Welcome to another gut-wrenching edition of the Phat Daily Column. Today, we'll review Smackdown, as the WWF has gone from SUCK to BLOW on their television shows. Why yes, that was a Spaceballs reference. Hell, maybe we could get another if we put Rikishi's head on backwards, and he could say "why didn't anybody tell me my ass was so big!".
But seriously. Take an honest look at the television shows. The wrestling is bad, either from time restraints, bad match ups, or the feeling that the wrestlers get screwed all the time by the WWF, so why care anymore? Then, we have the McMahons and their egos getting WAY out of control. It's ridiculously evident from last night.
So for today's Smackdown column, we'll do something *special*. We'll review what happened, and then briefly explain it as a flaw of the WWF's. Understand?
You better. On to the PDC.
Funny backstage segment with Lance Storm and Christian. Christian should be the one doing extended talking, and NOT Stephony McMahon. Our first match of the night was Tazz/Spike Dudley versus Lance Storm/Christian. Solid tag match from the four. Tazz looked especially good, in front of his NYC fans. The European champion tapped out cleanly to Tazz, and the Dudleys attacked Spike/Tazz after the match. So are Spike/Tazz dropping the titles to the Dudleys, or will they save them for Billy and Chuck?
Next match was Edge vs. Big Bossman for the Intercontinental Title. Call Bossman "backpack", because Edge had to carry him through the whole match. What gave the Bossman a shot at the IC title was not given, as usual with all title shots. Bad match, thanks to the slow Bossman, and an even more embarrassing ending as Edge relied on a DDT on a nightstick to get the win.
I'm glad the WWF decided to make a match over the horrible "What" situation, especially from the NYC fans who can't stop saying it. Kurt Angle ragged on the NYC fans, and because of their chants, he challenged Austin to a match. Makes sense.
Next match was Chris Jericho/Test versus Rock/Rob Van Dam. Not a bad tag bout overall, although any tag match involving the Rock is getting repetitive. At the beginning of every tag match against Jericho, he always chooses to chase Jericho instead of locking up with his opponent in the ring. It always goes wrong! I disliked the finish, big time. Jericho submitting to the Sharpshooter, again? Please.
We would next see a one on one interview with Vince McMahon and Jim Ross, taped from earlier today. I guess it makes sense because Flair is selling Monday's injury, but Vince went on and on about himself. I understand putting over the angle of who is the best owner, but Vince was really ego-tripping about himself, in real life, instead.
Booker T vs. Rikishi was next. In reality, this COULD have been a decent match, but thanks to the drugs given to the WWF writers, we saw a No Contest ending because Booker T got sick from receiving the Stinkface. We are all getting stinkfaced from this horrible television anymore.
Holy Cow! A Diamond Dallas Page sighting! He's alive! DDP just ragged on Booker T for receiving the Stinkface. It's likely that any of the WWF Good Ol' Boy Network © wrestlers will see something about the segment to keep DDP off television, even longer.
Final match was Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin. Not bad, but it's like these two are exhausted from wrestling each other after last summer's long program with each other. With some wrestlers, you can only just wrestle them so many times within a short period of time. The match ended with Kane, Big Show, and then Triple H running down to the ring. Triple H ballshotted Big Show, twice, to give him the Pedigree, only to see the Undertaker at the aisle way, staring him down. If the WWF pushes their Wrestlemania 17 feud causing this confrontation, it will make sense. Fun ending, although the competitors of the match were pretty much humiliated.
A big plus of the night came from the announcements of 4 participants in the Royal Rumble. First, Goldust will slap on the make up for a one time deal to enter the Rumble. Good comedy. Then, Val Venis will make his return. Hopefully, they give him back the Porn Star gimmick that made him, and not the RTC or white tights gimmicks. The Godfather returns, hopefully as a one time deal. I can only hear the "ho train" speech a few more times in my life before I go crazy. But the big news was the Rumble return of Mr. Perfect! Good God, let's hope he can iron out a long time deal, because the old man can still go. He'd be great for "dream matches" against current WWF main eventers or top midcarders.
SMACKDOWN Phat Stats
Matches: 5 (?!?!)
Clean Wins: 2
No Contests: 2
LAST WORD: Only 5 matches?!?!?!? That's ridiculous! Too much time wasted on "sports entertainment", and the rest of what's wrong is listed throughout the PDC. I only really liked the Royal Rumble announcements, the Test/Jericho vs. RVD/Rock match minus the ending, Christian/Storm vs. Tazz/Spike, and the chaotic ending at the end. The rest can get flushed down the toilet, for all I care. I'll give this show a generous
AOL Instant Messenger: BookerTito - It's recommended that you send your questions or feedback as your first message so that it could be answered, instead of saying "hi", "hey", "what's up" or whatever else. Just get to the point, please, to make it easier since I get drilled with messages.
WRESTLEPALOOZA.com - Audio Show, Columns, News, and more!
KOLTERSHOCK!!! - A site that you shouldn't view with small children present!
X-Entertainment.com - One of the most entertaining pages on the net!
@That's all for today. I hope to be back, this weekend, with a column about whatever comes to mind. Looking through my histories, I don't know if I have any recent ones to pull up. I planned on writing one for every WWF wrestler in December, but work took over all of my time to even do that. Did I just reveal something? Until the next column, just chill..........
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.