Welcome everyone to another edition of the Phat Daily Column. Yesterday's column was unable to be produced for a reason. Here in Eastern Ohio, we've been getting blasted with a nice amount of snow. I had an hour set aside, this morning, for work just to whip up a column. However, that hour was used to shovel the Titomobile out so that I could go to work. How nice, eh?

I did arrive back at home around 6 pm, to which I was about to do a column then. But what good is a Monday Night Hype column when RAW is just 3 hours away? It made no sense to me. But I had a lot to do here at home, anyway, as I have computer parts, boxes, and whatever else laying everywhere in this room, including the pieces for the Compaq from Hell, to clean up.

But I am here today, and here's my fun installment of RAW thoughts. On to the PDC.


This new keyboard appears to make me type faster... hmmm...

On the night where it's likely to have more viewers, who tries to steal the spotlight early on? Why it's Vince McMahon. At least this one was decent, for Vince whipped out some classic Flair WCW and WWF footage to re-educate fans that Flair was indeed one of the best wrestlers ever. Vince would attempt to do some poor comedy by putting on Flair's robe and a bleach whig, which made Ric Flair come to the ring. Vince had a pipe hidden somewhere in the robe, and eventually struck Flair with it, as if there's an outside chance of Vince beating up Flair at Royal Rumble. Good opening segment, but not a hot opening match to pump up the New York City crowd.

Our first match was Rob Van Dam versus Test. I had fears about the outcome of this match. Let's look at the situation. Test is NOT over as a heel, and RVD is damn near the most over as a face. Who should win?!? Thank God logic prevailed over pushing one of Shane McMahon's buddies over RVD. Not a bad match, but it's what you'd expect in seeing Test, with the same moves and acting every week, taking on RVD with his usual spinning kicks. Way too much ridiculous referee attacks without any DQs... not that I'm arguing that because there was a win. Funny how RVD, the face, can't get a totally clean win over Test.

Oh lord. Let's just completely half-ass this show because fans are tuning in to see Triple H, anyway. Chuck Palumbo and Billy Gunn... Oh, excuse me. Billy and Chuck took on Scotty 2 Hotty and Albert in a boring and stupid tag team match. It appears that Scotty 2 Hotty has lost his face reaction, at least with his entrace. This match should have been saved for Mtv Heat instead of wasting television time that should go to matches, such as Edge vs. Lance Storm, which was too short later in the show. Somehow, anything with Billy Gunn gets attention in the WWF, no matter how many times he's turned out to be horrible in an angle or in a match.

Weird backstage interviews this week. Someone take away Michael Cole's caffeine before he gets all hyper about being in New York City for the Smackdown tapings.

Now I'm not saying this in defense of Lance Storm and Edge. Oh no. I'm saying this in defense of the Intercontinental Title, which gets no attention. How can you have a prestigious secondary title when you give the match less than 2 or 3 minutes to develop? Yet, the WWF can give extra time to Scotty/Albert vs. Billy/Chuck, so go figure. Not much I can say about the match, as it was too short to even rate. After the match, William Regal came back and attacked Edge. I have a feeling that Regal will indeed win that IC title at Royal Rumble now that he's healthy again.

Next match was the 1st Hour Main Event, pitting Steve Austin and the Rock against the Big Bossman and Booker T. Bossman acting as a McMahon stooge is soooo 1998. Did I say that already? OK tag match, but nothing really special with the WWF's "two biggest faces". Funny how Austin and the Rock acted like they had no heat with each other, as I guess they just forgot what happened at Wrestlemania 17 and/or Survivor Series 2001. Rock and Austin won, although it could have made sense for Jericho to help Bossman/Booker T win the match, but that's just my opinion.

Chris Jericho versus Rikishi 2000 was the next bout. "Rikishi 2000" refers to the guy who wrestled in 2000, as he was actually over and cared about by fans back then, whereas he isn't now. Oh boy, let's see a stinkface! That's soooo funny! HAPPY HAPPY, JOY JOY!!! The ending was quite ridiculous, as referee Nick Patrick was bumped around enough to call DQ on Rikishi, but he didn't. Watching Patrick for many years now, he always calls for the bell once he gets touched. By the way, didn't Patrick and Chris Jericho once feud in WCW? That they did, as Jericho said he'd fight Nick Patrick with one arm at a Pay Per View, back in the day. Jericho won after Patrick was in awe of getting the stinkface, as Jericho hit Rikishi 2000 with a title belt.

Round 3 of the Tazz/Spike versus the Dudleys occurred, but this time, it was a hardcore title. The 3rd bout was made possible from Tazz and the Dudleys hinting about their old ECW days, without mentioning those 3 letters. Spike and Tazz won the titles off of the Dudleys, in a finish that didn't draw much crowd reaction. I don't really see Spike and Tazz as a good tag team, but that's my opinion. I don't get why a team, put together for no reason officially, would beat a team who owned the Unified titles? It appears that the Tag Team division always dwindles when the WWF is in a downhill slide, and I don't know why?

*YAWN* at the wet t-shirt contest. How old is Terri these days? 50 or so? At least the implants still look good, although they take up about 60% of her body. I knew Trish wouldn't get "wet" in the contest, as I don't think she wants to show any hints of nudity, other than pushing her breasts damn near out of her shirts and/or bikini tops. Oh boy, I'm so pumped for the Trish versus Jazz match. SMELL THE BUYRATE if they even dare put it on the Royal Rumble. By the way, this "Wet T-Shirt Contest" was the "Main Event" of last night's RAW.

Although I'm thrilled to see the Game back, Triple H's return was weak if you ask me. Hardly any drama to it, from what I saw. At least Kurt Angle mentioned some history, as he beat Triple H at last year's Rumble. Disappointing.

If I was the burned out creative writer for the WWF, I'd push for a Stephanie-Triple H break up in the storylines, citing the fact that Triple H is mad at Stephanie for attempting to ruin the WWF, a company in which the Game loves to work for, no matter who owns it. Of course, that wouldn't make sense, because Triple H would look stupid for holding those emotions in for so long.

RAW Phat Stats
Matches: 7
Clean Wins: 5
Screwjobs: 1
Disqualifications: 0
No Contests: 1

LAST WORD: What a weak show with all of the hype surrounding it. It's very obvious that the creative team got lazy because they knew Triple H would draw numbers, alone. However, the WWF does NOT think of long term, and for those who sat for nearly 2 hours of not improved crap, the Triple H return won't mean much until the Royal Rumble spikes numbers, and it will be downhill after that.


(C Minus). This show just didn't excite me. Triple H's return was weak as can be, and the wrestling was the usual dicking around by the WWF. Here's the verdict on the WWF right now: big talent roster but very little brain cells to write good wrestling programs right now. The Christmas/New Years break didn't do much to clear the mind of the burnt out WWF writers.

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@That's all for today. I hope to be back, tomorrow, with another installment of the PDC. Until then, why not chill?

Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

Mr. Tito 1998 - 2002 Exclusive to LordsofPain.net