Welcome to an all new edition of Mr. Tito's Phat Daily Column. It's Tuesday, and you know what that means.... RAW IS TITO!!!!! I'm sure many of you have "clicked in" or tuned in to see my comments about the Stephanie pregnancy angle. Oh believe me, my opinion will be present for that. That's a guarantee!

Good feedback on Tag Team wrestling. I believe I covered all of the moves this time around, instead of forgetting some like I did for Pro Wrestling. Matt sent along word that Tag Team Wrestling was a classic arcade game that Data East simply converted to the NES. The arcade version was put out before Pro Wrestling, but the NES version was published after Pro Wrestling, which explains its older look on the NES system. I can buy that. Tomorrow, you won't want to miss the review of M.U.S.C.L.E., which is probably the most interesting out of the 1986 games... or at least the most questionable.

And yes, MUSCLE was the popular toy line of the 1980's. I believe the word stands for Millions of Unusual Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere, or something of that nature. They were small pink figures, although they were multicolored later on when the toy's interest began decreasing. I damn near had them all, and I STILL have my collection somewhere in my closet. I also had the ring, to which I ripped out the holders and put down a piece of cardboard to make an actual ring. I'd book my own matches, have my own feuds, and set up my own Pay Per View events when I was little. Whenever you get the chance, check out the MUSCLE Preservation Society for information on these great toys.

Maybe I could do a history of MUSCLE column, since you know, they were wrestling toys. Hmmm... But anyway, the MUSCLE NES review will be tomorrow, time permitting, so you don't want to miss that quality review.

On to the PDC.

RAW is TITO

Funny how we got to see Chyna on a commercial last night for Robot Wars or whatever the hell it's called. Hell, the graphics for the ad even said "former WWF wrestler, Chyna", which made me laugh even harder! Funny how she was dressed EXACTLY like she was as Chyna. Man, her career is going no where. There was a press release where she practically begged for work in Hollywood, and I was reading in the Observer where she was humilated on a talkshow. If she has any braincells left in her head, she'd take a smaller deal with the WWF so that she can at least have an outlet to get spots in Hollywood. She can't ride that Playboy gravy train forever........

We start of RAW, ironically, with Chyna's ex-lover, Triple H. Triple H is PISSED about what Angle did to him on Smackdown. No, he's not roid-raging for those who keep insisting that Triple H is juicing. If the game was juicing, then what nuts would be left to blow the wad in Stephanie for the pregnancy angle? Ooops! We can't talk about that one yet! Angle won't come out, but Booker T will and he challenges the Game to a match.

First match of the night was Triple H vs. Booker T. Damn shame they didn't let this one at least 10 minutes. God, can't we give these two some time to develop a match? They've fought twice now, and it's become meaningless for any future bouts. Kurt Angle caused a DQ finish, and let the Game have it, again. After the match, Triple H went after Angle, only to discover that dirty Angle has set up a No Way Out match for Triple H's #1 contendership for Wrestlemania, thanks to Vince McMahon. Triple H would have to calm down, though, and things weren't looking good as Stephanie was going to make an announcement later. I KNEW that she'd go for the pregnancy angle, right then and there. Too bad I have no way of proving that...

A posedown on Smackdown with the WWF ladies against Chuck & Suck... (Thanks Wrestlepalooza!)... Oh wait, I mean Billy Gunn and Chuck Palumbo. Ugh!!! Hopefully, Stacy and Torrie wear their best stuff to make this segment less painful.

Next match was Rob Van Dam versus Bubba Ray Dudley. Kind of a quick match, as RVD matches have been that way lately. Damn shame, too. Even worse, Goldust revealed that RVD is his new chosen one, and then attacked him afterward. Did Rob Van Dam get caught smoking something he shouldn't have been smoking? What has he done to deserve the humilation as of late? The Goldust gimmick is old, already, and it will continue to get worse, no matter what big face you put him up against.

Tazz/Spike vs. APA vs. Chuck & Suck was next, and Tazz/Spike won after Bradshaw lended a hand after the APA was eliminated. Uh oh, that means Chuck & Suck are going to get their title shot very soon. Damn it, damn it, SON OF A BITCH! Tazz has been on the top of his game lately, too, as he pretty much carried this 3 way tag match. Too bad he's not 5 inches taller.... But folks, Chuck and Billy are going to win the World Tag Titles soon, and there's NOTHING the fans can do to stop this. Despite getting no pops or heat, Chuck & Suck will still get pushed to the moon. I guess this "posedown" will get them their heel heat to give them momentum for the World Titles? Oh please Hall and Nash, come take the Tag Titles away!!!!

Another good segment between Vince McMahon and Ric Flair. I believe that Flair is bringing the best out of Vince McMahon right now, or even vice versa. The big part of this interview was when Vince showed Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and Hulk Hogan on the Titantron, taunting everyone behind the NWO logo. Just awesome effect there that sent chills down my spine. Man, the WWF is doing a swell job of pushing the idea that those 3 are cancers to any wrestling promotion.

Rikishi vs. William Regal was next.... YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWNNNNNNNN!!!!! These two are just boring characters in the WWF right now. Stale indeed. Regal hasn't done much with the Intercontinental title, which makes me wonder why the WWF had a lack of confidence with Edge as champion. Ohhh, Rikishi did a stinkface! Whatever. Go back to 2000, please. Man, I can't wait for Chris Benoit to return to make the midcard decent again. Same with Rhyno.

I like how the WWF brought back Diamond Dallas Page's crowd involvement. Will he be flown into Los Angeles from New York to defend his European title on Smackdown?

Nice touch by having the Rock briefly mention the NWO in his speech....

And now, the moment you've all waited for.......... Stephanie McMahon came to the ring, stating that she had an announcement. For this announcement, she needed to bring out Triple H. At first, she addressed the "marriage problems", and suggested that they should renew their wedding vows next Monday Night. Triple H took offense to this, yelling at Stephony for always addressing McMahon problems in public. Then, it happened. Yes, SHIT happened. Stephanie blurted out that she was PREGNANT with the Game's baby. At first, Triple H was shocked, and then he hugged Stephanie, pretty much turning heel in the process. I don't know if he officially turned there, but who will cheer Triple H for loving Stephanie again?

Leave it to one of the headwriters of the booking committee to once again throw a spotlight on herself by going for a pregnancy angle. It's just ridiculous how much Stephanie loves herself that she'll act pregnant for attention on a WRESTLING show. Leave it to her to give wrestling that stupid soap opera appeal. Now, we'll have to endure weeks of her begging for sympathy because she's pregnant. I wonder if she had Triple H nut in her for the last few times they made love to make the angle believeable? Hey, she got breast implants for her character, so don't put it past her to get pregnant for her own spotlight in the WWF.

The storyline has 4.... count them, 4 possibilities:

  • She's lying To win back her husband's love, she says she's pregnant. It would "put her over" as an evil McMahon, again. I'd put money on this one.
  • Kurt Angle knocked her up The two have had chemistry in the past, and to put loads of heat on the No Way Out match, Angle could turn out to be the father. That, or he could lie about being the father....
  • Chris Jericho is the father Why not really hype Wrestlemania up that way? Although Jericho and Stephanie have been feuding, they haven't ripped on each other for a long time now. Maybe some secret screwing behind Triple H's back?
  • She won't have that baby Like many soap operas, Stephanie might accidentally fall and miscarry the baby. Didn't this occur to Terri one time? Well, whatever, but the WWF could go the sick Russo route and have Jericho or Angle attack her or have someone bump her off the ring to end the pregnancy.
  • OR, Triple H could be the father. But hey, that would involve LONG TERM PLANNING, and the WWF is on a booking-on-the-fly basis right now. I wouldn't doubt that they'll claim that Stephanie is 4 months along on her pregnancy right now. Wouldn't doubt it. I just don't like the fact that Stephanie will once again thrust herself onto television more than any of the wrestlers under contract. The angle, itself, has a lot of intrigue to it, as look... it has me writing extra on the possibilities of it, but the fact remains: we'll be seeing even more Stephanie McMahon on television.

    Next match was for the Women's title, Jazz versus Trish Stratus. I don't honestly see where all of these "wrestling experts" are nutting over how "great" Jazz has been to the Women's division. If anything has improved, it's Trish's ability to just take a beating in the ring. She lets Jazz beat the living shit out of her, inside the squared circle. Jazz is STILL a virtual unknown to most WWF fans. Jazz won the match, to no pop by winning a title. The creative team needs to do something, and fast!

    Next, it was our Main Event... Steve Austin and the Rock versus Undertaker and Chris Jericho. I still don't see how the Rock can team up with both Triple H and Steve Austin on a regular basis without remembering the past. Simply amazing. Oh no, the Rock and the Game never feuded before... Oh no, Austin and the Rock have never had run ins together, not to mention the Survivor Series Alliance vs. WWF match. Pretty good tag match, with 3 of the top WWF wrestlers pretty much carrying the match. Man, the Undertaker vs. the Rock match up at No Way Out is going to be ackward. WOW @ the pin, again, from Jericho over the Rock.

    RAW Phat Stats
    Matches: 6
    Clean Wins: 2
    Screwjobs: 2
    Disqualifications: 2
    No Contests: 0

    LAST WORD: Solid edition of RAW, although I found a few parts of it troubling. Namely Chuck & Suck and Stephanie's spotlight hogging. Goldust, too. Other than that, very nice....

    B+

    (B plus) for this week's show. Man, No Way Out and Wrestlemania are getting much better storylines to work with than the previous Pay Per Views. By far!

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    @That's all for today. I'll be back tomorrow with an NES review of the wrestling game MUSCLE, along with some delicious Daily Apples. Until then, why not chill?

    Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

    Mr. Tito 1998 - 2002 Exclusive to LoP/WH