Ah, it's Tuesday, the REAL start of the boring week for myself. Last night, two forces collided, meaning that RAW and Nitro tried to put on their best shows in competition. Yes, even though WCW is lightyears behind, they are still trying to "compete" with the WWF. How did each show do? We'll find out.

In yesterday's column, I used the line "like the back of a Volkswagon" in a parody. Yes, that was from the movie Mallrats, and some of you punks yelled at me for stealing it. You see, I wasn't trying to steal it. It was more of a tribute to those who have seen the movie, and they'd get a cheap laugh out of it. It's kind of like what Russo was doing in WCW, where he'd make references on shows to the "smart fans". I was playing to the "Kevin Smith fans", mmmk?

Also on yesterday's column, I didn't get a single negative email about WWF Volume 5. Everyone and their mother agreed that it was a poor theme CD, and a joke of a hype for the Rock's so-called future singing career. In fact, once the Rock's CD comes out, I'm boycotting it. The "Pie" song absolutely sucks, and something better should have been there.

I suggested that the WWF should have put Austin's Disturbed theme, Dudleys, Hardys, Radicals, or Hollys' theme on it, instead of the stupid K-Kwik theme, the repeated Kane theme, and a few others. Some of you informed me that the themes I listed above weren't the WWF's to own. Well, if the WWF wanted to sell more theme CDs with GREAT superstar music, then they should pay the extra dollar to sell more CDs. I'm pretty sure that if a fan saw the Hardy Boys and the Dudley Boyz themes on the CD, they'd be more likely to buy the damn thing instead of when it has Kane's theme or K-Kwik's theme on it. I guess Austin's Disturbed theme will be on the rock or metal CD the WWF might release in the future.

Ahhhh, whatever! On to the PDC.

NITRO

You know what cracks me up? Some of the best Superbrawl workers, Palumbo/O'Haire, Stasiak/Jindrak, and the Jung Dragons were set aside on Nitro for a damn Rick Steiner vs. Lash Laroux match. That match should be a Chunder match, and NOT a top show match. What a joke.

WCW did their own little funeral thing for Kevin Nash, as I thank the lord it was around 20 minutes and not 40 minutes like the Goldberg one was. Obviously, nobody in WCW got the memo about that "sports entertainment" only works in the WWF. More "wrestling" fans watch WCW, so let's see some matches fellas. (Note: I said "wrestling" fans, meaning those who like the actual matches instead of the interviews or angle segments)

I'm LOVING the Cruiserweight Tag Title decision. Finally, the Jung Dragons might get some respect for once in their lives! Good old Shannon Moore and Evan Karagias found their love for being a Boyband/tag team again. They need to get Tank Abbott back as well, because it's a cheap laugh to see an Ultimate fighter acting so silly.

Brian Clarke vs. Mike Awesome was kind of lame, but it was a fight for the fans! Why? I've read a few reports that Awesome and Clarke are total bastards when it comes to fanfare, meaning that if you ask for an autograph, REALLY expect to be turned down in a very rude manner. Mike Awesome, by the way, isn't quite the wrestler he once was. I guess getting flushed down the toilet on certain gimmicks hurts once in a while.

Watching Animal trying to work with today's wrestlers makes me cringe, and it's even worse when you hear rumors that Hawk MIGHT be coming back. Now I loved the Road Warriors, but that was in the 1980s and 1990s. This is 2000, where both members of LoD are getting up there. It would be kinda cool to see Kronik face Hawk and Animal though, I'll give it that. Konnan and Kidman, if you haven't heard, teamed up under a special name last night: Unmotivated, but Disgruntled Team 2001

I don't know what it is, but the fans LOVE the Cat. I keep bitching about the HORRIBLE matches Cat puts on, but the fans keep cheering. I can't say anyting about that. Looks like Kanyon will have to fight Cat at the Pay Per View. At least the crowd will be behind it.

Oh no!!! My hero Lash Laroux is injured!!! Please. WCW hasn't done anything for him to make me even think of caring for an injury angle. What's even funnier is that there are multiple reports of WCW younger wrestlers complaining about this HUGE push Rick Steiner keeps getting. Wow, they realize, too, how phony it is for someone who took a lot of time off to come back once his hunting buddy (Eric Bischoff) returned.

FINGER OF SHAME for jobbing Lance Storm to Hugh Morris. SCREW YOU WCW FOR NOT RESPECTING LANCE STORM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excuse me. Jeff Jarrett proves that he's a GREAT sports entertainer by imitating Dusty Rhodes last night. That was classic!!! Too bad Jarrett has also been down the toilet lately, as he was once a contender around this time last year. His imitation, tonight, is up there with his imitation of Sting.

Good main event with Diamond Dallas Page and Kanyon. I'm personally happy to see both of those two on the active WCW roster again because they both can actually work a match.

RETURNING Nitro Phat Stats

Matches: 7
Clean Wins: 3
Screwjobs: 3
Disqualifications: 1
No Contests: 0

Last Word: I can't believe the blind WCW bookers about Lance Storm. He generates great heat with the mic and can carry a match, possibly better than anyone in WCW. But that's overlooked, and WCW seems to be overlooking quite a lot with Bischoff back. Rick Steiner is getting pushed to the moon, and rejects like Hulk Hogan and Kevin Nash will rule the federation, again, in a few months. At least the Cruiserweight division will really improve with the new Tag Titles, and also for the fact that DDP and Kanyon will help to provide matches in WCW. I'll give it a very generous

B-

but the bullshit with Lance Storm is just garbage. Hugh Morris NEVER got any crowd cheers as his current gimmick, or as stupid General Rection. Lance Storm, on the other hand, can make most wrestlers look good and is good on the mic. But it's all overlooked, and I don't quite understand why. Maybe WCW is discriminating against Canadians? They should join the suit. Just look at the treatment of Chris Benoit, Bret Hart, and Chris Jericho over the years. Total lack of respect for great Canadian talent. I predict a 2.0 for the second hour.

RAW is WAR

I really hope that the Undertaker's dominance in the matches, lately, shows that the team of Undertaker/Kane will finally put someone else over. Dudleys and Edge/Christian will be in the WWF for years, with Undertaker being very close to his retirement.

Lita got the big win over Dean Malenko, thanks to the help of Matt Hardy. After the match, Matt tried to play Kissyface with Lita, but ran out of the ring apologizing. Then, Lita chased him down and checked his tonsils! I'm sure that will fuel more rumors of a real life relationship between the two, which have been circulating throughout the internet lately. That kiss looked pretty passionate if you ask me. I don't think Dean Malenko is down and out of this feud yet, for Matt Hardy will probably have to chase the Lightweight title. Hey, that's fine with me! Good booking here.

Let's see here... will this be a 4 Way dance now, since Chris Benoit attacked Chris Jericho after the Xpac vs. Eddie Guerrero match? Hmmmm.... I don't know, but what I do know is that we still don't have an official match for the IC title yet! ARGH!! This booking on the fly, at times, is really disturbing me.

I wasn't two thrilled with two things tonight on RAW.

1) The Right to Nudity/APA segments. I mean come on, they were in a strip club? That's kind of low of the WWF, especially when the Kat was dancing with that other dancer. Sure, it was nice for the older crowd, but that's something that would stop parents from letting their kids stay up on Monday Nights.

2) The segment where Stephanie took the stunner from Steve Austin was just sick and unnecessary. I mean come on, what kind of example does the WWF want to set here? If there is a girl or lady giving you a hard time, are you supposed to harm her for it? NO, but that's what the WWF is doing.

The WWF needs to realize that a nice proportion of their audience are children. It's violent or adult content that the Parents Television Council thrives on, and I'm sure we'll see some nice columns getting posted on their stupid site (don't ask for the address please), and I'm sure they'll push harder to influence sponsors to leave WWF programming.

FINGER OF SHAME to the WWF for jobbing the Hardy Boyz to Rikishi/Haku. Unless there is a glorified rematch between these two teams, it's total garbage. NOBODY cheers for Rikishi and Haku, but they SCREAM for the Hardy Boys. DUH!!!!

The Hardcore match wasn't all bad, but I have one problem: ditch the fire extinguishers! I remember a time when those spots were pretty funny to watch. Now, it's like "oh, I've seen that before and I don't care".

King vs. Steven Richards?!?! I like how Jerry Lawler admits that the Kat is his wife at times, but then for this angle, he acts like she's someone else. Come on... At least the Right To Censor has a better purpose in wrestling, and that is to make Steven Richards the main focus of the group. Before, it was all about the boring wrestlers of Val Venis, Goodfather, and Bull Buchanan. But now, it's Ivory and Steven Richards. Hey, didn't Jim Ross say that the WWF will be making roster cuts soon?

I hated the main event. Not because of the wrestling, but that it was easy to choose who would job in the match. Chris Benoit, who doesn't have much to do with either wrestlers at No Way Out, was the odd man out. Why watch when you know the outcome? Think, WWF, think.

RAW Phat Stats

Matches: 6
Screwjobs: 1
Disqualification: 0
No Contests: 2

LAST WORD: This show had a bunch of matches or segments that were just as insulting as Nitro was, so we'll give it the same grade with a

B-

Some angles were good, but some were bad. I just hope that future shows will clean the results of last night up. I predict a 4.7 in the first hour.

Overall, some strong positives on both shows, but a handful of negatives as well.

You know the MONKEY that I keep referring to about stupid plugs at the bottom of posts? Well, he finally said something very intelligent. I guess he wasn't able to do RAW last night, so he grabbed the best RAW results he could find out there. The RAW results were Nick Ponton's, and Monkey credited Nick fully for it. I may like to nail the Monkey on occasion, but it was a good thing of him on the credit. But just remember, Nick Ponton is the BEST RAW reporter on the net, and nobody comes close.

NEWS ORGY: I have decided to step down from working at NEWS ORGY, my alternative site which is a side project mainly doing News Parody. With a lot of internet responsibilities already, it was beginning to drain me. Especially since I was stepping up, lately, on graphics and posts for the site to make it better. It's funny, because with News Orgy, I didn't have much time to enjoy the internet. I was always trying to find posts or new stuff to make it better. But with writing the PDC, covering XFL news now, still getting hammered with Emails, various LoP stuff, and not to mention a college schedule with a lot of busy work, the added strain to do News Orgy burned me out badly. Therefore, I'm stepping down from my side project so that I could free up some more time, and even put more time into the PDC. While at the NEWS ORGY, I got a little better at Image making, like...

This lovely Bill Clinton vs. Al Gore image I made. I'll try to do lovely parody images, like that, for wrestling when I can. That picture, but the way, was depicting the rumored quarrel between Al Gore and Bill Clinton after the election, blaming each other for not keeping the Democrats in the White House.

For now, my great friend Jaymz is keeping the Orgy alive. In fact, he's looking for new writers or possibly an additional Webmaster to keep the site up. So for information on how to write or work at NEWS ORGY, please Click Here if interested. The site gets around 2,000 or more hits a day, which isn't too bad for being on Tripod.

Wrestle Palooza Audio Show

LoP T-Shirts: NEW STUFF IN STOCK! Mouse Pads, Sweat Shirts, Coffee Mugs, more T-Shirts, Baby Doll shirts, and more! Also, you can now order via Credit Card!

@That's all for this lovely editions. Just remember that opinions are just opinions, and they are not to be considered as fact. Now can you dig that?

Phat Pharm: NEW "Unspoken Word" and "Refusing to Job" to READ!! CLICK HERE!!!

Take Care, and Thanks a Million for Reading.

Mr. Tito 1998 - 2001 Exclusive to LordsofPain.net


A Minnesota House panel is proposing a new bill which would limit or stop top state officials on taking money from outside activities. This bill, if passed, would take effect in 2003, which is the year Ventura's term ends. As Governor, he was paid nicely by the WWF to be a referee at Summerslam 2 years ago, and now he's an XFL commentator. The XFL job is paying him a reported $1.5 Million salary. (Yahoo)

The UPN XFL game scored a 2.0 in the overnight markets ratings, which should translate into something between 1.0-2.0 or maybe even lower. (WrestlingObserver.com)

The final ratings for both the NBC and UPN shows should be up later today, and I'll try to report them in tomorrow's Gazette. Not much other XFL news going on, other than what I reported here.