BAD TITO - The Extra Column done by Mr. Tito, who also writes the Phat Daily Column.  Sort of call this a column to blow off steam or just to have fun writing.  Originally a special part of the Evolution, it now makes it home on the Phat Pharm.  Enjoy.

-Mr. Tito

Once again, your hero has arrived for another edition of the Bad Tito.  Now, I'm sure many of the "monkeys" that I discussed in my last column are waiting for me to strike again.  Actually, those pieces of shit aren't worth my time this week, as I have another "heat-seeking" column in mind.

However, we can make a conscience effort to attack those sites.  They are currently using,, or the rumored to be bankrupt .com).  So if you see a site that lies, steals news, or has bad content, why not do us all a favor and contact their advertisers and clearly tell them what they are doing.

Those kiddie webmasters don't need to make thousands off those ad companies, especially when those companies have no idea how badly they are getting ripped off.  So be sure to help everyone out by nailing these so-called sites. 

But that's not the topic for today.  In my Phat Daily Column, I've always teased a theory about Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Rock sort of having very secure positions in the WWF for their main event statuses.  Almost too Hulk Hogan secure?


Rock and Austin:  Hogan split into Two?

Call me chickenshit or whatever for not doing this for the PDC, but I really didn't see a way to include this within the current column format.  Plus, this way I can curse like a truckdriver!  Whoooo!

So let me see here....  let's describe Hulk Hogan during his WWF years.  For the most part, Hogan had a non-stop push for his character from the mid 80s to 1990, where he'd only lose a match if he was making a movie, for example, when he lost the belt and disappeared after Wrestlemania 4.  Sure, Hogan was a major draw then, but how long could it last?

After Wrestlemania 5, it was very evident that Hogan's career was going downhill in the WWF.  Fans were starting to enjoy the Warrior now, and many fans also grew up as well.  No dreams or vitamins to push anymore..  So then, we get Hogan as the megaface in 1991 with Sgt. Slaughter, and the WWF shoved Hogan's American pride down our throats, and only to lose the title to the Undertaker in a cheap fashion, which wouldn't hold up because Hogan wanted the title to be held up in controversy.  He had some considerable control over that.

When Hogan's cheers were obviously dropping, his booking or creative power took over, and Hogan took advantage of the WWF's small drop in numbers to make him champion again in 1993 at the WORST Wrestlemania ever, WM 9.  Hogan REFUSED to put over Bret Hart here, and only agreed to lose to Yokozuna in a very cheap fashion, which again, he booked.  He then left the WWF when they wanted him to job to more wrestlers.


So what the fuck does this have to do with Rock and Austin???  That's easy, they are both in the same position as Hogan was, only sharing some of his properties.  Austin has the marketable force behind him, with the insane merchandise sales, and the Rock has Hogan's superstardom, with his new movie fame and so forth.

However, it's the other things which made this column possible!  Let's look at Steve Austin for example.  Before he was injured in 1999, his ego was overinflating!!!  He REFUSED to work with Mr. Ass, Jeff Jarrett, and a cast of others just for a regular match on RAW or Smackdown at the time.  JUST FOR A REGULAR FUCKING MATCH!!!

That's all.  Austin would only feud with the so-called main eventers at the time, and he wouldn't even put them over!!  Take Triple H, who is the best damn performer in wrestling today.  Before the Game was the man, his next step in his career was to go over Austin.  However, since Austin has creative control over his character, he vetoed putting over Triple H.  Why?  I'm pretty sure he knew that Triple H was younger and ready to take his spot, or so he thought.

That's why Mick Foley was shoved in their feud for Summerslam 99, because Austin refused to drop the belt to Triple H.  So what happened?  Austin dropped the title to Mick Foley, and Mick dropped that very belt to Triple H the next night on RAW.  Yes, Mick is a very honorable man, and Austin isn't.  Why?  EGO.  Just like Hulk Hogan did with Bret Hart, Austin wouldn't let Triple H rub off of him.  How fucking pathetic.


So Austin takes a long time off, and since the WWF is in panic mode due to lower RAW numbers, they decide to give him what he wants when he returns.  He did return, and now he books his matches or storylines!!!  That's right, so a good bit of these stupid sketches we see on RAW/Smackdown are his ideas! 

Just look at him though...  he resembles the 1993 Hulk Hogan so much!  He's trying his same old catchphrases, gestures, and due to the neck injury, is about as mobile as Hogan was then.  In fact, his return has buried wrestlers like Benoit, Guerrero, Jericho, and so forth.

Recent EGO sighting for Austin:  When he destroys the current World Champ, Kurt Angle for no reason.  They aren't even feuding, and for two straight RAWs, Austin gave him the stunner for NO REASON WHATSOEVER.  Why?  Austin booked it, and it's sort of out of fear that Angle will get larger than him.  Also, look at this past RAW with the Radicals vs. Chyna/Billy G/Austin/Rock.  Did you notice how he was avoiding Chris Benoit???  Notice how he was the one who get the final win at the end, cleanly, over Eddie Guerrero? 

He has Hogan's ego, downfall effect, and the ability to hold down younger talent to screw the future.


As for the Rock.....  let me say, for the record, that this guy has NO EGO WHATSOEVER, and is probably one of the best professional athletes out there in any federation.  Let's get that straight before some of you tell me to eat pancakes or to shove my computer up my candy-ass, mmmmk?

HOWEVER, the Rock's comparison to Hogan is that the WWF tries to make this guy untouchable.  No opponents can ever insult the Rock back, or make fun of him in any way.  Look at Jericho the other week before the #1 contender's match against the Rock.  Jericho dogged him so hard in that interview, and what happens?  It's never heard of again.

Triple H did an imitation of the Rock one RAW, and what happened?  Well, those imitations just stopped after that week.  You see, instead of wrestlers or heels badmouthing the faces or the untouchable faces (Austin, Rock, or Hogan), they only give them cheap beatdowns that would murder someone in real life.  Instead, they are back and kicking the next night of wrestling.  However, their opponents aren't allowed to rip on the Rock because the WWF is sooooo scared of losing image, just like they were with Hogan.


Like Hogan, the Rock's opponent will always get the best of him during a televised show, only to ensure that the Rock will get the big win at the Pay Per View.  What kind of fucking incentive is there to buy a Pay Per View when the Rock wins every time?  Same with Hogan, as when he'd get attacked, he'd "hulk up" and destroy his opponent. 

Why again?  Because like Hogan, the Rock is in the WWF's good graces in that they can survive off of one man, and NOT an entire company.  They think fans just come to see the Rock or Hogan....  I'll admit, they have a nice chunk of the audience, but you are only successful when your whole company is loaded.

That's the problem with the WWF now.  Guys like Benoit, Jericho, Guerrero, and even Angle aren't allowed to look good with the "Hogan twins" or Rock/Austin around.  They must be on the backburner when they are around, just like it was when Hogan was around. 

The Rock, for the past year, continually headlines Pay Per Views against Benoit or Angle, but NEVER lets them win... except for Angle recently.  Even with that, they are making Angle look like a fool because Austin is kicking his ass every week. 


What happens if they are both hurt, huh WWF?  You put so much stock in these guys, without building the rest of the company, and you'll get burned.  The WWF is lucky, then, to have an always healthy Hulk Hogan back in the late 80s/early 90s.  Austin went down last year, but the Rock then took the spot for himself and was defeating everyone, except for Triple H.

Austin is back, and all of the young talent that the WWF has gained is now ignored.  The audience has changed too, and many have since forgotten about Austin.  Hey, isn't that just like Hulk Hogan in 1993??  Isn't that ironic?  Don't doubt that Austin will get that World Title very soon, especially since Vince McMahon doesn't seem to have much faith in Angle as champ right now.

Plus, Guerrero and Benoit have been shoved into the Radicals angle full time now, so just let the future go down the toilet.  Oh yeah, that Jericho guy isn't doing much either now as well, especially since Hulk Austin has returned.  Oh wait, I mean Steve Austin...where are my manners? 

Unless the WWF forces or books The Rock or Stone Cold Steve Austin to start putting over the younger talent, or at least showing some vulnerability, then we'll be stuck in 1992 all over again, where the WWF was overly stacked with great talent, but that talent couldn't shine since the WWF was so hellbent on making the Rock and Austin superheroes....  but yet it's so hard to see the attendance and ratings numbers dropping.......

-Mr. Tito