BAD TITO - The Extra Column done by Mr. Tito, who also writes the Phat Daily Column.  Sort of call this a column to blow off steam or just to have fun writing.  Originally a special part of the Evolution, it now makes it home on the Phat Pharm.  Enjoy.

-Mr. Tito

The most evil column on the net is back!  Well, not really, but it wouldn't be a bad assumption considering I have stirred up so much stuff.  Many internet sites are pissed at me(I don't care for them, really), along with the many individuals who didn't agree with last week's "drug references" column.  Just remember that this column is only used to go off FOR FUN, and it shouldn't really be considered seriously.

Well, then again, if you have your own strong opinions on sensitive topics, or if you are one of the MORONS, who are boardwhores, false-pluggers, or just money grubbing, then you could get offended.  It's just a matter of opinion in this curse word loaded column.  It's more of a humor column and just a fun project for the wonderful Phat Pharm.  That's all it is...or is it?

Well, this week, I'm listening to the readers!  By request, the great Jaymz, dedicated author of the great Dead Bodies Everywhere, will once again get interviewed.  This comes after our insane interview from a few Bad Titos ago.  

Actually, I'm lying there.  We tried to do a wrestling version of Eminem's Guilty Conscience, but since neither of us are rappers nor are we Dr. Dre or Eminem, we decided to not look bad and look good with an interview.  Fun for you all!  


Tito vs. Jaymz Part 2


Mr. Tito: Welcome to the SECOND installment of the ongoing series...interviewing the sick and twisted Jaymz.

Mr. Tito: So how have you been since the last disaster, also known as our last chat?

Jaymz: great!

Mr. Tito: Still have Britney Spears tied up to the wall?

Jaymz: no, I moved on 

Mr. Tito: To who?

Jaymz: Denise Richards

Mr. Tito: Oh my.

Mr. Tito: The rumors of the Britney engagement 
bother you?

Jaymz: yeah, I couldn't take it

Jaymz: I said.."listen here....I can't take 
this shit no mo'!"


Mr. Tito: Since this is supposed to be a WRESTLING CHAT, let's discuss wrestling.

Jaymz: oooh yeah, lets

Mr. Tito: So would you take on Justin Timberlake in a match, with Britney on a pole?

Jaymz: no, because Britney would be 
on my pole

Jaymz: oh wait

Jaymz: I could kick his ass

Mr. Tito: LOL

Mr. Tito: It's Gonna Be You?

Jaymz: No!! I just got rid of that song out of my head

Jaymz: It's gonna be meeeeeee

Mr. Tito: Wait! You gotta squeeze 
your nuts to say it like N'Stync

Jaymz: ouch!


Mr. Tito: ANYWAY

Jaymz: lol, let's talk about Mr. Wrestling 3

Mr. Tito: Val Venis?

Jaymz: Mr. Tito, oh yeah I mean Val

Mr. Tito: Ha! Val is terrible now! His gimmick got him nowhere, and now that he has NO gimmick, he's even worse!

Jaymz: I actually enjoyed the porn star gimmick

Jaymz: hell, my DAD even did!

Mr. Tito: Probably the worst IC champ in my recent memory.

Jaymz: yeah, I say we get Tito on Raw

Mr. Tito: LOL. It was funny at first, but it obviously didn't take his career anywhere. God, he even has that bag of silicon walking to the ring with him, and he still can't get over.

Jaymz: you come out and do a 20 minute interview to set up the match

Mr. Tito: I've turned down the invitations, many times....

Jaymz: yeah? I was called up to be a manager for Goldberg

Mr. Tito: No way? To shoot against Russo?

Jaymz: well, they never told me for what....but I had to decline


Mr. Tito: Oh. Tell the viewers out there what you think WCW is compared to.
Jaymz: my nutsack?

Mr. Tito: LOL, that's nasty

Jaymz: see, the thing is, I love the performers in WCW

Mr. Tito: Yeah, same here.

Jaymz: but the management is terrible

Mr. Tito: Yeah. Plus, the oldies still want to wrestle. 

Jaymz: yeah, I say kick them in the knee and let them go away

Mr. Tito: Now is that nice?

Jaymz: No...but isn't this Bad Tito?

Jaymz: lol

Mr. Tito: Yeah, fuck it. Let's shoot on various topics, shall we?

Jaymz: by all means

Jaymz: let's


Mr. Tito: Other internet sites......

Jaymz: suck

Mr. Tito: Remember, do NOT mention names

Mr. Tito: We don't want to lose lots of money now, do we?

Jaymz: that Internet money is like $5 of US dollars

Mr. Tito: Now, we don't mean all sites suck...just those ones run by boardwhores and complete retards.

Jaymz: yeah, I'm scared to death of retards

Mr. Tito: And we know who will read this column out there....

Mr. Tito: Especially that VERY BAD person, eh Jay?

Jaymz: you mean the one who wanted my number?

Jaymz: yeah

Mr. Tito: The one who wants a piece of us

Mr. Tito: Any thoughts for this "individual"?

Jaymz: actually, just you now

Mr. Tito: oh

Jaymz: we cleared our differences I think

Mr. Tito: Well, they can keep writing for the 5 people who read it. 

Jaymz: the thing is, I would rather talk to the person rather than do it through a column

Jaymz: and that's the point you tried to make a few weeks back

Jaymz: haha

Mr. Tito: I try to do the same thing, but they are just to scared to contact me

Mr. Tito: Indeed. Will those fucks ever get it?

Jaymz: tell them to email you for your screen name....see who is big and bad 
enough to actually IM you 

Mr. Tito: Sure. If you "kiddies" are out 
there....wait, I don't have a screen name, remember? hehe

Mr. Tito: Tito DOES NOT exist on 
AOL.  I don't know who on earth claims I have one of those!

Jaymz: liars...all of them!

Mr. Tito: I don't know where those savages get stuff like that. Where would I 
get AOL from? **Here's the instant message noise** 

Mr. Tito: oops!


Jaymz: isn't your screen name JonnyAppleseed?

Mr. Tito: I believe

Jaymz: anyway, next topic maestro

Mr. Tito: Sure. WWF....stale or not?

Jaymz: as a WWF hurts to say it

Jaymz: but yes

Jaymz: but can they help it?

Mr. Tito: No. I'd slack off too if I was against a federation run by Vince Russo and inmates.

Jaymz: hahaha, "inmates" I like that

Jaymz: Russo can't help it

Jaymz: did I just say that?

Mr. Tito: Poor you.

Mr. Tito: I think he can

Jaymz: he can't help the fact that we don't like his ideas anymore

Mr. Tito: I believe he's out of his mind right now, and has nobody spanking his ass when he comes up with stupid Vince McMahon did.

Jaymz: I like to get my ass spanked

Jaymz: wait...

Jaymz: uh...oops?

Mr. Tito: At least tell us by who

Mr. Tito: Don't you dare say my mom!

Jaymz: no, she doesn't hit hard enough

Mr. Tito: Because if you come around her one more time...

Mr. Tito: Oh? 

Jaymz: yeah, she thinks I can't take it...but I think that's another edition of Bad Tito


Mr. Tito: It sure is. Speaking of editions of Bad Tito, what did you think of last week' know, the one with the Drug References in wrestling?

Jaymz: this is hard for people who know me both on and offline but Jaymz is drug free

Jaymz: and they don't have any place in wrestling

Jaymz: I want to worship a man in lime green dickeys with drugs?

Jaymz: what about the younger fans? "Hey, dipshit does it...why not me?"

Mr. Tito: It's funny on the feedback for last week's column. Many thought I was bashing drug use...but I wasn't. It was just the references, like RVD's 4:20, Kronic, Godfather, and so forth..

Mr. Tito: Yeah. They don't understand how many kids look up to these wrestlers.

Mr. Tito: Hold on!!! We are talking serious here!

Mr. Tito: This is Bad Tito, not Oprah!

Jaymz: I know....are you sure I'm Jay?

Mr. Tito: We need to get trashy like Jerry Springer, to keep the talk show 
reference going.

Jaymz: you want me to charge you with a chair?

Mr. Tito: Sure. We'll call it a shoot, ok?

Jaymz: alright, watch my back times it gets a bit stiff

Mr. Tito: Haha, sure. Since this is a "shoot". Oh wait, you just told me to watch the back. It's a WORK!!!

Jaymz: dammit....I took lessons from Russo

Jaymz: this is a "shoot" right? ok...let me see...."Fuck off Tito!"

Jaymz: how's that?

Jaymz: oh...I'm not supposed to ask that...cause I mean it...right?

Mr. Tito: Well, now that you started it...."KISS MY ASS BITCH!!!!"  See, I'm shooting too!

Mr. Tito: Yeah, you shouldn't ask.

Jaymz: Tony Shitvone: "Now they are improvising the column."

Mr. Tito: Maybe we could have an announcer ask "is this real?"

Jaymz: we aren't improvising!  

Mr. Tito: haha! We were on the same page with that one.

Mr. Tito: Yeah, I call it "half-assed"

Mr. Tito: BIG difference

Jaymz: well, you had a better idea

Jaymz: but I couldn't hold up my end

Mr. Tito: Like this chat....I was too lazy to write a Bad Tito, so I decided to interview you again. hehe

Jaymz: lol, yeah, I'm the only one you can find

Jaymz: nobody wants to shoot the shit with you

Mr. Tito: Yeah. I tried to get one of those HIGH PAID internet reporters, who I've mentioned a few weeks ago, but they said "no"

Jaymz: I'm high paid

Mr. Tito: Yeah, you make more than me!

Jaymz: yeah, and you've been at your workplace longer

Jaymz: sucker!

Mr. Tito: Damn it! And I hired you too! 

Jaymz: see, it's your fault

Mr. Tito: Somebody better call my momma

Mr. Tito: Oops, I stole a catchphrase

Jaymz: haha, well momma your ass on to the next topic

Jaymz: ooops! I did it too

Mr. Tito: Let me try again: I'm from Calgary........Alberta, Canada

Mr. Tito: Oh shit, I keep saying these repetitive catchphrases!

Jaymz: *tapping pen against desk*

Jaymz: I had the Canadian National Anthem in my head

Mr. Tito: Let's get serious here..haha

Jaymz: I can try

Mr. Tito: Don't blame Bad Tito, blame yourself!

Jaymz: damn straight!

Mr. Tito: Damn it. I must be in catchphrase mood tonight.

Jaymz: haha, hey!!

Jaymz: that's mine!

Jaymz: now you asked for it

Mr. Tito: Gonna threaten me with your wtf.mpeg videos?

Mr. Tito: By the way, present us a link for those wonderful readers who have NOT seen it yet.


Mr. Tito: No longer exists? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Jaymz: I took it off because I didn't feel like getting booted off again

Mr. Tito: What happened?

Mr. Tito: Damn those Tripod people! 

Jaymz: I still have all 8 (6 of which were uploaded) on my computer

Jaymz: but I have to deny the good people the pleasure of seeing people eat puke

Mr. Tito: Shhhh! Why? 

Mr. Tito: We fooled everyone last chat.

Jaymz: I know!! but I can give them a good surprise this time too

Jaymz: you know Jay

Mr. Tito: Oh? What will be the surprise?

Mr. Tito: Hopefully, it's not a Bill Goldberg heel turn.....

Jaymz: no no, I was gonna have Ultimate Warrior return

Mr. Tito: I thought he died?

Jaymz: yeah, I meant Warrior #15

Mr. Tito: Ohhhh. The one who calls himself Warrior

Jaymz: the one with the face paint and all...yeah him

Jaymz: have you ever read one of his columns?

Mr. Tito: Although his same name has always remained Jim Hellwig.

Mr. Tito: Yeah. God damn those are confusing.

Jaymz: the guy is....let me try to be PC.......fucked up

Mr. Tito: Then again, I'd be fucked up if I was brought into WCW with NO HEAT Whatsoever and to be forced to job to Hulk Hogan!


Mr. Tito: Anyway Jaymz.....ready for the One Word association shit to end this disaster?

Mr. Tito: Although that your AOL of yours has froze up 2 times....

Jaymz: lol

Mr. Tito: Oops! Did I say AOL? I mean, um, Yahoo! Chat.

Jaymz: Lycos!

Jaymz: Excite

Mr. Tito: LOL

Mr. Tito: Indeed. Good old Excite chat. 

Mr. Tito: Anyway, ready for the one word association?

Jaymz: let's do the one word association before my "Excite Chat" (wink 
wink) freezes up again

Mr. Tito: Yeah. I don't want my "Excite Chat" to crash my computer either.


Jaymz: I said.....yes?

Jaymz: lets go

Mr. Tito: I said..... ARE YOU READY???

Jaymz: LET'S GO!!!!

Mr. Tito: For the thousands here in the arena...and the millions reading out 
there...let's get READY to Shoot!!!!

Mr. Tito: Ok, here goes


Mr. Tito: Russo

Jaymz: Tito's lying...there's only 2 in attendance

Mr. Tito: shhhh! Don't tell the world, just like we've almost told everyone we have AOL Instant Messenger!

Jaymz: Russo, hurting for attention

Mr. Tito: Val Venis

Jaymz: hahaha...washed up in his second year

Mr. Tito: Ouch. "Shoot" interviews

Jaymz: you mean shoot or "shoot"?

Mr. Tito: Shoot Interviews....

Mr. Tito: You know, the stuff going on in WCW.

Jaymz: I think those are called "works"

Mr. Tito: Ha!

Mr. Tito: Our Last Bad Tito Interview

Jaymz: it reeks of awesomeness, but this one is handing it a bucket of hainosity

Mr. Tito: LOL. Here's one: Retards who laugh at the Phat Pharm

Jaymz: it works! Brad Nelson, Tony G, Krueges, Warpath, myself and others 
are all proof

Mr. Tito: All great writers! Here's another great one: TNN


Mr. Tito: I really can't WAIT for the WWF to have to put over Roller Jam. That will be sooo funny!

Mr. Tito: Well, Jaymz, that's all for this travesty also known as our second interview.

Jaymz: I would have to say so

Jaymz: thank you for inviting me once again

Mr. Tito: Yep. Any last thoughts?

Jaymz: maybe I'll do a 20 Questions with you

Mr. Tito: Yeah!!!

Jaymz: that would sooo rule

Mr. Tito: Yeah, totally!

Mr. Tito: Wait, are we Edge and Christian now?

Jaymz: well, we are totally awesome right?

Jaymz: so I would say so

Mr. Tito: We at least try. Well, it's been fun again, and could we see part 3 to 
this fucking saga?

Jaymz: yeah, but let's use "Yahoo Chat" next time...this "Excite Chat" sucks....(*wink wink)

Jaymz: until we meet again on AOL INSTANT MESSANGER...I bi

Mr. Tito: You mean Bye, Bye, Bye, right Mr. "N'Sync music stuck in my head"

Jaymz: ooooh....I think I stole a catchphrase

Mr. Tito: I agree. This AOL INSTANT MESSENGER sucks! Oops, I did it again!

Jaymz: I played with your heart......I'm not that innocent!

Jaymz: ooh, I said too much

Mr. Tito: haha! Till next time...

Mr. Tito: Don't eat children.


Alright, want to see an different Bad Tito next week?  Want me to cover a controversial wrestling related topic?  You know the E-mail address, so please let me know! 

By the way, Jaymz's e-mail is if you want to bother him or harass him for this interview.  Remember, mine is if you have a problem with me.  Yes, don't write a column on us, come to us if you have a problem.  How hard is that?

Ain't No Thang,

-Mr. Tito