Welcome to the Phat Column, Monday Night came and went, but this time, Mr. Tito took notes, and has the results of both shows! I will also have my reviews of what happened, and grades as well. I will also have news for you too!

Monday Night Impressions!


-Nitro starts off with Mean Gene, he introduces Flair. Flair re-instated JJ Dillion, and says Hogan will defend the title at Superbrawl. Why not Souled Out???? Anyways, Flair announces a ladder match with the tazer in the sky for Goldberg vs. Scott Hall. Flair asks for the LWO to come out. They come out, and Flair asks them to return to WCW, and they all do except for Rey Misterio. Flair challenges Hennig for later on this night. Thank God the LWO is over!

-Next up with Mene Gene also, is Perry Saturn. He challenges, but Jericho comes out and says he will only fight Saturn only if Saturn loses, he must wear a dress. Saturn fights the Cat (AGAIN!!)and loses to him again when Dickenson, who is lame, gives the match to the Cat when Jerich attacks Saturn. Jericho tries to put Saturn in a dress. Jericho is gonna lose to Saturn soon. I am also tired of Cat vs. Saturn matches.

-Has a segment with Bischoff seeing Flair. Flair says he has plans for Nash and Hogan, and Bischoff will now put rings up for WCW. I hate Bischoff!

-Mean Gene, AGAIN! With Chavo too. It's Pepe's birthday, and Norman Smiley comes down, and attacks Chavo. Takes Pepe, and kills Pepe in the shreddar! Norman Smiley doesn't deserve Nitro time, nor does Chavo deserve Mean Gene time!

-Shows Raven and James talking about Saturn, and Raven asks his mom about his high school year book. They look for it, only to find pictures of Roddy Piper...hmmm.

-NWO then arrives with the Hells Angels, to do an old fashioned boring interview.

-Rey Misterio then fights Kaz Hayashi. He's still wearing the LWO shirt, which he didn't take off earlier, he just walked away. Lugar would later come down and confront, then attack Rey. Rey then puts up a fight, only to be torture racked! Konnan comes down, and the rest of the NWO comes down and they attack Konnan, and spray paint his ass!

-All through the night, Nitro puts up too many flashbacks from recent shows!

-Mean Gene, AGAIN, then interviews the Giant, and I swear, Giant can't talk worth a damn.

-Lenny Lane vs. Booker T. Please find someone better for Booker T to wrestle. Booker T wins, of course.

-New NWO segment with Hogan and Nash, how lame.

-Scott Steiner vs. DDP. Buff interfered in this one big time. This match was a long technical match, but then Vincent interferes, Buff Powders DDP, and Scott Steiner kills DDP with a chair, then puts him in the recliner, and Steiner is your winner.

-Goldberg interview...zzzzzz

-Shows Bischoff putting the ring together earlier..kinda funny.

-I swear, WCW wants everyone to be sorry for Goldberg!!

-Scott Hall comes down, rips on Goldberg. He then fights Bam Bam. Disco comes down with the Tazer, then Wrath interferes, Scott Hall stuns Bam Bam while Disco is distracting the ref, Hall wins!

-More boring Goldberg interview. zzzzz

-It was announced that Bam Bam and Wrath were gonna fight at Souled Out. Joy. This match could fortell Wrath's future with WCW.

-Flair vs. Hennig. Windham comes down, so does David Flair. This match was a good technical match, Hennig and Windham would later attack David Flair, and then Flair would put Hennig in the figure 4. Windham comes in, and the match is over. David gets up, and helps his daddy get the bad guys out of the ring.

-Michael Buffer announcing. I swear, he sucks anymore! Anyways, Giant vs. Nash. Nash is accompanied by Hall. With interference from Bischoff and Hall, Nash wins! Bischoff would say "the TITANic has sunk, Nash is the real corperate Giant". NWO would do their usual, attacking the Giant, and spraypainting his back. Good luck in the WWF Mr. Giant!

-Overall, I see too much repetition in this Nitro, as I always do. The boring interviews were present, as well as those damn flashbacks to previous shows. I didn't see nothing new with this Nitro, just the same old stuff. This week's Nitro gets a C for it's lack of anything new.


-Starts off, and this week live too, with DX coming out. They introduce Mankind! Mankind is also sporting the new music too! Mankind goes to the ring, where he talks, and he give credit to Jim Ross, and thanks to Stone Cold. Mankind wants to wrestle Stone Cold at Wrestlemania. Rock and the MacMahons come down. Shane announces the Corperate Royal Rumble, and says the winner will recieve the #30 slot. It will be DX vs. the Corperation. Rock Speaks. He wants a title shot at the Royal Rumble. Mankind denies him. They go back and forth, until it is agreed that the match will be an I Quit match, no DQ, No Countout, no corperation at ringside, and no stopping the match due to blood loss. Vince talks, and makes Mankind fight Kane tonight!

-New Age Outlaws come out and fight Owen and Jarrett. Debra tries to interfere, but Chyna comes over to confront her. Mr. Ass tries to hold Chyna back, meanwhile Road Dog gets pinned in the ring. Chyna pushes Debra. DX argues in the ring after match. Teasing a break up?

-Gillberg, that's right. It was fucking hilarious! He came down, and he was a great parody of Goldberg. He fights Luna, and Luna kicks his ass! After the match, the mysterious woman who confronted Sable(who is Terri Powers), attacked Luna. Interesting...

-Michael Cole announces HBK will go under the knife tomorrow.

-Dennis Knight, all fucked up, comes down to the announcers booth, and talks about the "one" coming. The Acolytes come and take him away.

-Val Venis comes down, and starts hitting on a chick, but is attacked by Shamrock. That was Shamrock's sister! Mr. Ass comes down, and flashes his sister, and Shamrock and Bossoman attack Mr. Ass. Shamrock gives Mr. Ass a title shot at Royal Rumble.

-Xpac vs. Al Snow. Goldust comes down, and hits Al Snow with the head, which he stole on Heat. Xpac wins with the X-Factor. Al Snow chases him back to the locker room.

-Kane vs. Mankind. Good physical match. Kane gets Mankind in the tombstone, and Kane is about to beat Mankind(cleanly I might add), but the Rock attacks Kane, and then Mankind. Stone Cold comes down, and chases the Rock away! Austin would then give Stunners to Mankind and Kane, and then taunts the Rock.

-Vince and the Rock argue on what happens in the back.

-HHH vs. Edge. HHH wins, but the Brood attacks him, then attempts the bloodbath, but DX comes down, and the Road Dog gets the blood bath! He was pissed! More DX teasing break up?

-Now this part was too fucked up. Show the Acolytes holding Dennis Knight on a table, and then the Undertaker comes out with Druids. He sits in his throne, and says some wierd shit, like he's the devil or something. He gets up, cuts his wrist, and spreads it on Dennis Knight, then puts his blood in a cup, and makes Dennis Knight drink it! He gets the knife, and carves the Undertaker symbol in his chest, and then lightning strikes on his symbol, catching it on fire. Now, what the fuck is up with this. This shit is way out of hand.

-D-Lo comes out with PMS. D-Lo appologizes to Terri Runnels about last week, and says he will do anything to make it up. Well, he has to fight Sexual Chocolate. PMS antagonizes the fight, and Terri Runnels hits Sexual Chocolate in the nuts! Chyna and Sammy come down, and Chyna pushes Jackylin. Jackylin's boobs pop out!!!!!!! Anyways, Chyna and Sammy escort Sexual Chocolate out. This shit is going crazy!

-Shows Shane training Vince, just like Rocky. Hilarious!

-Corperate Royal Rumble!! Shamrock is #1 and Mr. Ass is #2. Shamrock kills Mr. Ass, but gets eliminated! Bossman is #3 and comes in to kill Mr. Ass, which he does. Test is #4, and Mr. Ass is in for a beating now. Xpac is #5, and he helps out Mr. Ass. Mr. Ass gets eliminated, and Road Dog comes in, and he is #6. Kane is #7, and DX is now fucked! Road Dog is eliminated, leaving Xpac vs. Test, Bossman, and Kane. HHH comes to save the day, #8, and then Test accidentally hits Kane. Kane gets pissed, and elimiates test. Kane gets eliminated, and then Xpac as well. Bossman and HHH are left, until #9, Mr. Vince MacMahon comes down. He eliminates HHH and Bossman, who were tied up in the ropes. You think it's over? Chyna is #10!! She comes down, and Brisco and Patterson won't let her in. She takes care of them, and then gets in the ring. Stone Cold comes down, and distract MacMahon for Chyna to win the Corperate Royal Rumble! Joy! The end.

-Well, Raw had it's ups and downs. The Undertaker angle, I didn't like it. That drags this week's rating of Raw to a B.


-Sid is said to be a mainstay at ECW. I hope so, he really needs to get back on his feet. He'll probably use ECW to showcase his talent for the big 2.

-ECW Guilty as Charged got great reviews! Good Job ECW, just when you thought they were down...

-Weak Rumors suggest that David Flair will join Bischoff's horseman. I don't think that will happen.

-Shamrock's contract is up in Spring, but look for him to resign.

-Kidman's is up as well, but look for him to also resign.

That's all for today. Oh my, that was a shitload to type. I hope you enjoyed it, and have a nice day. You can e-mail me with whatever about wrestling, and I will try to reply!

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