Welcome to the Column that RARELY takes a day off... it's the Phat Daily Column. Today, we discuss the federation that's amazingly still alive! It's a miracle I tell you, as normally, any corporation would fold after losing $50 Million in one year! But not WCW. Now if it gets out of Time Warner/AOL hands, you may proceed to put the nail in the coffin. On to the PDC.
There is one thing I've noticed about Backyard Federations: they either have great gimmicks or very bad gimmicks, and NOT a mix of both! This federation had BAD gimmicks. So bad that they should look into hiring Dusty Rhodes as a creative director. HAHA! Ok, so a few people got that joke, so we'll move on....
The documentary just talked with the wrestlers, and if I'm not mistaken, I've seen the kid who bladed several times on television. Is that the same "hardcore" guy who was on ABC's 20/20 and Queen Latifah's show? It sure looked like it. I was in tears from laughing at how that parent yelled at him for blading. That was SO funny! Yeah, I know it's fun to impress audiences, but blading at a young age? Come on. How stupid can you get? That's about as smart as the retards who use lightbulbs in their hardcore matches.
I mean, I like backyard wrestling very much, and I'm a big supporter through my Backyard BBQ, but going overboard is stupid to me. Sure, if you want to put someone through a table, hit them with a chair, or jump of something high on someone, then fine. Those can actually be done safely, oddly enough. But when you do something to blade, on purpose, then you are really stupid as a backyard wrestler. Why don't you be a man anyway and bleed like Mick Foley used to. Have someone punch down on your eyebrow to bleed. Now that's a man's way to do it.
I'll give this documentary a B. If you know the people who run that fed, be sure to tell them about my review. :)
By the way... I'm aiming to get The Best of Backyard Wrestling, Volumes 1 and 2, after Christmas to possibly review.
This one just goes behind the scenes with Chyna, showing how "tough" her wrestling career is. In this quick behind the scenes look, she has a drastic injury! A Broken Nail! OUCH!!! Yeah, I'm kidding. I always wondered why Chyna does those forearm shivers! It avoids her from scratching her opponents or breaking more nails. Hey, then why does Rob Van Dam elect to do forearms instead of punches?
There really isn't much to review here, as she goes through some pieces of her life and so forth. I'll give this a B too.
Decent Cruiserweight opener for Thunder this week, with Jamie Noble and Chavo Guerrero. I can't believe how lazy the booking crew is for this division, because they currently have a stockpile of lightweight wrestlers at their disposal. Of course, many of those lightweights, like Rey-Rey and Billy Kidman think that they can wrestle Heavyweight. Well, they are under contract, so tell them how it is!
Hmmm... I'm wondering if the Natural Born Thrillers will actually face the Insiders at Syn or whatever. I'm not sure if DDP will remain in WCW after the fight.
Bam Bam Bigelow has been going downhill ever since he lost to Lawrence Taylor. I remember when he used to actually be a badass. He got the win over Crowbar tonight, since Meng decided he wanted to help.
Oh God. WCW decided to not shaft us on Nitro two weeks ago with Norman Smiley against Bill Goldberg, so they give it to us here on Thunder. Do you really expect viewers to tune in when Goldberg has a weakling to squash? Give him someone decent to wrestle please, and to at least get him to a 6 minute match or so.
Memo to Shane Douglas: get a new finisher! Shane bought the APA, oh, I mean KroniK to team up with him to face, you guessed it, the Misfits in Action. KroniK and Shane got the win, obviously.
But let me get off the Thunder subject for one moment. How long can you keep using the Misfits in Action? Ever since they've been created, they've NEVER been over. Just watch General Rection wrestle on this past Thunder. Sure, the crowd was soo dead, but nobody is giving a shit when he's in the ring, and punching Shane in the corner. WCW pushes him as a HUGE babyface, but yet nobody is cheering. When that happens, what do you do? You KILL it and stop it from happening... and not shoving it down our throats each week. History shows that promotions fail when they shove non-over babyfaces down your throats.
But look at MIA. They don't have Chavo, who is off on is own, thank God. Then, you have General Rection, their leader, who has been the most overrated wrestler for a while now. Sure, he can do a moonsault, but can he carry a match? NO! He usually gets tired during a match, thus making the match bad. He can thank Lance Storm for carrying his ass to a match. Then, you have A-Wall. DO YOU GET IT??? A-Wall or Wall has always been an untalented wrestler throughout his early WCW career. He's sooo slow, and absent a personality that's needed to be a major threat. Even worse, Hulk Hogan once performed better in the ring than him during their match. He sucks, and it should be recommended that he take a trip to the NWA(not the old, but the indie who now develops WCW wrestlers) and trim him down for a monster return. Finally, you have Lash Leroux or Corporal Cajun. He used to be a very promising Cruiserweight, and then he joined MIA. Ever since then, all muscle tone that he USED to have just disappeared... and it shows now when he wrestles. He used to be very fast and high flying, and now he just does nothing in the ring. Pathetic.
It's about time for Ed Ferrara, the new "head" booker of WCW, to can his good friend Russo's idea. Either that, or Ed is saving it for a possible Russo return? Even if Bischoff takes over, I'd rather take a heavy dose of Hulk Hogan again than to watch the Misfits in Action. Now that says a lot, cause I hate that bald glory hog.
Cat vs. Scott Steiner was an OK main event, I guess, as the Cat just simply sucks in the ring. During this match, the Black Scorpion..... I mean guy in a stray jacket and mask came down to taunt Scott. He was saying "how about California in '86" and "even if you've seen me recently, my face has changed". Ok, I'm kidding those Black Scorpion memories, but it's just as bad. Some people were telling me that the guy under the mask will be Booker T. Oh yeah, I'm sure of that. Let's send a thick white guy out there to get the fans the feeling that it's Booker T. Please. It's going to be Rick Steiner, so get ready for that torture.
FINALLY on my Thunder review, Mike Awesome turned into Team Canada last night. Ok, here's what I think: Anything that KILLS the 70s guy and gives Mike Awesome a mean edge, then I'll take it. It's F'N stupid to place someone like him on Team Canada, but if it brings back something close to what he was in ECW, then I'll take it. You see, WCW wouldn't need to do this, had they tried to push Awesome as a badass before this. Instead, they made him the "Fat Chick Thriller" and the "70's Guy". Now, he's in Team Canada, and I'm hoping that it at least gives him the edge again. So really, I'm actually for it, even though it's retarded booking. He could work well with Lance Storm, and I'm for that too.
I'm basically screwed for writing about WCW, because of the fact that they have NO shows to review. Plus, most of the news comes out of their shows, so I'll miss that.
Since WCW has stopped any of their talent from appearing on indy cards, I think they should do what the WWF has been doing recently. That is to strike deals with indy cards, to have some of their wrestlers featured there. Just look at feds like the UPW. That place goes crazy when some WWF wrestlers are on their show. I'm sure they could get SOME reaction like that if WCW chooses to do so.
4. Lance Storm: Showed he could wrestle Monday, although the crowd didn't care much.
3. Terry Funk: Your NEW Hardcore Champion. Welcome back Terry.
2. Jeff Jarrett: After TWO long months of midcard hell, Jarrett is back for the main event scene. Welcome back after paying some dues.
1. Scott Steiner: Retains at Starrcade, and defeats Cat on Thunder. He shouldn't have ripped DDP on a live interview though.
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@That's all for today. I shall be back, tomorrow, for some WWF goodies to pass around. So until then, just chill....
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