Welcome to another wonderful edition of the Phat Daily Column. Today is MONDAY NIGHT HYPE, as I'll give you some delicious previews for RAW is WAR and Nitro. This is RAW's true test, in the ratings, to see if they are a sinking promotion or not. It's also a good night to see how many people remember WCW or not. Also, some quick thoughts on ECW in today's PDC. So let's jump onto it NOW!!!!!

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MONDAY NIGHT HYPE

Nitro

Ric Flair is going to be a bastard to Mike Sanders, as he'll name an opponent at Sin in a "commissioner's match", where Sanders could lose his spot. Gee, I wonder if the Cat will be named as the opponent? I hope that the Cat wins it too, because the Cat has put on some bad wrestling matches lately as just a regular wrestler.

I guess since Scott Steiner was suspended for Chunder, that's why he came down as the Mystery Man to attack Sid. Out of his suspension, Scott Steiner must face his good buddy, Jeff Jarrett. I wonder if they still have any NWO ties to the failing last attempt? That should be a good main event, if they actually wrestle. I expect for the REAL mystery man or Black Scorpion to be revealed during this match. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back Rick Steiner. I do like his phrase "don't like me, bite me".

Chavo Guerrero will face 3 Count's Shannon Moore in a Cruiserweight battle. That's going to be a good match, since Moore is a spot man and Chavo can carry him to a good match. This is Moore's bigtime to shine too, since the WCW bookers want him in this division!

Cool. Billy Kidman will face Lance Storm tonight. Given a good 10 minutes, we could be treated to a good match. However, I'm sure we'll see some interference with a 4 minute match. Sigh. They should push Storm to the top as a legitimate upper carder, and push Kidman down to the Cruiserweight division to make that strong again. Remember what I said the other day about the strong Cruiserweight division in the Rise of WCW column?

RAW is WAR

Tonight, Steve Austin faces Kurt Angle for the World Heavyweight title. Say it with me:

TURN AUSTIN HEEL
TURN AUSTIN HEEL
TURN AUSTIN HEEL

The time is right for the WWF to spark up things, and by turning Austin heel and having him win the title, it would do wonders! Make him and Vince McMahon as an evil team to get MONSTER HEAT! Then, you could set up a monumental match between the Rock and Stone Cold at Wrestlemania 17. It's such a perfect time to do it, and I'll be hard pressed if the WWF drops the ball on this great opportunity.

I have a suggestion for the Royal Rumble coming up. Remember when they had the mini-Rumble with DX vs. the Corporation??? Remember how fun that was to watch? Why not do it again, and why not try it tonight? Winner gets the 30th spot in the rumble.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Val Venis vs. Billy Gunn in the cage tonight! Why, WWF, why??? Their match wasn't fun the million other times you made us watch them, and now you put those slugs in the cage to fight? Give me Undertaker vs. Bossman, Wrestlemania 15, before watching this match. Please!

ECW Thoughts

Wow. Rhino is the new world champion. He defeated the Sandman for the title, after the Sandman won a three way dance between Corino and Credible. That shows that Paul Heyman and Sandman are on much better terms, even though the Sandman was ousted quickly by Rhino. Rhino was the TV champ, and now he's the World, thus unifying the titles. That sort of scares me to see him as the top company man, but I'd rather have him on top the should-be-midcarder Justin Credible.

Speaking of Credible, he reformed the Impact Players with Steve Corino. Yikes. It's funny how the other member of the Impact Player always gets dragged down by Credible. It's just amazing. They'll probably win the World Titles off the hardworking Doring/Roadkill, and keep the titles until Corino probably moves to a better federation, and Credible stays in ECW because he sucks too bad to go elsewhere. History repeats itself so much.

Rob Van Dam is your surprise, and that's a good one by Heyman. However, I don't think a surprise match between himself and Jerry Lynn, which we've seen about 109383472773 times already will change ECW forever. I guess it will lead to Rob Van Dam finally defeating Rhino, and winning the unified Title. Too bad it comes too late, when the federation should have put RVD over earlier. But of course, he had the ankle injury, which ruined a lot of things.

A bunch of odd returns last night though. Missy Hyatte made a surprise appearance with Credible and Corino last night, in an odd backstage sequence. Geesh, how old is she? I remember her when she was considered the NWA's hottest piece of ass back in the day. Hey, and that was the late 80s!!! Chris Chetti also returned, after being ousted from ECW in a loser-leaves-ECW-match last PPV. Wasn't he supposed to be wrestling on WWF TV already? I don't know the terms of that WWF developmental deal, but he's been begging for some independent bookings lately. It's funny how in ECW, they all come crawling back, with a FEW exceptions to that rule.

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@That's all for today. I'll be back tomorrow with MORE PDC to go around. Monday Night Impressions will be the main focus... Just chill...

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