?". You know what I like to see? People getting annoyed by my mentioning of that phrase. Gee, you wonder why I say it too much?

Alright, one of these days, I will indeed start the famous Time Machine Video Game reviews of old NES or SNES wrestling games. The Sega Genesis essentially had the same wrasslin' games as the SNES, so we won't do any Sega reviews. Plus, I'm a loyal Nintendo fan, and there hasn't been a gaming system, other than one made from Nintendo, in this household. That's the way it will stay, too.

The old video game reviews should replace the shortcomings of the wrestling industry right now. There aren't any new books or videos coming up from the WWF, aside from the Rock video, which I'll be avoiding. Yeah, there are a few independent books out there that I could get, but I'd rather not pay the shipping and handling if I saw it at my local bookstore.

Anyway, it's time to run my mouth, so on to the PDC.


-In something that nearly made me fall off my chair laughing, former WWF wrestler Chyna or going by her non-WWF name of Joanie Laurer is becoming the NEW host of TNN's "Robot Wars" show, replacing Mick Foley. Oh damn, that's too funny! I guess Chyna couldn't get those *special* acting roles that she was applying for. "Robot Wars" is the bottom of the barrel for anyone, and it figures that Joanie would go there because no movies or television shows want her now since she's not with the WWF. That's understandable, as there are plenty of muscle-bound women in the World to choose from, and I'm sure nearly all of them can talk and act better than Ms. Laurer. However, they can't host a Robot Wars show like she can!

-You know what I love? Whenever the WWF is low in the ratings, their office is extremely quiet. But once one incident sparks a decent number, they put out a press release, gloating about their so-called success. Thanks to tons of hype, the Triple H return helped to jump the RAW rating up to a 4.9 that week. Their last official show to NOT be affected by the holidays was on December 17, 2001, and that show scored a 4.0. Uh oh, that's 0.9 away, as about an extra million viewers tuned in to see the Game's return. My question is this: how long will it take for them to be bored of WWF wrestling again? I'll give it 3 weeks before the WWF goes back to normal, unless the WWF writers figure out how to, you know, write.

And I got a lot of shit about my RAW grade. I mainly said it for the lack of good wrestling, so let's take a look at each match, shall we?

-Rob Van Dam vs. Test: It's Test, nuff said. Test is a wrestler who relies on another to carry him, and RVD is a spot machine. They didn't mix well in their match and the overbooked protection on Test for his loss was ridiculous.

-Chuck Palumbo/Billy Gunn vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Prince Albert: Horrible tag match that would have been better suited for Sunday Night Heat. No tag psychology present with some odd crowd reactions for the wrestlers.

-Lance Storm vs. Edge: This one barely went over a minute, and it's for the Intercontinental Title, for Christ's sakes! This match was cut due to time restraints, while other matches get lots of time.

-Big Bossman/Booker T vs. Rock/Austin: It was OK overall, but Bossman can't hang with the big superstars any more. Take my Time Machine and send him back to the 1990's, please.

-Rikishi vs. Chris Jericho: The WWF is unsure whether to push Rikishi to the top or keep him in midcard heaven due to possible injury that it makes him a weak opponent for the Unified champion, Chris Jericho. Ridiculous overbooking of the ending, as referee Nick Patrick should have called DQ many times on Rikishi before the match ended. He's usually quick on calling matches.

-Tazz/Spike Dudley vs. the Dudleys: Probably the match of the night, and I guess I'll allow this one as a positive on RAW, although I don't agree with having two ECW midgits as champions.

-Trish Stratus vs. Terri in the Wet T-Shirt Contest: Vince Russo wants his ideas back.

You see what I mean? And this has been going on for a while, as it appears the WWF is only saving their decent wrestling for the Pay Per Views now. They should have at least did something with Storm and Edge, who were fighting over the Intercontinental title.

-And then we had the Triple H return. Just having him brawl with Kurt Angle didn't get me excited. Big deal. It showed me that the WWF lacked planning in what his role would be upon returning, other than making him a face. Oh well. I can take getting screamed at for explaining my reasons for giving the show a C-, and I'll gladly pat myself on the back once the WWF lowers their 4.9 rating back to a 4.0, unless a drastic angle sparks interest. With the current writing crew, headed by insane McMahons, I'd gladly put money on the line.

-Speaking of Triple H's return, I've been reading a lot of comments about his physique and how he's become that way for his comeback. Yes, the usual talk of how Triple H shot up on steroids to get his size back. I'll call that bluff, and please here me out. For anything I've watched on Triple H, he busts his ass in the gym. He puts himself through intense training that most wrestlers wouldn't even try for their bodies. Every injury Triple H has is something involving his legs, mostly his knees. Therefore, wouldn't he be able to keep up the work ethic on his upper body? When he was on the first episode of Excess, Triple H was still huge then, so what says he juiced up? It's not like he's roid-raging backstage or anything. Until you've witness Triple H shoot up on steroids or hear about any insane or crazy behavior, don't bother to accuse him of roiding.

-FINGER OF SHAME to the Madison Square Garden crowd, on RAW, for their What? chants during the National Anthem. There's no excuse for such disrespect for an anthem of a country who is fighting a war overseas to protect our nation and of a country who is doing everything they can to restore the fans' home, New York City, after the 9-11 attacks. That just makes me want to throw up at how ignorant those NYC wrestling fans were Monday Night. Bunch of assholes!

-And speaking of "What?", Lance Storm's latest commentary addresses how Austin's crowd phrase is just killing heel promos. I couldn't agree with that more. It's like the WWF crowds just pay admission just to say "What?" for whenever anyone talks. Hey, I have a solution. How about less talking and more wrestling? I do have a better solution, though, and that's to have every heel in the WWF get together and go directly after Steve Austin for ruining their promos. Oh shoot, we've been there and done that. In 1998's Rumble, all of the wrestlers wanted a piece of Austin because he kept attacking them before hand. In 1999's Rumble, Vince McMahon placed a bounty on Austin's head. There goes that idea, although I wouldn't doubt that the current recycling writing crew would try it.

-In a WrestlingObserver.com interview with Triple H, I found it interesting that he's already wrestled Ric Flair. Oh no, it was never on television. Before a television taping or whatever, Triple H and Flair would hop into the ring and work out. Both guys haven't officially wrestled in a long time, so they got together to simply have fun in the ring. I'm wondering if this will turn out to be anything big in the long run, as this newfound possible friendship could lead to something. Personally, speaking as a fan I guess, I can't wait for Flair to start wrestling guys like the Rock, Triple H, Jericho, Kurt Angle, and Steve Austin. Talk about entertainment!

-Uh oh, it looks like the Undertaker hurt his back during the Smackdown match with the Big Show. So what will this mean? Well, we'll see an even slower Undertaker, as if we needed that. When injuries occur, the Undertaker usually gets extremely out of shape when trying to continue his wrestling schedule. Finally, will the Big Show get buried now that he hurt the Undertaker? I mean, wrestlers who simply have bad matches, in the Taker's opinion, get depushed and yanked off television, so what happens when a wrestler actually hurts the Undertaker, physically? Probably nothing, since Big Show is a big man (Vince loves big and tall wrestlers) and the fact that he's part of the Shane McMahon clique. Any other wrestler would be out of the federation by now.

Finally, just a mention of remorse for Dave Thomas, the founder of Wendy's fast food chain. He's an example of the American dream, setting a goal and working hard for it, and after he became successful, he gave back by starting his Foundation for Adoption and providing for other charities.

AOL Instant Messenger: BookerTito - It's recommended that you send your questions or feedback as your first message so that it could be answered, instead of saying "hi", "hey", "what's up" or whatever else. Just get to the point, please, to make it easier since I get drilled with messages.

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@That's all for today's PDC. I hope to be back, tomorrow, with either something like this and/or a Smackdown hype. Until then, adios!

Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

Mr. Tito 1998 - 2002 Exclusive to LordsofPain.net/WrestlingHeadlines.com