Welcome to another splendid edition of the Phat Daily Column. Today, we had LOTS to discuss as it's not only Monday Night Hype day, but it's also the day I will give my Bill Goldberg book review! In fact, there is even more than that to discuss. Why waste any more time with this intro? On to the PDC!

Scott Hall arrested Again!

Chalk up 3 for the amount of times Drunken Scott Hall has been arrested since he was fired from WCW. That's sad, especially since it's been about 2 months since his firing. What a waste of wrestling talent. If Hall would actually care, he'd be easily on top of the wrestling world. The man has the look, the mic skills, and the in-ring ability to be a great champion. But NOOOOOOOOO! Dumbass has to blow it on drugs, alcohol, and just stupid violations of the law.

Since he was fired from WCW, Hall has been arrested for keying a Limo, a DUI, and reportedly kicking a door of a cab when he was unable to pay for his ride(since he couldn't drive! haha). And the funny thing is that Hall could have easily avoided all 3 things. He just doesn't have any control over himself or his life. To make the comparison, like about a million columnists have done before me, Scott Hall is the Robert Downey Jr. of wrestling. He seems to always have a job in wrestling no matter how many trips to rehab he takes, and he's never able to make the best out of a rehab trip.

Simply pathetic and sick.

WWF

-Sunday Night Heat-

I caught just a few portions of Heat last night, and the main segment I saw was when Chris Benoit came out to talk. Good lord, the audio on that was horrible! The WWF is trying so hard to get Benoit on the mic, and if he ever gets that right, he'll prove himself to be the best talent ever! "I Act Like I'm One" Billy Gunn came down to talk crap back to Benoit, and they'll probably wrestle at Survivor Series. Fine, make Chris Benoit the IC champion. At least he'll have a title to defend with pride. Of course, this is the WWF, where Gunn always gets pushed to the moon, so Benoit, the most talented wrestler will have to put over Gunn, the most overrated wrestler. Yipee!

Molly Holly rules the world! She's much more talented and interesting than those other Hollys.

The WWF better put the Rock on EVERY week if they want any kind of ratings consistantly. I can't wait to see how Heat did when the ratings do come out tomorrow.

-RAW Hype-

After what happened Smackdown, Vince McMahon is most likely to be in the house to confront Triple H about the attack. Then, Vince will shockingly add himself to the Hell in the Cell match, where he'll win the title. Ok, I'm only joking there. But Vince only shows up on WWF programming when he, the head cheese of the WWF, feels the need to kickstart the ratings. So when he's back, we'll see a lot more interviews and wasted time. Just lovely.

Since the 6 men(Rikishi, Rock, Angle, Undertaker, Triple H, and Austin) can't touch each other, you can expect the WWF to half-ass book either a six man match with Angle/Rikishi/Triple H vs. Austin/Rock/Undertaker, or a similar situation without Triple H and Austin or so to rest them up. It's typical RAW before the Pay Per View. They could also screwball us on making a one on one match, or a series of one on one matches to "wet our appetites. Man, I lost mine a while ago....

Since this is the RAW before the Pay Per View and there is hardly any signed matches yet really, expect the WWF to create "insta-feuds". Oh wait, none of the feuds ended from the last Pay Per View, so we don't have to worry about that. Expect more out of "Watching Me Wrestle Isn't Fun" Billy Gunn and the man who will carry him to a decent match at Armageddon, Chris Benoit. It's sickening how the Radicalz have to carry Gunn in every match. That's your Intercontinental champ folks....

All I can say is that I know the WWF had a shorter gap in between Pay Per Views this time, but come on.... A little preparation can go a long way!

ECW

I went 3-2, which is 60% of the predictions, but nothing to brag about for the Massacre on 34th Street Pay Per View last night. ECW, even less prepared than the WWF, slopped together a card because they are still uncertain who will jump to other companies in this money crisis.

Steve Corino is staying put in ECW, as I guess we can add him to the list of Super Crazy, Tajiri, Justin Credible, and Rhino for the guys who will stay no matter what. I was unaware of Corino's feelings on this matter, and I predicted Credible to win since he's going no where.

C.W. Anderson gets the big win against Tommy Dreamer tonight. You gotta hand it to Dreamer, as he WANTS this. Out of anybody in any federation, Dreamer is the biggest company man of them all. After sticking around ECW longer than anybody, Dreamer won the title, but he wanted to drop it immediately. Now, he told Heyman that he no longer wants to be in any title pictures, and that he wants to put over other talent.

Doring and Roadkill finally won the titles, after screwed out of them several times. I guess it finally comes when Heyman wants them to stay. Good work guys, as I wonder if it means that the FBI is on their way out too? The FBI, besides Sal, is too small for any other feds, but damn, those two can take the biggest beating.

Oh, and Scott Hall just wasn't there. Yes, even ECW can see what a dirtbag Scott Hall truly is. Sad thing is that ECW took the shortest time to figure that out, eh WCW and WWF?

WCW

By the way, S.O.L. means Shit Out of Luck for those of you who keep asking.

-Nitro Hype-

Firstly, Elix Skipper is going after Crowbar to win the Hardcore title, and rename it Saskatchewan Hardcore Invitational Title(get it?? SHIT?? Like the title, SHIT?? GET IT??). I guess this will be a decent match, although it won't be given proper time or energy to make it really explode. I'm thinking that the Cat will run down for this one.

Bill Goldberg is going to fight Norman Smiley. Oh yeah, like I REALLY want to see that. See, this is the problem with WCW. Why would anybody want to see Goldberg squash someone? Give him someone who will at least put up 5 minutes worth of a match. Geesh! And WCW wonders why he isn't a draw these days.........

The Insiders, Diamond Dallas Page and Kevin Nash, will defend their titles. My guess is that they will fight the Perfect Event, or they will be forced to wrestle both the Perfect Event and Jindrak/O'Haire. Maybe even the Boogie Knights to really smell the ratings.

Jeff Jarrett is facing Konnan tonight. Oh man! This could be a decent match, just as long as Konnan feels like wrestling in top form. I'd like to see a rematch with Rey-Rey though, because that was an interesting match last week. I'll have to put Rey Mysterio in the unappreciated talent section now.

For the Main Event.... it's General Rection against Scott Steiner. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Ahem. Excuse me. I guess I could see this as a match lower down the card, but the main event? God. I bet you that everyone in the building will actually pop when Steiner hits moves, and be silent for Rection. You watch!

According to some kind of source on WCW.com, it's claimed that Sid's demeanor has "drastically changed" since we last saw him. Oh, so he had a rough season in Softball?

By the way, WCW plans on giving us a LIVE interview with General Rection on Nitro about the Torrie Wilson incident, where she was accidentally squashed on Thunder. Why doesn't WCW just straight up say that Torrie was "injured" because she was making too much money to come out once a night with the Franchise? How hard is that?

Mike Sanders has had meetings, behind closed doors, about something he may or may not do tonight on Nitro. I just love this hype on WCW.com, as it gives me a chance to laugh very hard at the future disappointments. Hopefully, it's something that gives Ric Flair a medical release so that he can wrestle again, and wrestle Sanders at the next PPV, which is Starrcade. I'd LOVE to see Flair carry Sanders to a great match.

Urban Wrestling Alliance

Yes, this is a new fed introduced in the PDC, as I watched this quality federation late last night when I got home. It was on my local UPN, so I don't know if you get this or not. The UBA or Urban Wrestling Alliance is a wrestling federation that mixes hip hop and professional wrestling into one. Yes, after watching ICP and No Limit fail badly at it, some smart guy decided to make a complete federation about it.

Get this for the layout: You have some D.J. on the turntables, just right beside the entrance way. He plays their entrance music, which is nothing but remixed rap music, and announces who comes out. Hey, that's a way to cut costs. Also, this show is FILLED with noise machines. Yes, those are the devices that make crowd noises. This fed barely had a crowd here, as their stands were more blacked out than WCW's! This federation must have went to a local strip club, and "bought" their audience. Seriously, when is the last time you saw hoochie-mamas at a wrestling event? To prove my point, the camera was on them the whole time, and NOT on anyone else in the crowd. Oh wait, was there anybody else there? Also, the announcers were soooo bad. One guy tried to act like the guy who does the Rock N Jock games, while the other acted like a gangsta.... and was very bad at it.

The production for this show, oddly enough, was actually excellent! Camera views, lighting, and so forth made WCW look bad, and especially ECW. The real downfall, however, is the vast roster of wrestlers. These guys are just big oafs, who are too slow to make it anywhere, but this fed signed them. I swear, I saw a million bodyslams, forearms to the back, and weak irish-whip moves all night long! The only decent match of the night was a decent talent named Estrada(sp?) against a big thug named Bison(not M. Bison from the classic Street Fighter 2 games). Estrada or whatever carried the big guy to a decent match, bumping everywhere for him like Billy Kidman did for Hulk Hogan.

Who knows, maybe I'll catch this quality federation next week. Maybe I'll even recap it for a good laugh?

Mr. Tito's Phat Book Review

Besides the two little book reviews I did the other day with Mick's X-Mas Chaos and the WCW Ultimate Guide, I haven't reviewed a novel in a long time. I was supposed to review Pure Dynamite, the Dynamite Kid biography, but shipping problems occurred, so that order was eventually cancelled. So with the money I paid up for that biography, I bought the Bill Goldberg biography since I wanted it anyway. That's how we are here today.

Bill Goldberg: I'm Next - The Strange Journey of America's Most Unlikely Superhero

Now just reading that title gives you a very bad impression, even before you open the book. Bill Goldberg is considered to be out for himself, and himself only. So by declaring yourself "America's Most Unlikely Superhero", that's a big claim, especially since you are a wrestler. But if you read on in this book, you could make that claim to the title. But based on the reports we've all heard about Goldberg, it sort of starts you off bad when reading this book.

The writers are Bill Goldberg and his brother Steve Goldberg. Also, he father Jed Goldberg writes a chapter, and there are many quotes from various wrestlers, football players, or anyone else included. The book was quite easy to read, with the nice formatting and clearly explained stories. That's a big plus for those of you who think you are too young to read this bad boy.

I found the time frame of this book to be rather odd. First, it goes from the end of his NFL career to the famous window incident, where he put his hand through the window of an NWO limo, and then it goes to his early childhood up until where the beginning of the book starts! Then, it goes from the window incident to what is going on today! Very strange way of organizing the book if you personally ask me. I guess Goldberg wanted to give the 'wrestling' fans what they wanted first, and then have them crave more while reading the football part, and then reading the end with his most recent wrestling stuff.

The thing I enjoyed most about this book was its honesty. Bill told you straight up that he doesn't know that much about wrestling, nor is he exactly the best one to carry the match. He's also very honest about his opinions towards others, and I like that sort of thing. From Bischoff, to Scott Hall, and to Vince Russo, he tells you straight up about himself. He even tells you that he had no real idea how to play a heel when Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff turned him this past summer. Why would he be putting himself over there? He isn't.

However, Goldberg did mention the famous Chad Fortune dark match loss, but he did NOT discuss his first ever Television appearance. No, it wasn't his match with Hugh Morris, it was with Roddy Piper. Remember in the Fall of 1997, when Piper held those tryout matches to see who would fill his War Games team? Well, he had two thugs run down, and then he had some karate guy and a boxwer who made the team. One of the two thugs was indeed Bill Goldberg, and it's very strange that he totally ignores that. That's not cool at all.

His loss to Chad Fortune was just before he went on Nitro to defeat Hugh Morris(or General Rection today). It was on a Saturday Night(The Mothership!!!!!), and it was a dark match. He goes into detail here, how WCW did it to test his ass. By the way, it's a shame that Chad Fortune was an underrated talent by the way. That man had size, and with the proper gimmick and attitude, he could have gone somewhere. Of course, coming up with that gimmick and attitude is the problem in WCW.....

I liked how Goldberg discussed creating Goldberg the wrestler. From the tattoo to the training, he was assembled into a superstar. It takes a lot of work going from years of football to what he is today, especially since Goldberg did it at a later age than the Rock, who turned into a wrestler just after a few years in the Canadian football league. He explains how he got his moves. I love the part with Dean Malenko and the Jackhammer. That's funny.

The football stuff was OK I guess, as all of the coaches said he had the heart, but that injuries and his size kept him back from really being huge in football. Instead, he converted his energy to wrestling.

Goldberg talks about his life growing up, with his brothers and sisters, and that was a good read. It seems like Goldberg had a nice life growing up, if you ask me. Goldberg mentions his girlfriend Lisa several times, but he never includes any stories about her or with her, nor does he truly explain how he met her. Well, I guess that's his personal life, and it's his book, so why worry? It is his autobiography you know...

I LOVED the Scott Hall comments! He straight up shoots on what an idiot Hall is. Yes, I agree with ya there Bill. With Bischoff, he said that he never really liked the man, and he gives a few reasons why. With Russo, he just doesn't agree with his crash TV format. That's why he gets mad at Russo, and refuses to do any of the disturbing crap that he does. He says that straight up in his book, as that's a great explanation to why Goldberg isn't a so-called "team player" when Russo is around.

Other stuff with wrestling... he discusses his two title wins against Raven and Hulk Hogan. Oh by the way, Hogan wasn't passing the torch, just letting Goldberg borrow it for a little big. You see, Hogan agreed to drop the World Title to Goldberg if and only if Hogan would be the first man to defeat Goldberg for that title. Odd how that wasn't mentioned. The Hogan and Goldberg rematch was supposed to happen at Starrcade, but Hulk Hogan oddly retired before that, and Nash booked himself in Hogan's place. By the way, Goldberg says a few things about that first loss, even though he says he's buddies with Nash.

Goldberg goes in great detail about his help with children or other causes too. That's what makes him the superhero, as he's one of the best in the business with this!

Oh yeah, Lex Luger is mentioned in this book for his gym that sort of started Goldberg into wrestling, so it's nice of Luger to lie about it in the angles.

LAST WORD: Overall, I found this to be a pretty good read. Some things, especially the Piper thing, were left out, but Piper is an idiot anyway, so why include him? I think that the streak could have been explained more in detail, as we sort of rushed until we got to the loss at Starrcade 1998. You could argue about Goldberg's ego in the Superbowl chapter, but I found it rather funny. Besides, his brother Steve wrote that section... But anyway, I liked the book, so I'll give it a fabulous

B+

for an overall good read. Hey, at least Bill didn't get into character for his final chapters, like some other wrestlers do in their books........ I guess you could say that Goldberg didn't live much of a life enough to write a biography like Mick Foley or DDP. You could say that.

Book Suggestions

Ok, many of you want me to do "Christmas Ideas" in all of my columns, so today, we'll start! We'll go over the FOUR novel type biographies that I've read about wrestlers. I've read Mick Foley's, Rock's, DDP's, and now Bill Goldberg's. I am going to rank them, along with giving you my grade then, and sort of discuss them briefly.

4. The Rock Says....... by the Rock: This one is a great read until he goes into total character. Unless you totally get off on everytime that the Rock comes out to wrestle, you might hate it like I did at the end. Otherwise, if you have spare change lying around and you want to read up and until the Rock became the "Rock", then go for it I guess? I gave it a generous C+ at the time just because the reading before he was in character was excellent. Maybe if the Rock waited a while longer to write this, and then ditching the "in character" mode, it would have been much better.

3. I'm Next: The Strange Journey of America's Most Unlikely Superhero by Bill Goldberg: A good read overall, although some might take it the wrong way. Very honest book, although some things were left out. Same problem with the Rock's book in that he has a shorter time frame than others. It's still interesting to read about his tough transition from football to wrestling. B+ is the grade that I just gave it.

2. Positively Page by Diamond Dallas Page: I like DDP's book and Mick's book about equally the same, but I guess I had to choose a tie-breaker. Since I like the ending to Mick's better, I guess DDP's will take second. But don't take that away from this book. It's AWESOME!!! It's a great book which describes DDP's early childhood up and until he won the WCW World title in 1999 at Spring Stampede and a little bit after that. Great stories included, with a good message included to anyone who thinks they can't achieve anyting. Absolutely Recommended to read, as I gave it an A+ back in the day.

1. Have a Nice Day by Mick Foley: Mick Foley had NO assistance in writing this great book, and it sort of helps you to think how he was thinking back then. Many say, since he's in his mid 30s, that he shouldn't have wrote a book. Well, they are on crack, because Mick has lived a long life in wrestling. This book is a good one if you wondered what happened to certain federations back in the day, like the horrible WCW times when chimps were running the place. Like DDP's book, this one is Absolutely Recommended, since I also gave this one an A+.

Well, there you have it. I'll just have to wait until the next Hardback books come out, or if I can get my hands on Micheal Capetta's book if it's out yet. Maybe I'll finally get Pure Dynamite too? If I remember, I'll have more X-Mas suggestions to give you tomorrow.

News Orgy: One Big Orgy of News and other good stuff!

LoP T-Shirts!!!!!

Backyard BBQ has been updated with the newly announced Site of the Month.

@Phew! I woke up sort of earlier to get this column done, and I'm here hours later. Sorry for the delay, but this one took me a while to type up. Enjoy your Monday Night Shows, as I'll be back tomorrow with a full blown review of both. Just chill....

Phat Pharm: NEW "Unspoken Word" to Read, so CLICK HERE!!!!

Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

Mr. Tito 2000 Exclusive to LordsofPain.net