Welcome to the Friday edition of the Phat Daily Column. Today, we're coming to you live from the Laptop from Hell, a fitting vacation from the Compaq from Hell. I need to get up early in the morning, so I'll review Smackdown AS IT HAPPENS! Smell the internet hits!
By the way, I just might watch Excess this week, since Shawn Michaels will be on the show. I wonder if his appearance will mean anything in the long run, or just a trial to see if his ego is in check or if it's still bad. Who knows? But what I do know is that I'll make an effort to watch the show, and I guarantee that HBK will equal ratings for the 0.8 average rated show.
Anyway, on to the PDC!
I really don't like the new mix of Kurt Angle's theme. It didn't need the extra bass beat. Speaking of horrible theme music, William Regal was Angle's partner. Funny how Kurt Angle had the brass knucks all along, while the referee checked Regal when he came in. Their opponents were Rikishi and Edge. Speaking of Edge, the new Rob Zombie CD has really grown on me. I want to know how Rikishi can flip in the air when he sells the clothesline. That defeats the laws of physics. Good finish to a short match, as Edge hit a spear out of no where. Afterward, Rikishi tried to make Angle toss his salad, but Regal saved the day. Regal would later accidentally hit Angle with the brass knucks, and then he would find himself tossing Rikishi's salad. Regal would get up and hit Rikishi with the knucks, and Edge would save the day with a chair. Regal sure gets bloody easily.
Booker T and Vince McMahon arrive with lots of security, and Vince tries hard to be a big authority, like always.
Regal is shown backstage, getting medical attention. Looks like that may be his way to get the surgery needed for his nose bleeds.
Booker T and Vince run into Ric Flair, and the Nature Boy apparently has a luxury box for Vince. I smell a swerve...
Lita is shown backstage, and it looks as though Test is going for the rebound. Yikes. Test has no personality to make himself look like a cocky heel. Jeff Hardy saves the day, and it sets up a Test vs. Jeff Hardy match. Ok...
Next match was Tajiri vs. Crash Holly. Torrie Wilson was looking incredible! I'm glad to see that the WWF is finally using Crash for the Lightweight division, for he'd make a great contender or even a champion there. Too bad the WWF can't push that division. If they'd only take a look back at WCW's success back when the NWO was running wild, they would see that the Cruiserweight division was a great part of the midcard. An extra incentive to watch the whole show. That's something the WWF needs right now. Match was decent for its short amount of given time. Looks like the WWF has found a new role for Crash as a bastard to women. Holy cow, the Hurricane returned! Could this be the formation of a Lightweight division? Doubt it.
Poor Lance Storm came back to beg Ric Flair, stating that since he hired Hurricane back, that he should hire back Lance Storm, too. Storm was even funny, as he said he carried the Hurricane for their tag team! HAHA! Storm gets one more chance tonight.
Back in the luxury box, and Booker T and Vince were served Steve Austin's food from Sonic. I've never had Sonic before... wonder if its good? I'm sure Sonic is loving the cheap advertisement.
Test vs. Jeff Hardy was next. Both guys are great athletes, but as far as the storylines go, both suck when trying to act or cut a promo. Nothing annoys me more than seeing Jeff Hardy wrestle with the hat on. It appears that Test always wrestles with the same offense, in every match, never trying something new. Wow, he sure is the new Kevin Nash. Well, I did like how Test kicked the referee into the ropes to knock off Jeff from the top rope, and then the big boot to Hardy off the top was nice. Afterward, the Rock attacked Test to remind us that Shane is using the biggest star in the company to put over his own best friend, Test.
Backstage, we see Matt Hardy playing cards with the APA. Farrooq asked Matt some really dirty questions about nailing Lita. Funny stuff!
Back in the luxury box, again, and some firemen walk in, asking about the fire made from the food. Kind of tasteless stuff with Vince yelling at the firemen, saying they come around when they aren't needed. Steve Austin was one of the firemen, and he attacked Vince and Booker T, and chased Booker T out of the arena.
Our next match was the next attempt to save Lance Storm's job. I bet his opponent is Kane... just a guess. Wow, how hard was that to predict? Kane made his way to the ring, thus providing some cheap comedy for Storm's eventual return. Nice top rope spinning heel kick by Storm in this match, followed by a hard superkick. Blah, another squash on Storm.
More from the APA and Matt Hardy playing cards. Farrooq continued the assault, and then Bradshaw chimed in! The APA are F'N hilarious in those backstage segments, and this may have been their best one yet! "Is she a natural redhead?" HAHA!!
Thanks to the WWF's Triple H promos, U2's "Beautiful Day" has been stuck in my head recently. Awesome production on this, by the way.
Does the WWF ever do any Six man matches anymore? I guess when you have a loaded talent roster, you have no choice. Christian & the Dudleys took on Prince Albert, Scotty 2 Hotty, and Tazz. What's the reasoning for having Tazz in this match? Duds are with Christian from the Alliance days, and Christian has been feuding with Albert/Scotty for a while. I like to see how Albert and Scotty are now doing tag moves together. Dirty crotching on the pole done by Bubba and Christian on poor Scotty. Excellent chemistry from the Dudleys and Christian as a team. Very fun and entertaining Six Man match! Albert, Scotty, and Tazz won when Tazz choked Christian out. Could this be a singles push for Tazz?
Up in the luxury box, Booker T calls Vince, saying that he probably lost Austin on the road. Oh wait, Booker T just saw Austin.
Next match was Bradshaw versus Matt Hardy. Why isn't hardy wrestling Farrooq, the one who was doing most of the joking? Well, Farrooq has very bad knees, now in his 40's, so I suppose it makes sense. What happened to the "big" singles push Jim Ross promised for Bradshaw in his Ross Report? Crowd seems confused as to who to cheer for. Bradshaw won via clothesline from Hell.
In the luxury box, yet again, we are with Vince McMahon when Ric Flair walks in while on a cell phone. Austin was the man on the cell phone. Are advertisers paying the WWF for Austin to mention their food in his promos now?
In the luxury box, again... It's Flair and Vince...
We immediately go to the Green Frog Grocery Store, where WWF cameras just happen to be. A paranoid Booker T attacked a innocent bald man, only to get attacked by the real Austin. Funny segment, yet ridiculous because WWF cameras shouldn't be out of the arena. It's sort of a wasted cost for the WWF to just go trash a grocery store. At least Booker T fought back a little bit, as he trapped Austin in the freezer. Austin would then come back, and whip on Booker some more.
Flair then laughs at Vince in the luxury box.
Main event saw Chris Jericho and the Undertaker taking on the Rock and Rob Van Dam. The WWF seriously needs to make a new belt to signify the Unified World Champion. No need to carry around two titles. Funny start, as Rocky went after Jericho, but was attacked by the Undertaker in the process. It's also hilarious to see the Undertaker selling moves for the Rock. Undertaker has added the forearm rubs to his offense, which Regal once used back in WCW. Nice addition, especially after a heel turn. Yeah, that was an Undertaker compliment. Extremely loud RVD chants tonight. Lots of heat for Jericho, too.
I'm sure Larry Zbyszko is crying, even more, after how many times Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler put Jericho over as the "Living Legend". Zbyszko is just jealous because the WWF won't give him the time of the day right now. Solid tag match, made even better with a great crowd in California. The Undertaker just basically went for the ride, as the other 3 great performers carried the match. Looks like Jericho and RVD will be feuding, as RVD got the pin on Jericho to win the tag match.
LAST WORD: A very fun wrestling show tonight. That's right, it was one of those shows that had you laughing in some parts, and really pumped for others, like some of the matches. I'll give this show an
AOL Instant Messenger: BookerTito - It's recommended that you send your questions or feedback as your first message so that it could be answered, instead of saying "hi", "hey", "what's up" or whatever else. Just get to the point, please, to make it easier since I get drilled with messages.
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@That's all for today. I'll be back, sometime this weekend with some sort of column, I hope. Until then, just chill.......
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.