| BAD TITO - The Extra Column done by Mr. Tito, who also writes the Phat Daily Column. Sort of call this a column to blow off steam or just to have fun writing. Originally a special part of the Evolution, it now makes it home on the Phat Pharm. Enjoy. |  |
| BAD TITO - The Extra Column done by Mr. Tito, who also writes the Phat Daily Column. Sort of call this a column to blow off steam or just to have fun writing. Originally a special part of the Evolution, it now makes it home on the Phat Pharm. Enjoy. | |
| The most evil column on the net is back! Well, not
really, but it wouldn't be a bad assumption considering I have stirred
up so much stuff. Many internet sites are pissed at me(I don't
care for them, really), along with the many individuals who didn't agree
with last week's "drug references" column. Just remember
that this column is only used to go off FOR FUN, and it shouldn't
really be considered seriously.
Well, then again, if you have your own strong opinions on sensitive topics, or if you are one of the MORONS, who are boardwhores, false-pluggers, or just money grubbing, then you could get offended. It's just a matter of opinion in this curse word loaded column. It's more of a humor column and just a fun project for the wonderful Phat Pharm. That's all it is...or is it? Well, this week, I'm listening to the readers! By request, the great Jaymz, dedicated author of the great Dead Bodies Everywhere, will once again get interviewed. This comes after our insane interview from a few Bad Titos ago. Actually, I'm lying there. We tried to do a wrestling version of Eminem's Guilty Conscience, but since neither of us are rappers nor are we Dr. Dre or Eminem, we decided to not look bad and look good with an interview. Fun for you all! |
| Tito vs. Jaymz Part 2
Mr. Tito: Welcome to the SECOND installment of the ongoing series...interviewing the sick and twisted Jaymz. Mr. Tito: So how have you been since the last disaster, also known as our last chat? Jaymz: great! Mr. Tito: Still have Britney Spears tied up to the wall? Jaymz: no, I moved on Mr. Tito: To who? Jaymz: Denise Richards Mr. Tito: Oh my. Mr. Tito: The rumors of the Britney engagement Jaymz: yeah, I couldn't take it Jaymz: I said.."listen here....I can't take |
| Mr. Tito: Since this is supposed to be a WRESTLING CHAT, let's discuss
wrestling.
Jaymz: oooh yeah, lets Mr. Tito: So would you take on Justin Timberlake in a match, with Britney on a pole? Jaymz: no, because Britney would be Jaymz: oh wait Jaymz: I could kick his ass Mr. Tito: LOL Mr. Tito: It's Gonna Be You? Jaymz: No!! I just got rid of that song out of my head Jaymz: It's gonna be meeeeeee Mr. Tito: Wait! You gotta squeeze Jaymz: ouch! |
| Mr. Tito: ANYWAY
Jaymz: lol, let's talk about Mr. Wrestling 3 Mr. Tito: Val Venis? Jaymz: Mr. Tito, oh yeah I mean Val Mr. Tito: Ha! Val is terrible now! His gimmick got him nowhere, and now that he has NO gimmick, he's even worse! Jaymz: I actually enjoyed the porn star gimmick Jaymz: hell, my DAD even did! Mr. Tito: Probably the worst IC champ in my recent memory. Jaymz: yeah, I say we get Tito on Raw Mr. Tito: LOL. It was funny at first, but it obviously didn't take his career anywhere. God, he even has that bag of silicon walking to the ring with him, and he still can't get over. Jaymz: you come out and do a 20 minute interview to set up the match Mr. Tito: I've turned down the invitations, many times.... Jaymz: yeah? I was called up to be a manager for Goldberg Mr. Tito: No way? To shoot against Russo? Jaymz: well, they never told me for what....but I had to decline |
| Mr. Tito: Oh. Tell the viewers out there what you think WCW is compared to. Jaymz: my nutsack? Mr. Tito: LOL, that's nasty Jaymz: see, the thing is, I love the performers in WCW Mr. Tito: Yeah, same here. Jaymz: but the management is terrible Mr. Tito: Yeah. Plus, the oldies still want to wrestle. Jaymz: yeah, I say kick them in the knee and let them go away Mr. Tito: Now is that nice? Jaymz: No...but isn't this Bad Tito? Jaymz: lol Mr. Tito: Yeah, fuck it. Let's shoot on various topics, shall we? Jaymz: by all means Jaymz: let's |
| Mr. Tito: Other internet sites......
Jaymz: suck Mr. Tito: Remember, do NOT mention names Mr. Tito: We don't want to lose lots of money now, do we? Jaymz: that Internet money is like $5 of US dollars Mr. Tito: Now, we don't mean all sites suck...just those ones run by boardwhores and complete retards. Jaymz: yeah, I'm scared to death of retards Mr. Tito: And we know who will read this column out there.... Mr. Tito: Especially that VERY BAD person, eh Jay? Jaymz: you mean the one who wanted my number? Jaymz: yeah Mr. Tito: The one who wants a piece of us Mr. Tito: Any thoughts for this "individual"? Jaymz: actually, just you now Mr. Tito: oh Jaymz: we cleared our differences I think Mr. Tito: Well, they can keep writing for the 5 people who read it. Jaymz: the thing is, I would rather talk to the person rather than do it through a column Jaymz: and that's the point you tried to make a few weeks back Jaymz: haha Mr. Tito: I try to do the same thing, but they are just to scared to contact me Mr. Tito: Indeed. Will those fucks ever get it? Jaymz: tell them to email you for your screen name....see who is big and bad Mr. Tito: Sure. If you "kiddies" are out Mr. Tito: I don't know where those savages get stuff like that. Where would I Mr. Tito: oops! |
| Jaymz: isn't your screen name JonnyAppleseed?
Mr. Tito: I believe Jaymz: anyway, next topic maestro Mr. Tito: Sure. WWF....stale or not? Jaymz: as a WWF mark...it hurts to say it Jaymz: but yes Jaymz: but can they help it? Mr. Tito: No. I'd slack off too if I was against a federation run by Vince Russo and inmates. Jaymz: hahaha, "inmates" I like that Jaymz: Russo can't help it Jaymz: did I just say that? Mr. Tito: Poor you. Mr. Tito: I think he can Jaymz: he can't help the fact that we don't like his ideas anymore Mr. Tito: I believe he's out of his mind right now, and has nobody spanking his ass when he comes up with stupid ideas...like Vince McMahon did. Jaymz: I like to get my ass spanked Jaymz: wait... Jaymz: uh...oops? Mr. Tito: At least tell us by who Mr. Tito: Don't you dare say my mom! Jaymz: no, she doesn't hit hard enough Mr. Tito: Because if you come around her one more time... Mr. Tito: Oh? Jaymz: yeah, she thinks I can't take it...but I think that's another edition of Bad Tito |
| Mr. Tito: It sure is. Speaking of editions of Bad Tito, what did you think of
last week's...you know, the one with the Drug References in wrestling?
Jaymz: this is hard for people who know me both on and offline but Jaymz is drug free Jaymz: and they don't have any place in wrestling Jaymz: I mean...really...you want to worship a man in lime green dickeys with drugs? Jaymz: what about the younger fans? "Hey, dipshit does it...why not me?" Mr. Tito: It's funny on the feedback for last week's column. Many thought I was bashing drug use...but I wasn't. It was just the references, like RVD's 4:20, Kronic, Godfather, and so forth.. Mr. Tito: Yeah. They don't understand how many kids look up to these wrestlers. Mr. Tito: Hold on!!! We are talking serious here! Mr. Tito: This is Bad Tito, not Oprah! Jaymz: I know....are you sure I'm Jay? Mr. Tito: We need to get trashy like Jerry Springer, to keep the talk show Jaymz: you want me to charge you with a chair? Mr. Tito: Sure. We'll call it a shoot, ok? Jaymz: alright, watch my back though....at times it gets a bit stiff Mr. Tito: Haha, sure. Since this is a "shoot". Oh wait, you just told me to watch the back. It's a WORK!!! Jaymz: dammit....I took lessons from Russo Jaymz: this is a "shoot" right? ok...let me see...."Fuck off Tito!" Jaymz: how's that? Jaymz: oh...I'm not supposed to ask that...cause I mean it...right? Mr. Tito: Well, now that you started it...."KISS MY ASS BITCH!!!!" See, I'm shooting too! Mr. Tito: Yeah, you shouldn't ask. Jaymz: Tony Shitvone: "Now they are improvising the column." Mr. Tito: Maybe we could have an announcer ask "is this real?" Jaymz: we aren't improvising! Mr. Tito: haha! We were on the same page with that one. Mr. Tito: Yeah, I call it "half-assed" Mr. Tito: BIG difference Jaymz: well, you had a better idea Jaymz: but I couldn't hold up my end Mr. Tito: Like this chat....I was too lazy to write a Bad Tito, so I decided to interview you again. hehe Jaymz: lol, yeah, I'm the only one you can find Jaymz: nobody wants to shoot the shit with you Mr. Tito: Yeah. I tried to get one of those HIGH PAID internet reporters, who I've mentioned a few weeks ago, but they said "no" Jaymz: I'm high paid Mr. Tito: Yeah, you make more than me! Jaymz: yeah, and you've been at your workplace longer Jaymz: sucker! Mr. Tito: Damn it! And I hired you too! Jaymz: see, it's your fault Mr. Tito: Somebody better call my momma Mr. Tito: Oops, I stole a catchphrase Jaymz: haha, well momma your ass on to the next topic Jaymz: ooops! I did it too Mr. Tito: Let me try again: I'm from Calgary........Alberta, Canada Mr. Tito: Oh shit, I keep saying these repetitive catchphrases! Jaymz: *tapping pen against desk* Jaymz: I had the Canadian National Anthem in my head Mr. Tito: Let's get serious here..haha Jaymz: I can try Mr. Tito: Don't blame Bad Tito, blame yourself! Jaymz: damn straight! Mr. Tito: Damn it. I must be in catchphrase mood tonight. Jaymz: haha, hey!! Jaymz: that's mine! Jaymz: now you asked for it Mr. Tito: Gonna threaten me with your wtf.mpeg videos? Mr. Tito: By the way, present us a link for those wonderful readers who have NOT seen it yet. |
| Mr. Tito: No longer exists? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Jaymz: I took it off because I didn't feel like getting booted off again Mr. Tito: What happened? Mr. Tito: Damn those Tripod people! Jaymz: I still have all 8 (6 of which were uploaded) on my computer Jaymz: but I have to deny the good people the pleasure of seeing people eat puke Mr. Tito: Shhhh! Why? Mr. Tito: We fooled everyone last chat. Jaymz: I know!! but I can give them a good surprise this time too Jaymz: you know Jay Mr. Tito: Oh? What will be the surprise? Mr. Tito: Hopefully, it's not a Bill Goldberg heel turn..... Jaymz: no no, I was gonna have Ultimate Warrior return Mr. Tito: I thought he died? Jaymz: yeah, I meant Warrior #15 Mr. Tito: Ohhhh. The one who calls himself Warrior Jaymz: the one with the face paint and all...yeah him Jaymz: have you ever read one of his columns? Mr. Tito: Although his same name has always remained Jim Hellwig. Mr. Tito: Yeah. God damn those are confusing. Jaymz: the guy is....let me try to be PC.......fucked up Mr. Tito: Then again, I'd be fucked up if I was brought into WCW with NO HEAT Whatsoever and to be forced to job to Hulk Hogan! |
| Mr. Tito: Anyway Jaymz.....ready for the One Word association shit to end this
disaster?
Mr. Tito: Although that your AOL of yours has froze up 2 times.... Jaymz: lol Mr. Tito: Oops! Did I say AOL? I mean, um, Yahoo! Chat. Jaymz: Lycos! Jaymz: Excite Mr. Tito: LOL Mr. Tito: Indeed. Good old Excite chat. Mr. Tito: Anyway, ready for the one word association? Jaymz: let's do the one word association before my "Excite Chat" (wink Mr. Tito: Yeah. I don't want my "Excite Chat" to crash my computer either. Mr. Tito: ARE YOU READY?? Jaymz: I said.....yes? Jaymz: lets go Mr. Tito: I said..... ARE YOU READY??? Jaymz: LET'S GO!!!! Mr. Tito: For the thousands here in the arena...and the millions reading out Mr. Tito: Ok, here goes |
| Mr. Tito: Russo
Jaymz: Tito's lying...there's only 2 in attendance Mr. Tito: shhhh! Don't tell the world, just like we've almost told everyone we have AOL Instant Messenger! Jaymz: Russo, hurting for attention Mr. Tito: Val Venis Jaymz: hahaha...washed up in his second year Mr. Tito: Ouch. "Shoot" interviews Jaymz: you mean shoot or "shoot"? Mr. Tito: Shoot Interviews.... Mr. Tito: You know, the stuff going on in WCW. Jaymz: I think those are called "works" Mr. Tito: Ha! Mr. Tito: Our Last Bad Tito Interview Jaymz: it reeks of awesomeness, but this one is handing it a bucket of hainosity Mr. Tito: LOL. Here's one: Retards who laugh at the Phat Pharm Jaymz: it works! Brad Nelson, Tony G, Krueges, Warpath, myself and others Mr. Tito: All great writers! Here's another great one: TNN Jaymz: Mr. Tito: I really can't WAIT for the WWF to have to put over Roller Jam. That will be sooo funny! |
| Mr. Tito: Well, Jaymz, that's all for this travesty also known as our second
interview.
Jaymz: I would have to say so Jaymz: thank you for inviting me once again Mr. Tito: Yep. Any last thoughts? Jaymz: maybe I'll do a 20 Questions with you Mr. Tito: Yeah!!! Jaymz: that would sooo rule Mr. Tito: Yeah, totally! Mr. Tito: Wait, are we Edge and Christian now? Jaymz: well, we are totally awesome right? Jaymz: so I would say so Mr. Tito: We at least try. Well, it's been fun again, and could we see part 3 to Jaymz: yeah, but let's use "Yahoo Chat" next time...this "Excite Chat" sucks....(*wink wink) Jaymz: until we meet again on AOL INSTANT MESSANGER...I mean....bi bi Mr. Tito: You mean Bye, Bye, Bye, right Mr. "N'Sync music stuck in my head" Jaymz: ooooh....I think I stole a catchphrase Mr. Tito: I agree. This AOL INSTANT MESSENGER sucks! Oops, I did it again! Jaymz: I played with your heart......I'm not that innocent! Jaymz: ooh, I said too much Mr. Tito: haha! Till next time... Mr. Tito: Don't eat children. |
| Alright, want to see an different Bad Tito next
week? Want me to cover a controversial wrestling related
topic? You know the E-mail address, so please let me know!
By the way, Jaymz's e-mail is Jaymz@lordsofpain.net if you want to bother him or harass him for this interview. Remember, mine is mrtito@lordsofpain.net if you have a problem with me. Yes, don't write a column on us, come to us if you have a problem. How hard is that? Ain't No Thang, |