BAD TITO - The Extra Column done by Mr. Tito, who also writes the Phat Daily Column.  Sort of call this a column to blow off steam or just to have fun writing.  Originally a special part of the Evolution, it now makes it home on the Phat Pharm.  Enjoy.

-Mr. Tito

Oh joy, just when you thought it was safe on the internet, another Bad Tito has been unleashed.  Yes, you better run while you can, because this one is going to get nasty. 

Why?  Because I speak the truth(mostly) when ranting like a motherfucker in these columns.  The best Bad Tito columns were when I'd rip apart the garbage on the internet, like for example, the 14 year old webmasters of domain name sites(which mommy always buys), who think they are top shit or just do the dumbest things for hits.

In fact, I've clashed with a few of these morons, trying to prove me wrong when I write these fucking columns.  Yep, keep your lying up, because it won't do you any good against me.  Let's just randomly rip the shit on the internet, shall we??  Maybe I might repeat myself in this column, but it's always good to repeat stuff that morons just don't get.


Barrels Full of Monkeys

Yes, it's just complete shit all over the internet, and these guys call themselves wrestling fans.  Nope, they aren't.  They are nothing but greedy little bastards, who want to make money to go pimpin' on Friday Night at the Mall.

Fuck them.  You know, I've done many rants on the internet, and many other writers have as well. These kids don't give a fuck as long as those banner companies pay up every month.  Some kids have been reported to be making thousands off the internet from wrestling sites.  How do they do this?

1.  Women of Wrestling

You see, these little fuckers search high and low to STEAL the best women pictures on the net.  Places like the official sites of the women, and even, they steal the pictures and LOAD them up with banners.

What the?!?  That's right.  Everytime you *look* at a piece of ass, it gives them banner money.  So imagine how much cash you are making for them if you check out the WHOLE gallery. 

So their compiled collections of stolen pictures and just playing off their own age's hormones is getting them cash.  All just because they whore their banners all over a simple stolen wrestling chick picture.


2.  Stolen or made up news

You can't fucking tell me that a fucking 15 - 17 year old kid has wrestling sources.  Whoever the fuck tells you that is SOOOOO full of shit, it's ridiculous.  They are doing the following:

A)  Stealing the news off news sites, and claiming it as their own.  NO CREDIT is given, because they don't care for the site they STEAL the news off of.  They just want to make their site look good, and if those "higher up sites" were smart, they'd make up news themselves to catch those retards in action.

B)  Claiming to have INSIDE SOURCES!  How in the fuck could a 15-17 year old have inside wrestling sources?  That's horseshit, and anybody who claims that is so damn ignorant.

C)  Making up news, which you will see like "RAW Spoilers", or EXCLUSIVE news that you'll see on their site only, and the same news that the "big wig" insiders strike down.  Gee, I'd hate to be a wrestler and see fucking little kids making up news about me.  Especially on garbage like the "Lex Luger has AIDS" headline that some little piece of trash tried to pass as news.



3.  Crediting News

Anybody else laugh at how these kids try to credit sites?  "Thanks to so and so", when they really went to the site to get the news.  Do those sites send their news to these little kids?  NO, the FUCKING DON'T! 

Why would they send their news to these kids anyway?  I'd be pissed if I saw someone using "Thanks to Mr. Tito for contributing", when I wouldn't even think to send that bullshit to them.   

As I said above, most of them don't even credit at all.  Especially that big Monkey who the title is named after.



Notice how their banners are plastered everywhere??  I can't fucking believe ad sites like,, and are shelling out advertisement dollars to reject 15 year olds who run corrupt sites. 

Seriously, those 3 ad companies give out thousands a month to guys who will DO ANYTHING to jack up the CPMs, or revenue off impressions.  I'm talking about cheating on hits, whoring their stolen news to around 20 sites for a cheap plug, and even going as far as making deals with warez or porn sites about an Iframe to get them extra hits.

It's dirty, and I question the stability of UGO, IGN, and UBO for making their deals with those dirty sites.  Don't they realize that the users of those sites will NOT buy anything off their advertisers???  Hello??


5.  Site Designs

Yep, these morons pay someone off to give them a HUGE site makeover, and they make sure they have ALL OF THE CGI to run the site for them.  You can't tell me those 15 year olds are that smart to run a site with such designs.  They can't, so someone programs their site to be run by CGI.

If you don't know what CGI is, it's what makes posts, or it could make update listings, and so forth.  In fact, I have talked to a few webmasters who do that, because they don't know HTML.  Isn't that the whole point of being a webmaster, to know HTML? 

Not for those "monkeys", as that's too much work for them.  Instead, they just throw something in a posting url, LOADED with banners, and that's the pile of shit of a site you'll see.


But all in all, these sites are a fucking joke.  I can't wait for the day that those ad companies actually look at their publishers and NAIL them to the wall for such a shitty site. 

And these webmasters or monkeys will brag to you on how many hits they get, and so forth.  Uh huh, if those sites were sooooooo big, then the WWF and ECW would come knocking at your door.

Every big site has been slapped by ECW and the WWF for having multimedia, so if your site has a lot of ECW and WWF media, then you aren't a big site since they didn't bust you yet. 

Yes, you like that?  So before you brag on how many hits you have, just remember that you ain't shit until the WWF or ECW busts you.  Don't even "claim" to have a fucking deal with them, because that will not work. 

So enjoy having lots of pictures of Trish Stratus, Francine, Tori, Dawn Marie, and so forth from WWF and ECW, because your site is weak if you still have media containing them. 

You like that?  I could suggest a banana for the monkeys, but instead....

-Mr. Tito