|BAD TITO - The Extra Column done by Mr. Tito, who also writes the Phat Daily Column. Sort of call this a column to blow off steam or just to have fun writing. Originally a special part of the Evolution, it now makes it home on the Phat Pharm. Enjoy.|
|Doctor Hung Low: Nurse, check this guy's pulse. Who is this now?
Nurse: You mean Mr. Tito?
Doctor Hung Low: Yes. Isn't he the kind, gentle guy who writes a daily column?
Nurse: Why yes he is...he wouldn't hurt a flea. OH MY GOD!!! HE HAS NO PULSE!!!!
Doctor Hung Low: Oh shit! BAD TITO HAS RETURNED!!!!
FINALLY...........the Bad Tito has come back... *cough* *cough* Yes indeed. After 2 shocking, thrilling, and exciting editions of Bad Tito, I decided to keep up my streak of actually doing this column, and NOT slacking off with it. The last two columns have sparked some interesting opinions about the internet world. Since the last two Bad Tito columns, some "reporters" have changed their ways by plugging their sites with good content, and not ******EXCLUSIVE****** Yer MOM IN THE SHOWER WITH STEPHANIE! ****CLICK HERE****, or crap like that. All I can say is thank God.
However, I do have something on my mind I'd like to discuss. It sort of results from this column, as it is an opinion of the whole internet, and not just one person. If I wanted to bash a single person, or persons, I'd flame them all in this very column. But I don't, because that's for pussy "rage" boards to do with their second grade grammar. Wait...rage boards? You know, those sites where those children post stuff about the reporters, columnists, or sites they hate. Individuals can also "flame" someone via message boards, chats, or in a "wrestling" column. This is Bad Tito.
Wonderful Opinions1st Amendment: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government of a redress of grievances.
Everyone has an opinion. Since everyone has an opinion, how is it expressed? Well, online, you can express it to many via posting it on a message board, or just going in chats and telling it like it is! Others will write columns, and so forth. How do you express that opinion? Well, if you don't like an individual who writes a column, state in a professional way. Notice how the first amendment has "peaceably" in it, to show you that is should be in a nice, reasonable way to express your opinion.
Well, many don't understand that. Since I write a column, daily, my opinions are thrown out online each and every day. With that being said, if I have opinions that anger any individuals, they could bash me in some kind of form. They will usually write how my "column SUX", or whatever their immature, 5 year old, uneducated self will do.
How do the do this? A few ways of course!
|ONE: On a wonderful message board. Message boards are public, and usually made by an online provider. Anybody from anywhere can sign up for one, as they are free, and post their opinions for many other message boards users to read. So if they have an opinion, they will post it, and others could agree or disagree with their opinions.
However, many just use the message board as their personal grounds to bash me or others. Just because they have free access to the board, they feel they can show how "tough" they truly are by posting a flaming message. With normal webpages, usually with Newsboards or whatever, individuals are hired to write, and they aren't given free access: they must earn it. What does that mean? The quality of the flaming posts goes WAY DOWN because any crazy motherfucker can write whatever they want. They are like this:
"OHHHEHhehehe! Look at ME! I gots accesssssses on dis Message bored! I hate that fuker Tito! Fuk him! He'd a duchebag!"
See, no professionalism there at all. Not saying that anybody on a Message Board is ignorant, but for a good part, those who are can't express good criticism are now doing so.
|TWO: Chats are a big place, where a whole bunch of buddies get together and talk shit on a reporter or his mother. Well, anyway, they join up with each other, and bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch till the cows come home! In some cases, these fellas will talk shit, and when the individual who is getting bashed enters the chat, they are all nice to him. Awwww. Let's look at one of these chats by these kiddies:
BrainDead: LMAO!!!! I hate dat site.
Dummy: I do too! They won't hire me, so fuck them! I hate that site, and I'll NEVER GO THERE AGAIN!!!
VerySupid: I used to be a part of that site...but now that I'm gone, and was fired for being a GOD DAMN ASSHOLE, I hate them! Wahhhhh!!!
dumfuk: Yeah! His opinions are shit! Fuk him!
*****Mr. Tito Enters the Chat*****
dumfuk: Hey Tito!! Great column!
VeryStupid: Hi Tito! Man, I still love the site to death, even though I no longer work there.
Dummy: How can apply to work there for my favorite site in the World???
BrainDead: I go there everyday!
Mr. Tito: Ever heard of recording transcripts fellas? Bunch of two faces, FUCK OFF!
*****VeryStupid, dumfuk, Dummy, and BrainDead quit(K-Lined, did NOT have the balls to tell me when I'm actually in the chat)
|THREE: We have our wonderful RAGE boards. Here we go:
"OOOOHH!! I am GOD cause I can talk shit on people with a post!!"
These guys are the same as those on the message boards or chats, as they don't write anything professional, and they flame because of the usual shit: not getting accepted to a site, hated opinions, and so forth. There is usually some retard heading up these boards, and he usually hires all of his buddies, and they flame because they are simply flaming guys.
FOUR: The "Wrestling Columnists". Yes indeed. I love how the guys who were hired to write a "wrestling" column try to rip me. It's sooooooo funny, because they are doing it on a "wrestling" newsboard, and NOT a messageboard, Rage board, or a chat. They are supposed to write about wrestling, but they write about an internet writer. Please tell me if that makes sense? For one, many don't know who the internet writer is that you are ripping, and two, the writer has to resort to ripping on another writer to "get heat" for their column because they can't get their column appreciated for their WRESTLING opinions on a WRESTLING newsboard.
|Where is this leading though? I've been a columnist for almost 2 years now, and I've seen my share of flamers since I write opinions up everyday. Everyone is bashing me for their own cheap heat instead of, and I quote Mongo here, "going to the horse's mouth", which means that nobody comes to me when they have problems with my column or whatever else. No guts whatsoever to go directly to me. That's All I ask. But nooo, we have to rip on someone in public. Not guts, more like no balls. The e-mail address is firstname.lastname@example.org if you have a problem.
That's all for this edition of Bad Tito. Oh wait, I'm going to break the no names given code for one week, and one week only for a joke. Since these "kids" deserve it lately, here goes:
Joey Dambrose and Fred Cook are walking in the woods together. They happen to stumble upon a sheep, with its head caught in the fence. Fred Cook sees this opportunity, pulls down his pants, and begins to buttfuck the sheep like there is no tomorrow. After 5 minutes of ramming the sheep, Fred Cook says: "Hey Joey, it's your turn". Joey Dambrose pulls down his pants, and sticks his head in the fence.