|BAD TITO - The Extra Column done by Mr. Tito, who also writes the Phat Daily Column. Sort of call this a column to blow off steam or just to have fun writing. Originally a special part of the Evolution, it now makes it home on the Phat Pharm. Enjoy.|
|Oh Joy, Bad Tito has returned. Now I promised
you that I'd bring this column back for the WORST in Professional
Wrestling Awards, and unlike stupid internet sites who promise you
NUDE PICTURES OF STEPHANIE McMAHON, I'm going to deliver.
Before we start, one of my hopes came true. Apparently, UGO.com got wind of all of the shitty sites they hold under their belt. Just recently, they did a little housecleaning and they decided to only keep the big name sites. So now, many kiddies will have to find another ad network to rip off for being shitty wrestling webmasters. Awwww, that's too bad.
Let's start on the WORST in Professional wrestling, shall we?
|BAD TITO AWARDS for the WORST in Pro
Worst Wrestler of the Year: Prince Iaukea or the Artist Formerly Known as Prince Iaukea
How the Artist had a job in WCW is unknown. How he got a push is even worse. The Artist was good pals with Kevin Sullivan, therefore, he got his little push. Russo was oddly high on this guy too, until the WCW higher-ups let the Artist's contract run out. Hey, that's WCW's BEST decision this year!
Worst Federation of the Year: World Championship Wrestling
Around $50 Million dollars in debt, two presidents trying to run the company, retarded booking, and many more reasons. Had some good leadership occurred in WCW, then maybe they could compete with the WWF. But noooo, personal interests and ignorance got in the way.
Most Overrated Wrestler: Justin Credible
It's well known that I hate this man, but hear me out here. This man was NOT over as a heel champion. Before he was shoved out there to beat Tommy Dreamer for the World Title, he was a midcard wrestler who wasn't exactly making strides. Sure, he was part of the Impact Players, who won the World Tag titles. Big deal. Their team was only over because they had Dawn Marie shaking her ass all of the time. Credible wouldn't receive this award, had he remained in the midcard OR slowly grew into the main event status. Instead, ECW shoved him to the top and it hurt their company.
|Worst Commentator: Mark Madden
WCW finally got the balls to fire Madden, after many have been screaming it for months now. Madden has that screeching voice that just gives you an instant headache. He was stealing WWF gimmicks all of the time for his commentating, and he only kissed the asses of his personal pals backstage. Everyone else, he bashed! So long Madden, as you can now enjoy your career as a sports radio guy, article writer, and on the internet.
Biggest Ego in Wrestling: Vince Russo
The man who said "I'm only in WCW to help the wrestlers get over", but yet this dumbfuck puts himself over during his interviews. He even booked himself to win the World Title, following in 1999's biggest Ego award winner, Vince McMahon's footsteps. After claiming that he was TOTALLY responsible for the WWF's success, he ran WCW into the ground with his bogus storylines.
Worst Channel for Wrestling: TNN
Firstly, they totally fucked over Extreme Championship Wrestling, and now, they are whoring their own programming on RAW is WAR. Once they got the WWF, they started this "We Got Pop" campaign, which is more fucking ridiculous than USA Networks begging you to watch Pacific Blue. Fuck TNN!
|Worst Tag Team: T & A
The WWF shoved this heel team down our throats, and Thank God they ended the year by breaking them up. However, we're going to be treated to Test vs. Albert matches. NOOOOOOO.
Worst Stable in Wrestling: Misfits in Action
Russo's idea of getting shitty guys over was to put them in a group, give them names with sexual references, and "try" to make them as a threat. Yeah, a threat to new ratings lows! These guys totally sucked this year. General Rection continued to suck, Corporal Cajun lost all muscle tone, Major Stash was kicked out of WCW for being an asshole, and A-Wall (DO YOU FUCKING GET IT???) was his own stupid self. Terrible, terrible, terrible!
Worst World Champion: Either Vince Russo or David Arquette
Funny, both champions were Russo's ideas for HUGE RATING DRAWS. Dumbass.
|Worst Valet: Torrie Wilson
Sure, she looks mighty fine, but she has sense for the wrestling business. Her acting skills are very bad, and her mic skills are even worse. People wonder why the WWF won't pick her up since WCW won't resign her.
Worst Wrestling Website: WCW.com
As if this site didn't suck before, WCW.com added Flash to their site to make it even worse. The only thing decent about this site is the Nitro/Thunder previews, and that's all! The rest just sucks. Wasn't Bill Banks brought in to revamp that site to be the best online?
Worst TV Show: WWF Superstars
Thunder is a bad show, but Superstars takes the cake. They have recycled clips from Livewire, and then they try to show you behind the scenes looks at commercials or whatever. However, those behind the scenes things are recycled from other past shows. Then, the hermaphrodite, Kevin Kelly, hosts it. God, he's annoying!
|Worst Pay Per View of 2000: WCW's
Great American Bash 2000
From the Human Torch match to the Franchise vs. A-Wall (Get it?) match, this card was a pain in the ass to watch. This was at the peak of Russo's retardation period, just before he tried to SHOCK the world with the Hulk Hogan work at the next Pay Per View.
Most Missed Opportunity: WWF with Tazz
Tazz came into Royal Rumble with a great entrance, by choking out Kurt Angle. So where is Tazz now? He's hosting fucking Mtv Heat!! How stupid is that? The WWF's lamebrain booking, this year, has hurt many careers or opportunities.
Biggest Goof Award: Scott Hall
Who else is worthy? He blew a good chance of returning to wrestling by getting arrested several times during his ECW stay. He'll never fix his life, no matter how many chances he gets. Now, he burned down bridges in ECW, WCW, and WWF. Good job Hall, as you could have been one of the greatest ever. (Note: Juvy comes in a close second)
|Worst Mic Skills: Chyna
Easy choice here. She gave us LONG interviews to cry through; crying meaning suffering in pain. Chyna strives to keep her spanish accent up, and she tries to act like a lady sometimes so that fans can pity her. Bad Tito has no pity for nobody. Take this award, and get some speech lessons!
Worst Comeback to Wrestling: Stone Cold Steve Austin
Austin proved that he's still stuck in 1998, by doing the SAME catch phrases and so forth. His return didn't do shit for the ratings, although the WWF is fucking blind in that aspect.
#That's all for the WORST of Wrestling Awards here on Bad Tito. If you don't like it, then tough cookies for you. How about apples?