Welcome to another edition of the Phat Daily Column. Today, if you didn't know this already, is WWF day. If you haven't been here on Fridays, you'll know that it's the day where I review Smackdown, discuss current WWF topics, and give my Jackson 5 for the top 5 WWF wrestlers. Now isn't that fun? On to the PDC.
The first match of the night was Rikishi versus Undertaker. Unless you are totally braindead, you could predict the outcome of this match. Haku, or the artist formerly known as Meng, came running down and ruined this hyped match. Wow, that was hard to call. I do, however, like the double team move of Rikishi-Haku, to where Rikishi sits on someone and Haku headbutts. As Meng, he never did that headbutt. Amazing. And guess who comes down later? Kane! Oh boy, I can't wait for this tag match. Hey, Kane was booked to fight Kurt Angle. Just take a guess of how that ends. We'll get to that later.
Good old Vince McMahon. I like how he has to put himself over for a nice 10 minutes before finally telling everyone about the Triple H vs. Steve Austin match at No Way Out. But hey, it's his ratings.
Great stuff with the Acolytes and Hardy Boyz feud. The Hardys pulled a good one on the Acolytes last night, as they did a mixed tag match with each members of the team. Hardys said to hell with the match, and Matt Hardy let Jeff pin his partner, Farooq. The REAL comedy of this match were the entrances. I was in tears when Matt Hardy came out with Farooq, with the APA music. Matt would do his stupid hand signals, and Farooq would just look back at him! Classic moment! Great feud here!
You know what's funny? The Rock was feuding with the Big Show at this time during last year! Man, what originality! What's even better is the fact that Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho are pawns in this feud. By the way, I guess Big Show did actually lose weight. The big man got up and sold Rock's Rock-bottom like a bitch!
I'll agree with Al of Scoops in that it's sad that Tazz needed Kaientai to defeat K-Kwik. It's just another toilet flush for Tazz, which we'll get to in the opinion area. If you look closely during this match, you'll see the Skull Captain walking by with his LoP Sign. :)
Decent match between Christian and Test. Test was actually receiving a decent pop, much to my surprise. It's funny that the announcers said that Christian could have lost some teeth during that big boot. If Test were to take one of those to the mouth, ALL of his teeth would come falling out!
Funny that Kaientai was drinking beers with Steve Austin. Was Austin behind screwing K-Kwik earlier? I'm sure we'll see the following news headline somewhere: "STEVE AUSTIN TO FEUD WITH K-KWIK". Uh huh. It should be noted that Funaki is actually good friends with Austin in real life, oddly enough. I believe Funaki also lives in Texas, and is a regular at Austin's house. Isn't it amazing that he's the only Austin buddy not getting a push now?
I can't believe that Bob Holly can pin people off a F'N dropkick! Man, that just brings back memories of the Global federation, which used to be on ESPN in the early 90s. Back then, wrestlers would fight each other with boring moves, and then a lame move (like a drop kick) would come out of no where to pin someone. Shows how good Holly really is.
Lots of Backstage crap tonight. Joy! Joy! Joy!!
Wow, who would imagine that Rikishi and Haku would run down during Kane's World Title match against Kurt Angle? To make it even more obvious beforehand, the Samoan duo attacked the Undertaker before the match started. Undertaker limped down at the end of the match, but the Samoans were JUST TOO POWERFUL. I do NOT want to see this tag match!
The WWF was coasting, big time, this week for Smackdown. The Acolytes/Hardy Boyz thing was the only fun match or segment of this show. The rest was garbage, which makes me worry about the storylines. The WWF has nothing to show for a great show in the Royal Rumble. So sad. I'm giving this one a D. Horrible, horrible show.
+ Wouldn't it make sense for him to get revenge, after his injury, on the man who attacked him? The WWF didn't think highly of him there. And what about the Jerry Lawler feud? Lawler made him look BAD, since Tazz was the heel in this situation. 3 years ago, Tazz was pounding Lawler, when Lawler made his trip to ECW to "invade". So letting this older man destroy you makes you a success? Then, he became a Heat commentator. Heat hasn't done crap in the ratings in 2000 with Tazz there, so how could you call that successful?
+ If anything, Tazz in 2000 was a nightmare! It's just ridiculous of Tazmission to do that. But of course, the WWF probably monitors the websites, since they want to eventually ban them, so I guess you got to kiss the ass of the WWF brass. At least not mention anything about the year 2000, instead of attempting to glorify it. I bet 2001 will even be worse, since the WWF wants Tazz to head up the Tough Enough program. All of the ECW dreams of Tazz making it big in the WWF will be officially flushed down the toilet after that.
Hey, Eddie Guerrero is returning. Now the WWF can let him carry more slugs to good matches, until he gets injured again doing it. A high profile Jericho vs. Guerrero feud has money all over it. Yes, they've fought before, BUT that was with a lot of involvement with Chyna. Eddie, alone, is hated by the fans, and Jericho is now loved by the fans. Just do it!
I wonder what the WWF will call this Samoan Team, which is set to gain new members. Let's see here... well, they could beg WCW to give them the Samoan Swat Team name, that way fans could chant: "SST! SST! SST!" OR, they could go with the Headshrinkers, which was Fatu and Samu's tag team name in the WWF. They could also aim for the Samoan Gangsta Party, which was the Independent name for a certain group of Samoan wrestlers. But seriously, if the WWF is going to make this group, give them a REALLY cool name!
Beautiful Bobby Eaton has signed a deal with the WWF to work with Developmental talent. Excellent signing there, as Eaton is one of the best fundamental wrestlers out there. He's been in the business for years, and up and comers could use his advice on stuff. Great decision! I love it!
But what I don't love is the fact that Justin Credible was signed by the WWF. He's SOOOO overrated, it's insane! I'd laugh if the WWF gave him the Aldo Montoya gimmick again, but that's doubtful. I'll put money on it that he'll buddy-up with the returning X-Pac. I've always thought that Credible, by the way, looked like a bald and thicker X-Pac. Just remember that he's another Clique member, which serves some theories that the Clique will someday run the WWF again. Look for Credible to get a push, since he's pals with Triple H, who decides who gets pushed in the WWF nowadays.
4. Chris Jericho: Always working hard, no matter what.
3. Hardys/Acolytes: Only real entertaining thing on RAW/Smackdown this week.
2. Steve Austin: Your Rumble winner, with LOTS of booking power!
1. Kurt Angle: RESPECT, find out what it means for Angle.
Be sure to read Jaymz's latest column, Dead Bodies Everywhere, for a very entertaining read!
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@That's all for today. I'll be back, tomorrow, with the LONG History of the New World Order. God, that's going to be a monster to type! Until then, just chill....
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Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.