Welcome, one and all, to the Christmas edition of the Phat Daily Column. I hope you are having a good Christmas, as commercialized as it is, and I hope you're enjoying quality time with families, or acting like it when you just want to tear into presents. I'm coming to you from the in-between break from the two stops I make on Christmas. In the morning, I visit my mom's side of the family, and in the evening, I visit my dad's. Conveniently, my families live very close to me so that I don't have to travel much.
Last night, the WWF taped everyone a RAW to enjoy for Christmas Eve, which was a nice thing to relax to instead of watching many Christmas specials or movies all night long. I suppose I'm thankful to the WWF for that. Today's column will deal with reviewing the Christmas Eve RAW, if that's ok.
Want to know what I got for Christmas? Just the usual, really, with clothes, money, and whatnot. The Compaq from Hell, however, did screw me over in a way on one present. Someone got me a Mp3 player, which you can transfer Mp3s to your computer and listen to them on headphones. I was impressed, but then I read the fine print saying that the Mp3 player required USB connection. Funny thing is that the Compaq from Hell can't have USB, for its version of Windows is too shitty for it to be installed on. Yeah, I could get a new version of Windows, but then again, it would make this P.O.S. (Piece of Shit) even slower than it already is. Therefore, *that* gift idea bites the dust....
Oh well. I could care less, anymore, about getting presents, for I'd rather see the reaction or shock to what I give others. Speaking of giving, in this case my opinion about RAW, on to the PDC!
The Christmas parties.... Man, they were quite funny. On a normal show, I would have bashed the WWF for doing too much backstage stuff, but screw it. It's the CHRISTMAS edition of RAW, so the corny stuff is good for the show. Both parties had their share of goof-offs to make them funny. We had Mae Young and the Fabulous Moolah attend Vince's party, and poor Pat Patterson would get his later by Stone Cold. Yecch! I don't wish that on anybody! It's sort of like Tommy Davidson delivering Wanda's baby on the skit show, In Living Color, where he couldn't stand the sight. These Christmas parties also set up a Santa match, along with the television return of Stephanie McMahon. Although Vince shot her down in the segment, she WILL be back on January 7th, with Triple H. I'm sure she can't wait for that.
The first match of the night was Test vs. Rikishi. Oh man, what a Christmas present this match is (sarcasm). Horrible as you'd expect from these two, with one guy still living in early 2000, when he was over, while the other wrestles the same match, for every match, while sucking off Shane McMahon for the continuous push. In attempt to "add heat" to Testicles (because Test sucks balls), he attacked the referee to end the match. Oh boy, I just want to boo him now (sarcasm). Rikishi would save the day, meaning that we'll see these two guys fight, each other, more often. Who says Diamond Dallas Page shouldn't be on television?
As if the wrestling couldn't get any worse, Chuck Palumbo and Billy Gunn took on the APA in the next match. Chucky dyed his hair blonde, to you know, to allow fans to laugh at this tag team even more! These two are absolutely horrible in the ring, especially Billy Gunn. Why he gets so many chances at coming back is beyond me, especially when every idea is horrible. It appears that the WWF is shoving these guys down our throats, that way, you can wish WCW was still on the other channel to flip to.
The next bout was Lance Storm versus Rob Van Dam. As good as RVD is in the ring, he doesn't do well in backstage segments. The match was way too short, since this is the way it is with good workers when there's more "sports entertainment" to push on the show, along with Billy Gunn/Chuck Palumbo matches. Screw having a good wrestling match, the WWF says.
Did the WWF learn from the Gravy match between Trish and Stacy? Stacy Kiebler took on Torrie Wilson in an "Eggnog Match", which was more or less, mud wrestling with the eggnog posing as mud. Well, Stacy's clothes didn't rip off, so it wasn't a true mud wrestling match. Just the usual T&A pushing that Vince Russo would be proud of.
Christian vs. the Hurricane was next. Wow, Mighty Molly still exists. Back when Molly joined the Hurricane, the WWF creative team wasn't happy with how Molly was accepted as his sidekick. The match was short, yet again for the European title. Give Tazz vs. Christian or Hurricane vs. Christian a simple 15 minutes at a Pay Per View, and we'll see who turns heads instead of seeing the Underfaker pounding something or Rikishi vs. Test.
The next match was Tough Enough winner Maven against Tito and Coolbeans favorite, Booker T. Boy, has the WWF put some bulk on Maven or what? Yep, he's in the WWF alright. The match was a dirty squash to add heat to Booker T, which was about as effective as Test attacking a referee. I wonder how mad Hardcore Bob Holly was when Booker T used his finisher to defeat Maven?
I did enjoy the battle of the Santas idea, pitting Tajiri vs. Bubba Ray Dudley. For a Christmas edition of RAW, this is a clever idea, and the crowd seemed to really like it. Tajiri won via mist to Santa Bubba's face, and then a Christmas kick to get the win. Scary thing is that this was the best match of the night at this point, as it took two guys wrestling as Santa Claus to achieve that, in my opinion.
The Main Event with Rock vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kurt Angle was good, but it lacked the energy that a one on one battle could have done for Jericho and the Rock in Rocky's hometown. I guess the WWF is pushing the idea that the Rock could beat Jericho if it was one on one? Good way to make a weak champion. Jericho won the match cheaply, defeating the idea of a two on one battle.
RAW Phat Stats
Clean Wins: 5
No Contests: 0
LAST WORD: Although I laughed at the various Christmas parties, I didn't quite enjoy the lack of good wrestling on this show. The WWF is going for the short match thinking again, telling their wrestlers to hustle for the 3 minutes they have. How can you build the drama when you are rushing yourselves in the ring? You can't. But hey, it's only ratings, which the WWF hides the fact that they are worried about them. That's why they blamed Jericho and RVD for last week's low RAW rating, right? No need to blame the other content of the show, like the short matches or too many "sports entertainment" spots. No way, it can't be them. Only blame the main event. I'll give Christmas Eve RAW a
AOL Instant Messenger: BookerTito - It's recommended that you send your questions or feedback as your first message so that it could be answered, instead of saying "hi", "hey", "what's up" or whatever else. Just get to the point, please, to make it easier since I get drilled with messages.
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KOLTERSHOCK!!! - A site that you shouldn't view with small children present!
@That's all for today. I'm not sure when I'll have another, but I do plan on doing some special columns for the end of the year. I already watched the Hardy Boyz video, so I MAY do something tomorrow, reviewing that very video. See ya!
Take Care, and Have a Merry Christmas.