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BAD TITO: Attacking 2 Unfortunate Souls
By Mr. Tito - Tuesday, April 17, 2001 at 12:06 AM EST

Oh my God!!! I haven't done a BAD TITO in ages! What's wrong with me???? Well, like always, I don't have the time to give the fans the Bad Tito they love, crave, or get horny over. Yes, you know it. Plus, you can only rip on douchebag reporters every once in a while, or it gets tiring. Besides, I IGNORE the sites those losers post on, anyway, so I don't know what's going on. However, I researched their shitty pages, and I got lots of material to work with today.

Who are the douchebags in question today? Well, the two I had in mind are two guys who I can't fucking stand whatsoever. Both have ignorant plugs at the bottom of their posts, and both constantly steal others reports. So they deserve this, and I could give a flying fuck if it offends them.

Monkeys and Baboones


Who is Monkey? Well, Diamond Dallas Page coined the name after MONKEY posted false information about himself and his wife, Kimberly. In DDP's State of the Union address, he referred to this loser as a Monkey who couldn't get his facts straight. So what's the guy's real name? Well, I don't want to give him a proper mention, so just put together Wilma's husband on the cartoon The Flintstones and another word for "chef", and that's who the Monkey truly is. He runs a site called Masturbators of Wrestling, I believe. Let's look at his recent plugs:

EXTREMELY HOT UNRELEASED Photos of Trish Stratus and Lita Uncensored **CLICK HERE**

This guy has an extreme fetish with Trish Stratus and Lita, which is somewhat understandable, but there are other beauties in the wrestling business, too. As for the "unreleased photos". Shit, did MONKEY take them himself? Does he have inside sources? Of course not. He just stole them from the various pages you can pictures of Trish and Lita. However, he'll use the word "unreleased" to get you to click his link, and increase his banner revenue. What a cheap whore.

**CLICK HERE** To Find Out Who Steve Austin Will Be Defending His WWF Title Against Tonight!

What a dumbass. He makes a big assumption that Matt Hardy will fight Steve Austin, based on the fact that Triple H was wrestling Jeff Hardy. However, he claims that he's "received word" about this match and the other matches, which he took from without credit. What a dickhead.

**CLICK HERE** For Screen Shots and Videos of The Next WWF Video Game RAW is WAR.!

Wow. I really wish I could get the skinny on an early developed game, too. Stupid Monkey. THQ announced that they are in the early development stages for the RAW is WAR game on the X-Box, so there shouldn't be any screen shots or video clips of the game just yet. However, leave it to Monkey to trick people into clicking his link. I wonder how disappointed they'll be after seeing none of what was promised?

FINAL VERDICT for MONKEY: Go make a clone so you can go fuck yourself!


Who is this loser? Well, this is probably the most immature poster I've ever seen. He's probably like 12? 13? years old? Probably only 10 years old. Anyway, if you use the first name of the Hardy wrestler other than Jeff, and take a good look at the title of this segment, you should figure out who this moron truly is. Let's look at this dumbfuck's posts:

HOT Photos Of Lita SUN-BATHING! (Direct Link) VIEW HERE

Sun bathing? What if she was going to the Super Market? Would you hype "HOT Photos of Lita going to the Super Market"? Probably. I went to the so called Sun Bathing link, and guess what I found? No Sun Bathing at all! In fact, the pictures were STOLEN from and they were just pics of Lita walking around New York City. Not sun bathing! Oh lord, that has to disappoint viewers.

Baboone did a lot of plugs for what could happen on RAW last night. Let's look at those, shall we?


EXCLUSIVE - Goldberg Appearing On RAW! **DETAILS HERE**

HBK/HHH To Settle Differences On RAW! **MUST READ NOW**

Austin Turning On Vince! Goldberg WWF Debut! CLICK HERE

Austin Turning On Vince+Goldberg On His Side! **CLICK**

Let's see here.... For Bill Goldberg. One of his reporters, on his site, said the following: "Goldberg has been said to be in no talks with the WWF." Wow, that sort of defeats the Goldberg appearance, right? As for Hogan, he had NO posts about Hogan, nor did he have anything for Shawn Michaels either. Nothing he hyped came true, which means you are a retard if you rely on this poor motherfucker for news.

Never Before Seen Photos Of Lita Backstage *CLICK HERE*

Like I said above.... the only Lita pictures are the ones I mentioned above. He stole them from, and they are of Lita in New York City, and NOT backstage. How could he get pictures of her backstage? A wrestler or an employee of the WWF would be the ones taking the pictures, and they would be in deep shit if they gave pictures like that out to little kids for their websites.

Actual PROOF Of Goldberg @ SmackDown! **MUST READ NOW**

No proof whatsoever on his stupid page. What could be proof anyway? A picture? A soundbyte from another wrestler? Yeah, that's proof, but this little bastard sure wasn't supplying it for anyone who views his site from the link.

FINAL VERDICT for BABOONE: Go outside and play hide-and-go fuck yourself.

What's the point of all of this verbal abuse? Someone needed to say what I just said. These kids, and many many others are getting away with cheap methods to gain hits for their sites. The poor and unfortuate banner companies don't truly understand how bad they are getting jipped by these children.

Maybe that's why banner companies are going under these days?

Your Hero,