Welcome to another gut-wrenching edition of the Phat Daily Column. Today, we'll review Smackdown, as the WWF has gone from SUCK to BLOW on their television shows. Why yes, that was a Spaceballs reference. Hell, maybe we could get another if we put Rikishi's head on backwards, and he could say "why didn't anybody tell me my ass was so big!".

But seriously. Take an honest look at the television shows. The wrestling is bad, either from time restraints, bad match ups, or the feeling that the wrestlers get screwed all the time by the WWF, so why care anymore? Then, we have the McMahons and their egos getting WAY out of control. It's ridiculously evident from last night.

So for today's Smackdown column, we'll do something *special*. We'll review what happened, and then briefly explain it as a flaw of the WWF's. Understand?

You better. On to the PDC.

SMACKDOWN isn't TITO

We had an interview to start out the show. And guess who it was? Why it was that bimbo, Stephanie McMahon, who said she was going to be off camera for a long period of time after Surivor Series. I guess that meant less than 2 months? What a damn ego. She's sooooo full of herself! I have a feeling we are in for a split up and tease swerve from Stephanie and Triple H. Stephanie dogged Triple H by saying his success all came from her support. Triple H will, in turn, be mad about this and hint leaving Stephanie. Then, he'll swerve us all and return to her arms so that we can see them last even longer as an on television couple. Oh boy, same shit, different year.

  • What's Wrong? Stephanie McMahon is now back to taking extended promo time for herself, while having NO TRUST in the wrestlers. Funny thing is that she writes herself into this situation.
  • Funny backstage segment with Lance Storm and Christian. Christian should be the one doing extended talking, and NOT Stephony McMahon. Our first match of the night was Tazz/Spike Dudley versus Lance Storm/Christian. Solid tag match from the four. Tazz looked especially good, in front of his NYC fans. The European champion tapped out cleanly to Tazz, and the Dudleys attacked Spike/Tazz after the match. So are Spike/Tazz dropping the titles to the Dudleys, or will they save them for Billy and Chuck?

  • What's Wrong? No reason given to why Christian and Lance Storm got the Tag Title shot. Secondly, Christian, as European champion, better get revenge on Tazz in one way or another, or he'll continue to look weak as a champion.
  • Next match was Edge vs. Big Bossman for the Intercontinental Title. Call Bossman "backpack", because Edge had to carry him through the whole match. What gave the Bossman a shot at the IC title was not given, as usual with all title shots. Bad match, thanks to the slow Bossman, and an even more embarrassing ending as Edge relied on a DDT on a nightstick to get the win.

  • What's Wrong? Bossman wrestling for a title. Also, why does Edge have to somewhat cheat to defeat the Bossman? It does NOTHING but make Edge look bad, while "keeping the heat" on the Bossman upon his return. It's this continued push towards old McMahon buddies or WWF veterans that keeps younger, and better talent from shining. Those old farts can't stick around for long.
  • I'm glad the WWF decided to make a match over the horrible "What" situation, especially from the NYC fans who can't stop saying it. Kurt Angle ragged on the NYC fans, and because of their chants, he challenged Austin to a match. Makes sense.

    Next match was Chris Jericho/Test versus Rock/Rob Van Dam. Not a bad tag bout overall, although any tag match involving the Rock is getting repetitive. At the beginning of every tag match against Jericho, he always chooses to chase Jericho instead of locking up with his opponent in the ring. It always goes wrong! I disliked the finish, big time. Jericho submitting to the Sharpshooter, again? Please.

  • What's Wrong? Yet another title being made to look bad. You don't have the Unified champion submitting to a secondary submission move of the Rock's. I would have easily accepted the Rock Bottom, since that is Rocky's finisher. But the Sharpshooter, especially how weak the Rock applies it? Come on! Secondly, will we ever get an explanation to why RVD and Rock like to tag up?
  • We would next see a one on one interview with Vince McMahon and Jim Ross, taped from earlier today. I guess it makes sense because Flair is selling Monday's injury, but Vince went on and on about himself. I understand putting over the angle of who is the best owner, but Vince was really ego-tripping about himself, in real life, instead.

  • What's Wrong? Vince takes too much airtime for himself, as usual.
  • Booker T vs. Rikishi was next. In reality, this COULD have been a decent match, but thanks to the drugs given to the WWF writers, we saw a No Contest ending because Booker T got sick from receiving the Stinkface. We are all getting stinkfaced from this horrible television anymore.

  • What's Wrong? What happened to the Austin-Booker T feud? Wouldn't Austin want to get revenge on the man who beat him in a First Blood match? And what is Rikishi's role, anyway? He's either losing or giving someone a stinkface. He pretty much does NOTHING for the WWF product right now.
  • Holy Cow! A Diamond Dallas Page sighting! He's alive! DDP just ragged on Booker T for receiving the Stinkface. It's likely that any of the WWF Good Ol' Boy Network wrestlers will see something about the segment to keep DDP off television, even longer.

    Final match was Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin. Not bad, but it's like these two are exhausted from wrestling each other after last summer's long program with each other. With some wrestlers, you can only just wrestle them so many times within a short period of time. The match ended with Kane, Big Show, and then Triple H running down to the ring. Triple H ballshotted Big Show, twice, to give him the Pedigree, only to see the Undertaker at the aisle way, staring him down. If the WWF pushes their Wrestlemania 17 feud causing this confrontation, it will make sense. Fun ending, although the competitors of the match were pretty much humiliated.

    A big plus of the night came from the announcements of 4 participants in the Royal Rumble. First, Goldust will slap on the make up for a one time deal to enter the Rumble. Good comedy. Then, Val Venis will make his return. Hopefully, they give him back the Porn Star gimmick that made him, and not the RTC or white tights gimmicks. The Godfather returns, hopefully as a one time deal. I can only hear the "ho train" speech a few more times in my life before I go crazy. But the big news was the Rumble return of Mr. Perfect! Good God, let's hope he can iron out a long time deal, because the old man can still go. He'd be great for "dream matches" against current WWF main eventers or top midcarders.

    SMACKDOWN Phat Stats
    Matches: 5 (?!?!)
    Clean Wins: 2
    Screwjobs: 1
    Disqualifications: 0
    No Contests: 2

    LAST WORD: Only 5 matches?!?!?!? That's ridiculous! Too much time wasted on "sports entertainment", and the rest of what's wrong is listed throughout the PDC. I only really liked the Royal Rumble announcements, the Test/Jericho vs. RVD/Rock match minus the ending, Christian/Storm vs. Tazz/Spike, and the chaotic ending at the end. The rest can get flushed down the toilet, for all I care. I'll give this show a generous

    C

    which is a grade based on MY opinion. I'm sure you'll disagree, and in doing so, at least be professional instead of the usual "Tito is full of shit" curse out posts on your favorite message boards, thank you very much.

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    @That's all for today. I hope to be back, this weekend, with a column about whatever comes to mind. Looking through my histories, I don't know if I have any recent ones to pull up. I planned on writing one for every WWF wrestler in December, but work took over all of my time to even do that. Did I just reveal something? Until the next column, just chill..........

    Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

    Mr. Tito 1998 - 2002 Exclusive to LordsofPain.net