Welcome to the Monday Night Impressions edition of the Phat Daily Column. Both RAW and Nitro returned to Head to Head competition last night, both with LIVE shows. It should be the true test to see how much the wrestling industry is slipping, if it really is, when the ratings come out. But the ratings aren't out yet, so we must get out the gradebook and the loaded opinions to discuss the shows. So on to the PDC!

MONDAY NIGHT IMPRESSIONS

-NITRO-

Ric Flair is great for the sport, great as a wrestler, and great for WCW, BUT why does he make long interviews everyweek? Flair is only good on the mic when he's a heel, dogging his opponent. As a FACE CEO of WCW, he just makes long interviews that waste time. I felt like I was watching Vince McMahon all over again, but without the anger. Geesh.

Get up off your feet... put your hands together! Shannon Moore and Chavo Guerrero put on a decent Cruiserweight outing, with Chavo carrying the spotman Shannon Moore. Clean win too, yipee! WCW is trying to jumpstart the Cruiserweight division by splitting up one of their better tag teams. Hmm. Maybe they wouldn't have to do that if Rey-Rey and Kidman were willing to join the Cruiserweight division.

Shame on WCW. They broke rule #985 in their rule book, and that's to never have the Cat fight the Harris Boys, and then to actually make the Harris Boys win that match. Harris Boys need to be tucked away in a far, far place and the Cat needs to stay out of the ring, period. Horrible, horrible match!

Billy Kidman vs. Lance Storm was a reasonable match, although Kidman isn't exactly the most upbeat wrestler anymore. Remember when he was fun to watch? Personally, I'd like to see another Lance Storm vs. Rey-Rey match, or Rey-Rey against Mike Awesome to mix it up. But in all cases, at least the Misfits in Action are no longer feuding with Team Canada. That's the biggest plus of them all!

It's funny to see Shane Douglas and Ric Flair working so well, together, during a backstage segment. Couldn't have happened 3 years ago. Shane jobbed to Softball Sid this week, thus helping to hype Sid at Sin, and thus flushing Shane's credibility down the toilet heading into his match with General Rection. Of course, winning that US title from a Misfit in Action doesn't give you much credibility anyway.

The KroniK Protection Agency fought Bill Goldberg and the Sarge to a decent match, much better than the PPV match between Goldberg and Kronik. Why? It wasn't a 4 minute marathon!! Goldberg matches are much better to watch when someone takes him to a decent time limit. That's why DDP vs. Goldberg was very good at Halloween Havoc 1998. Speaking of DDP...

The Insiders had someone slip a lovely sheet of paper into Sander's jacket before that odd Last Man Standing match. Shouldn't Sanders have checked that paper before giving it to Penzer? The Insiders, by the way, made a good return after being absent due to the DDP-Scott Steiner fight.

The World Title match was disappointing. It could have been better if they could have fought a little longer, and harder, but Softball Sid and the Black Scorpion ran down to attack! Man, for those of you who have hopes up for this guy being a roided up and shorter Sting, then you'll be disappointed when Rick Steiner is revealed as the man behind the mask at Sin.

Nitro Phat Stats

Clean Wins: 5
Screwjobs: 1
Disqualifications: 0
No Contests: 1

LAST WORD: I could really nail WCW for their ill attempt at the main event, but I'll be nice since WCW doesn't have much up there at the top. Now if they actually pushed Lance Storm, Shane Douglas, or Mike Awesome, then they might not be relying on Rick Steiner to come back as the Mystery Man, or to rely on Sid either. But hey, I'm only a column writer who just gives opinions on shows and federations. I'll give this show a

C+

because of a few bad spots here and there. WCW has enough good workers to make a strong show, but yet we are treated to the Harris Boys. Go figure. I predict a 2.1 in the first hour.

-RAW is WAR-

Long interview to start, because it's the WWF. Vince McMahon came out to put himself over, like usual, and Austin had enough. BUT, Kurt Angle came out and he made the interview a little interesting. After the talk was over, he nailed Austin with the title. Great way to hype the match, early on.

Good match, as usual, from Chris Jericho/Hardy Boys against the Radicalz. Great finish too, with the famous backslide. If you are an NWA/World Class mark like myself, then you appreciate that move when the famous Kerry Von Erich defeated Ric Flair for the World Title, back in the day, with the backslide after an excellent match. Looks like Jericho's pin on Benoit just inked another Jericho vs. Benoit match, which the WWF always goes to when they have no idea how to elevate each of their careers. It's true.

I'm sure a bunch of kiddie sites will have NUDE PICTURES OF LITA IN THE SHOWER. Oh shit, the famous MONKEY already has something up! LOL! Here's the title:

HOT Photos of LITA in The Shower! WWF Royal Rumble **SPOILER**! New WWF Champion! Trish Stratus in her Underwear! .....>>**Click HERE**!<<<...

What a retard. No wonder the internet gets a bad rap. It's little loser kids like this who make everyone look bad. By the way, that kid doesn't have a Royal Rumble spoiler on his site. He's lying. Any site who employs this kid, as a reporter, is totally ridiculous. He's only using you for cheap hits. By the way, isn't capturing photos from RAW is WAR illegal under the WWF's standards of copyright laws? Oh wait, this site doesn't get enough hits yet to get noticed. Oh shoot. Wait a second, I should save this material for a Bad Tito. My bad.

Damn you WWF. They found my softspot, which is that I LOVE Lumberjack Matches. I used to really mark out for those back in the 80s, when World Class or the NWA would do one. Another good one was between Shawn Michaels and Hacksaw Jim Duggan, on RAW years ago. In fact, last night's match between Billy Gunn and Val Venis was the BEST of their matches thus far, which was a Lumberjack match. Amazing what a fun gimmick can do for a match. Gunn looked the best since he's come back too, which doesn't mean you should push him to the moon, which I fear might happen. Gunn did get the win so that this never ending feud might end. Oh wait, Chyna's returning soon. NOOOO!

Weird match involving the WWF refs and the Rock against Rikishi and Kane. Pretty entertaining, which eventually set up a 4 Way for Smackdown, since booking on the fly is so much fun.

I remember when the 24/7 rule was fun, and that was when it first started. I don't understand how Raven could pin Bob Holly to end his match with Steve Blackman. I just don't get it.

Amazing how the WWF is reverting to stealing a Vince Russo idea of making Kaientai talk. Amazing. La Parka (Skull Captain) and Kaz Hayashi (The Kaz Master) were much funnier. Indeed.

Oh my God. The Edge/Christian segment, with the Dudleys parents, had me in tears from laughing. Those two are just so damn funny for their own good. Then, the Dudley Boyz came down, and beat the living shit out of the fake Dudley parents. Edge and Christian can't fool nobody. All the way back to ECW, it was determined the the Dudley Boyz were two brothers from two different mothers. It was funny to see Levon Dudley adjusting himself in mid air to take the 3D, and then the Mama Dudley took some brutal punishment! She took a WAZZZZZZZUP headbutt to the Depends, and then she took one of the stiffest Buh Buh powerbombs yet! Ouch!

Stephanie told Trish Stratus where to go in the second segment. Notice how the RAW shows are getting much more racier? Looks like someone hit the panic button, and brought back the old bag of tricks that worked in 1998. The year is 2001, if nobody has told you Vince. Trish would later have to fight in a Handycap match with Albert against Test. Why William Regal interfered, well, that's a mystery.

AWESOME match between Steve Austin and Kurt Angle. Kurt Angle looked like a real World Champion, for once, tonight as he pounded Austin with a million suplexes. I was hoping for an Austin heel turn, but that's wishful thinking. Stupid ending, though, with Triple H interfering. He should have nailed Austin to make him lose to Angle, instead of just ending the match. It would have done two things: 1. Added much more heat to Triple H vs. Austin, and 2. It would have given needed credibility to Kurt Angle. Much Deserved credibility. But I'm not the booker, so I'll shut up already.

RAW Phat Stats

Matches: 6
Clean Wins: 2
Screwjobs: 1
Disqualifications: 2
No Contests: 1

LAST WORD: The ending the WWF gave us will end up hurting the promotion in the long run because we were treated to a bad finish. Good thing the match was good up until then, but Austin should have won the title or got screwed of the title. Sure, Triple H ended his match, but it didn't benefit Angle, who worked hard in that match. For that main reason, I'll bump this show to an

A-

Had there been a better ending, like having an Austin victory or a Kurt Angle screwjob, then this would have been the first ever A+ that I've given RAW is WAR. But the exclusive club of Austin, Rock, Undertaker, and Triple H will never be denied in favor Kurt Angle, who is the World Champion if you remember or not. I predict a 4.8 in the first hour.

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@Oh boy. Well, I'm off to class to suffer through the rest of the day. I'll be back tomorrow with Ratings Analysis, if you can dig that. Just chill!

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