Welcome to an all new edition of the Phat Daily Column. HOLY SHIT, a Thursday column! Yes, miracles can happen. Today, we'll talk about the latest wrestling issues and then review WWF Steel Cage Challenge for the NES. I'll warn you that I'm in a rather foul mood from an annoying morning of classes, so if I drop a few f-bombs or if I appear extra aggressive, don't way you weren't warned ahead of time.
A couple X-Box marks hopped all over me for giving RAW a "B+". That's pathetic. Since when is a B+ a bad grade? Huh? A lot of people must be drinking Bill Gates's Koolaid, because a few of you took the review WAY too seriously. A B-fucking-plus, people. In college, you appreciate grades like that. Just put it this way... if the game was SOOO good, then why can you buy it everywhere? Many of the PSX or N64 wrestling games sold out the second they were put on the shelves. Get real.
Anyway, on to the PDC.
And then we have X-Pac coming back, who will clearly be a member of the NWO sometime soon. What about his ego? It was bad before his neck injury, so what says he won't become a showboat in front of his close clique buddies? It will most certainly happen. And you know what I can't wait for? Eric Bischoff to arrive in the WWF. Oh man, he and X-Pac have lots of heat with each other, which in my opinion, can't be considered "water under the bridge". Same goes for Steve Austin, who also hates Eric Bischoff for firing him.
-I'm certainly glad that the WWF dropped the William Regal vs. Edge feud. It was becoming torture to watch. Seriously. Now on a different note, what the hell was up with the booking Monday night for the Intercontinental title contendership for Wrestlemania? It made no sense to put all 3 guys into that ring, and exclude Edge. Big Show and Storm were NOT deserving of the shot, as they haven't been in the position to earn a spot to be a contender yet. Big Show was absent on television lately, and Storm has just been jobbing on tag matches. Looks like the Hulk Hogan influence for the Big Show may already be in place? If the WWF wants to do their fans a favor, too, then they should allow Rob Van Dam to win the IC title at Wrestlemania.
-I'm glad that Mtv Heat is turning back into an arena show. Heat just wasn't catching on with the stupid boy-band loving Mtv crowd, so why not try to bring back the WWF crowd? Giving more attention to the matches is definitely a good thing. My question is this: what happens to Mtv Heat when the split happens? Does the "Smackdown" division of the WWF get that timeslot since Heat is taped on Tuesdays? Inaccuracies like this must be addressed by the WWF. Maybe turn Heat into the Cruiserweight show?
-On Smackdown tonight, we'll probably see more feuding with the NWO and Stone Cold. Since the New World Order got the best of Austin on RAW, it's likely that Austin will pound all 3 wrestlers on Smackdown. Nothing like letting your top face embarrass your top heel stable.
Ric Flair will probably be on RAW to address the situation with the Undertaker, who ambushed Arn Anderson on RAW. This has probably been the best Undertaker angle since his feud with Shawn Michaels in 1997, over 4 years ago. Too bad the match won't be like HBK vs. Taker, but we'll excuse that, since Flair over the hill in so many ways. The nostalgia of the feud is very attention getting.
In some matches, we'll see Stacy Kiebler/Dudleys vs. Hardys/Lita. Wasn't this supposed to be a Wrestlemania match? Could still be... I can remember the WWF doing this match several times before. Anyone care to bet that the Dudleys 3D Lita? (I haven't looked at the spoilers) The Big Slow will go one on one with William Regal. Who the hell wants to see that match? In an interesting tag match, however, Kane and Triple H will take on Chris Jericho and Kurt Angle. That should be a quality match. And finally, Goldust will take on Maven for the Hardcore title. Oh lord, I have a bad feeling about that match.
The graphics are horrible in this game! The wrestlers are small and very choppy. The wrestlers actually look better in the 1989 and 1990 installments, which is very, very sad. The moves don't look as believeable as they do in Wrestlemania Challenge, and everything from the menus to the pictures in the profiles looks sad.
Don't get me started on the sound. You can't do a move in this game without the crowd sound effect going crazy on you. The themes for the wrestlers are hard to recognize too, although they are actually much clearer than the themes in King of the Ring. Graphics and sound getting worse as the years go by? Believe it.
As for the gaming modes... In this game, you have better options for 2 player action, as 2 players can take on the computer instead of each other. You may play either tag team wrestling, singles wrestling, or a Cage match bout. The cage match was a risk admired by LJN for taking, as the basic idea of escaping the cage is here. It's kind of half-assed, though, but given the NES technology, it's sort of acceptable. For example, if you knock your opponent out, that's the only time you can climb the cage. If your opponent wakes up from his knock out while you're climbing the cage, you must come down. It's weird, but once you pound your opponent enough, climbing the cage is easy for the win.
You have a fair amount of wrestlers to choose from. I don't have the game in front of me right now, so I can't list them, but off the top of my head, you can play as Jake Roberts, the Undertaker, Bret Hart, Hulk Hogan, Million Dollar Man, and Sid Justice (or Psycho Sid). There are a few more, which is the advantage of the WWF and WCW games: good selections of the rosters of that time.
The gameplay is horrid though. The grapple system sucks, as usual, and it somewhat plays just like Wrestlemania challenge. NO ATTEMPT TO MAKE CONTROL EASIER! The computer intelligence is better in this game, instead of mindlessly wondering around the ring like the computer did in Wrestlemania and Wrestlemania challenge. But the computer is still easy to pound on.
LAST WORD: Yuck! Who made this crap? When presenting good ideas in a new game, the WWF should have thought to have better graphics than presented here. Same with the horrid sound. Gameplay is pathetic in this game, but the improved 2 player modes and the attempt at a Cage match gives a
Next Review: This Monday, WWF King of the Ring
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WRESTLEPALOOZA.com - Audio Show, Columns, News, and more!
KOLTERSHOCK!!! - A site that you shouldn't view with small children present!
X-Entertainment.com - One of the most entertaining pages on the net!
@That's all for today. I shall be back, tomorrow, with a FULL Smackdown review. I have no classes tomorrow, thank God, so I hope to be in better spirits when writing the PDC. Until then, just chill!
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading daily.