Welcome, folks, to another installment of the Phat Weekend Column, the weekend version of the Phat Daily Column. Yes, I've found time from my slave drivers, or work, to whip up a column. Besides, I really need to review Smackdown, and that's what this column is for.

Some have suggested that with my intense working schedule that I buy a new computer. Yes, that sounds like a fine and dandy idea, but if I buy a new one, what says the current Windows on the computer, which I have to use (digital camera, etc), is any good? Microsoft has yet to publish a version of Windows without a ridiculous number of bugs in the system. Why should I pay more for an overpriced piece of crap? I won't until I have to.

As a funny joke, WWF wrestler Crash Holly was sure to send me a link to a WWF article talking about his wrestling school. Oh boy, Crash, you're just too much. For one, I'd never enter the wrestling business. I'd much rather study hard in school to have a job where I'll be healthy in 30 years. Secondly, I honestly wouldn't last. My back couldn't take it (I've mentioned in the past about having a surgery similar to Shawn Michaels), and I don't quite have the determination to take ridiculous beatings just to become a wrestler. That's just not me. No thanks there buddy, but I'd rather annoy you with my opinions, while typing them from a nice and comfortable chair.

Oh, in other news... I am NOT pulling a swerve on you folks about the "special project". I have been working long hours, therefore, I'm behind on it. I'm in no mood to play Vince Russo on you folks. But instead, I'll play Santa Claus!

Every year, I do a column suggesting X-Mas gifts for any wrestling fan. I was planning on doing this Thursday, but the phone rang, and I was begged to pull another double shift. So anyway, if you are last minute Christmas shopping, here are some ideas:

-Any Mick Foley Books
-TLC: Tables, Ladders, and Chairs WWF Video
-The Unreal Story of Professional Wrestling documentary
-Kurt Angle: It's True, It's True book
-ECW: Path of Destruction
-Best of Backyard Wrestling Volume 2
-DDP: Positively Page Book
-Any WWF THQ games

So there you have it wrestling fans. I do warn anyone about buying the recent WWF videos, for they are very poor and aren't as entertaining as past videos, in my opinion.

Speaking of my opinion, on to the PDC!

SMACKDOWN is TITO

Smackdown opened with Ric Flair and Booker T backstage, with Flair giving Booker T a contract. Several people are quite angry at how the WWF is portraying Booker T as a thug, whereas I am sort of on the fence for his current character. I don't like him stealing vehicles, but at the same time, it's getting him in a high profile feud with Steve Austin. Booker seems to be improving at the sports entertainment level of pro wrestling as well, never messing up on segments or interviews. Booker T signed the contract, and Flair smiled as he walked out. Flair would later book Booker T into a "First Blood" match against Austin, which I guess is part of the contract.

First match of the night was Edge vs. Kurt Angle. Have these two ever fought before on television? Decent bout between the two, with an odd finish. I've seen referees let many low blows by as of late, so to disqualify Kurt Angle only degrades WWF officiating. Since when was it good or thought out, anyway? Kurt Angle attacked Edge, as we'll see yet another television bout between these two. Oh boy, can't hardly wait to see Angle vs. Edge part 82374664 on television. Wasn't Angle fighting for the World Title at the most recent Pay Per View?

Ok, I can honestly say that I Fast Fowarded through the Rock interview. I'm short on time, and wanted to get this show out of the way, so I did what I could. I'm sure I'd say "funny segment from the Rock, although it was too long". I'll go back and watch it some time.

Next match was Rikishi vs. Lance Storm. Unless the WWF gives Rikishi back his old finisher (a modified tombstone) or gives him a new and threatening one, he's pretty much worthless from his return to the WWF. Lance Storm surprisingly got the win, after lots of cheating from Lance's new friend, I suppose, Test. I guess that Alliance bond still holds strong for some wrestlers. A future tag team match is certainly brewing.

Funny advice given by Kane to Booker T about "First Blood" matches. Don't bleed, he says.

Matt Hardy acting like a punching bag for the Undertaker was next. Wow, the Undertaker isn't generating much heel heat as a heel now. He must not have what it takes, eh? I'm sure if they changed the entrance theme, it would help, along with making the Undertaker actually sell a move. Stupid squash by the 'Taker on Hardy, as both Hardys have jobbed out to the Undertaker. I did, however, like that weird chair maneuver that the Undertaker did to Matt after the match. That's something for the Undertaker to continue to use when attacking his human punching bags.

I only caught part of the Chris Jericho promo, cause again, I was Fast Fowarding through talking to catch the show. Looks like Rob Van Dam and Jericho will continue the feud, despite getting the blame for the low RAW ratings. Maybe if the surrounding show around Jericho vs. RVD was good, then maybe the numbers would be higher. Duh huh.

Next, it was Test vs. the Rock. Test is utterly worthless at this point, and his short stint with the Rock will not help him in the long run. That's not from the Rock's doing, but from Test's, for he never makes the necessary improvements to step up to be a main eventer. Take a look at Triple H... he was nothing until he began to bust his ass in the ring, starting from the Summer of 1999 and then on. Test needs to apply himself, instead of giving knob to Shane McMahon to have worthless programs with the Rock. Rock won the match, and I question this: wasn't the Rock fighting for the World Title at the last Pay Per View? Test/Storm vs. Rock/Rikishi will be on RAW or Smackdown, next week, I suppose (I don't read spoilers).

Chris Jericho vs. the Big Show was next. I really want to know the true long-term goals the WWF has for the Big Slow. At least they used him properly, for he lost to Chris Jericho, although it was a dirty victory. Nothing much to say about the match, other than Jericho played the punching bag for the Big Slow.

It's funny to see how many wrestlers are just turned into punching bags on RAW or Smackdown, when fighting such big slugs like Big Show, Undertaker, Test, or Kane.

Last match was the "First Blood" match between Steve Austin and Booker T. Not bad, but it seemed too short for some reason. Booker T was nailing his kicks, whereas they mostly look sloppy. And then, I became sad.... Big Bossman made his WWF return and attacked Austin to help Booker T get the victory. Oh great, we're back to 1998-1999 again, which had Big Bossman getting hired by Vince McMahon to attack Steve Austin. After the match, Vince McMahon laughed, assuring us that Vince is trying Austin vs. McMahon 28347847747478939 as a last ditch effort to jumpstart the ratings. Recycling isn't a good thing when it comes to wrestling.

RAW Phat Stats
Matches: 6
Clean Wins: 2
Screwjobs: 3
Disqualifications: 1
No Contests: 0

LAST WORD: Not too strong of a show on the WWF's part. It looks as though they are coasting until Royal Rumble comes closer. I found it odd that the WWF did Booker T vs. Steve Austin so early, and the WWF is just wasting the Rock, by having him feud with Test. We'll go

C-

(C minus) on this show. I'm not really pumped for seeing Vince and Austin go at it, full time, again. Come on January 7th, as I'd take Triple H's long interviews and backstage politics over shows like this, any day of the week.

AOL Instant Messenger: BookerTito - It's recommended that you send your questions or feedback as your first message so that it could be answered, instead of saying "hi", "hey", "what's up" or whatever else. Just get to the point, please, to make it easier since I get drilled with messages.

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@That's all for this weekend. I hope to be somehow back on track this week, but if not, PLEASE understand. Until next time, just chill till the next episode and have a happy holidays!

Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

Mr. Tito 1998 - 2001 Exclusive to LordsofPain.net