BAD TITO - The Extra Column done by Mr. Tito, who also writes the Phat Daily Column.  Sort of call this a column to blow off steam or just to have fun writing.  Originally a special part of the Evolution, it now makes it home on the Phat Pharm.  Enjoy.

-Mr. Tito

Welcome to another edition of Bad Tito.  This week, since I'm short on time and thoughts about the wrestling/internet world, I've decided to interview one of the first ever Phat Pharm writers, Jaymz.  He started out here with Dead Bodies Everywhere, and eventually landed on the LoP Main Page.  Reminder that Bad Tito is an uncensored column, and these following comments should be taken with discretion or something?  Whatever.


Mr. Tito: Well, well, well....if it isn't Jaymz

Jaymz: what a pleasant surprise

Mr. Tito: So how does it feel to be a part of Bad Tito?


Jaymz: I AM! It feels pretty cool. Ever since I read the first one on Evoloution....

Jaymz: I have been hooked...I was sad to see it go

Mr. Tito: Hey now, it's back!

Mr. Tito: Anyway...enough bullshit about me...what about you?

Jaymz: what about me?

Jaymz: lol

Mr. Tito: How does it feel to be one of the first Phat Pharm columnists?
Jaymz: ok, 

Mr. Tito: Do you feel all tingly inside when you think about it?

Jaymz: I read a post one day on the PDC and thought to myself "Hey...I might make it on there...why not try?" Then you turned me down

Mr. Tito: I turned you down?

Jaymz: and then 10 minutes later, you took it back

Jaymz: yep...I still have the e-mail too

Mr. Tito: Oh yeah. I remember...I "thought" about it

Jaymz: yeah!


Mr. Tito: I think I was just finding a place in my heart for your column.....anyway

Mr. Tito: Remember your old times here at the farm?

Jaymz: and being the "blackheart"...the sole survivor...of the Pharm left...I feel like a real winner!

Mr. Tito: Remember your second column?

Jaymz: I remember after the 2nd DBE, I got soooo much hate mail!

Mr. Tito: We both got the hatemail for that one!

Jaymz: that was great!

Mr. Tito: hahaha!

Mr. Tito: I remember saying "Jaymz...kinda tone it down..if you want"

Jaymz: LoP had never had a columnist say "cum puddle" in a column before!

Jaymz: yeah, I got away with so much

Jaymz: and still do!

Mr. Tito: Yep. What was I thinking?

Mr. Tito: hahaha, just kidding!

Jaymz: really

Jaymz: you know...I did write that other daily column too

Jaymz: before DBE was born

Mr. Tito: Tell the World about this...

Jaymz: yeah, only I was "semi-daily" longest streak was one week. I didn't care, I would come in from class in the morning, type up some it and be on my merry way

Jaymz: then I applied for a weekly column too
Mr. Tito: Where at?

Jaymz: the webmaster turned me down


Mr. Tito: Who the fuck did that? 

Jaymz: well, he ain't around anymore haha

Mr. Tito: And you are. Hmmmmm

Jaymz: a V3 site

Mr. Tito: ANYWAY, tell us how you got the idea for "Dead Bodies Everywhere"

Jaymz: Actually, I was listening to it when I wrote the sample....and it was on the part that just said "Dead Bodies 

Jaymz: but the title originally was supposed to be "Candyass Commentary"

Mr. Tito: It fits so nicely. Candyass would have got my foot up your candyass for that one.

Jaymz: hahaha

Mr. Tito: If you smelllllll, what the baking.

Jaymz: that was the column I tried to get on with at the other site

Jaymz: lol

Mr. Tito: Oh. But you tried Dead Bodies Everywhere with me, and passed with flying colors, eh?

Jaymz: no

Mr. Tito: NO?!

Jaymz: you always told me "I oughta fire suck"

Jaymz: remember?

Jaymz: oh...wait, that wasn't you

Mr. Tito: Oh yeah. 

Jaymz: haha

Mr. Tito: Oops!

Jaymz: that was the readers


Jaymz: here is someting interesting that I remember about me

Mr. Tito: The best thing was seeing their hate for your vulgarity...turn into love.

Mr. Tito: What's that?

Jaymz: lol...I wouldn't call it "love"...they have to accept it or else!

Mr. Tito: Yeah!

Jaymz: oh, I was also a reporter before I was "Jaymz"

Mr. Tito: I think they fell in love with your celebrity matches.

Mr. Tito: Oh my. What was your name??

Jaymz: lol..fucking Geocities took one of those away

Jaymz: they deleted Kane vs. Barney because I used the account to host porn

Jaymz: but anyway

Jaymz: my name was "Big Juicy"

Jaymz: lol

Mr. Tito: Host porn..shame on you.

Jaymz: there is a story behind that name too

Mr. Tito: Oh my.

Mr. Tito: I hope it's not like the story of KoRn

Mr. Tito: hahahaha!

Jaymz: nah...hahah!!

Jaymz: here goes:

Jaymz: in Highschool, on my letter jacket it had "BJC" on it. (My initials) and this girl asked what they stood for

Jaymz: so I told her "Big Juicy Cock"

Jaymz: hahaha


Mr. Tito: Oh my God

Mr. Tito: WAIT!!

Jaymz: yeah, so my buddies started calling me "Big Juicy"

Jaymz: lol

Jaymz: oh....ok

Mr. Tito: This is supposed to be a wrestling column, right?

Jaymz: yeah...but whem Jay is involved..things go to Hell

Mr. Tito: Umm.....WWF or WCW.

Jaymz: Dude! WCW!!!

Jaymz: weren't you asking who sucked more?

Mr. Tito: Now that the wrestling part of it is out of the way....

Mr. Tito: I'm not sure?

Mr. Tito: Still have Britney Spears tied to the wall?

Jaymz: no...she had to go on tour

Mr. Tito: damn

Jaymz: yeah

Mr. Tito: Did you "wrestle" her while she was at your house?

Jaymz: damn straight!

Jaymz: I even invented a new hold

Mr. Tito: Oh?

Jaymz: "Invincible Spinning Wheel Of......"

Mr. Tito: Of what?


Jaymz: we never figured out that much, by this time she passes out

Mr. Tito: Oh my.

Jaymz: oh my indeed

Mr. Tito: I hear she really blew in the ring...

Jaymz: yeah she did...and she blows for a ring too

Jaymz: wait....

Jaymz: lol

Mr. Tito: Oops, you did it again!

Mr. Tito: ICP vs. Eminem....Cage match to the death! Who would win?

Jaymz: point your finger of shame on me

Jaymz: oh...let me see.....

Jaymz: is it "Slim Shady", Eminem, or Marshall?

Mr. Tito: Ummmmm....he could change into any of them at any time.

Jaymz: I would have to say Slim Eminem Mathers b/c the ICP guys love each other more when they are both hot and 

Mr. Tito: Wow, that's my answer too!

Mr. Tito: Anyway...what kind of drugs do you suspect Vince Russo to be on?

Jaymz: oh drugs...

Jaymz: drugs are bad mmmkay?

Mr. Tito: OR, is he just plain stupid.

Jaymz: well, he has that "Sylvester" lisp

Jaymz: is that caused by drugs?


Mr. Tito: LOL. Hey now, he was THE ONLY ONE RESPONSIBLE for the WWF's success.

Jaymz: yeah he was.....  NOT

Mr. Tito: Not that there wasn't great talent to work with, or the great mind of Vince McMahon...oh no, that wasn't there!

Jaymz: Vinny who?

Mr. Tito: Tell everyone how big of a Hulk Hogan fan you are.

Jaymz: what kind of drugs are YOU on?

Jaymz: I never heard of Vince McMahon...

Jaymz: hogan!

Mr. Tito: I'm hooked on wrestling...a very bad drug.

Jaymz: I love that balding bastard

Mr. Tito: Do you?

Mr. Tito: Tell us your reasons.

Jaymz: ok, he DID make wrestling. (Once) but then Vince McMahon took it to a whole new level. Without Hogan. 
Hogan needs to realize that he sucks

Jaymz: and that he just can't give us the "great" matches that he could at one time

Jaymz: and

Jaymz: that he is no longer "A Real American".....Kurt Angle is!

Mr. Tito: Yeah. I love how Lou Thez said that his grandma could do a better legdrop!

Mr. Tito: Kurt Angle = WWF's top future superstar

Jaymz: It's True


Mr. Tito: Bash at the Beach...gonna buy it?

Jaymz: does a mute girl scream when being violated?

Jaymz: nope

Mr. Tito: Oh my God!

Mr. Tito: What goes through your mind everyday?

Mr. Tito: What makes Jaymz tick?

Jaymz: honestly, I am not like this....this is my "slim shady"

Mr. Tito: Your Slim Shady? Do explain.

Jaymz: he once said "If you are sick enough to think are sick enough to say it."

Mr. Tito: Ohhh.

Jaymz: I think alot

Mr. Tito: Yes, from Koltershock, I can see that.

Jaymz: about ANYTHING

Jaymz: lol

Jaymz: Koltershock is my way of sharing interesting things I see on the net

Mr. Tito: Speaking of does it relate to wrestling?

Jaymz: well, we sometimes feature "wrestling" with lesbians....

Jaymz: does that count?

Mr. Tito: And that lady puking mist on that guy in the WTF series!

Jaymz: oh yeah....we should link thatfor people to enjoy

Jaymz: lol


Mr. Tito: LOL


Mr. Tito: There goes 60% of the readers....

Jaymz: nah...I'd say 65%

Mr. Tito: Yeah.

Mr. Tito: Poor souls.

Jaymz: really

Jaymz: imagine...the 2 sickest people on this site...together
Mr. Tito: Sick? Me?

Jaymz: in one column....what will we think of next?

Jaymz: yeah...remember Matilda?

Mr. Tito: Matilda?

Jaymz: you paid

Mr. Tito: Man, you must be thinking of yourself

Jaymz: the whips....nipple rings

Jaymz: don't hide Tito

Mr. Tito: Oh my God.
Jaymz: hey...come out from under that table

Jaymz: I see you

Mr. Tito: I plead the 5th!

Jaymz: come on....

Jaymz: there you go.....well...

Mr. Tito: Alright...time to wrap this bitch up

Jaymz: if we find you innocent of going to Matilda's...we can't charge you again

Jaymz: you did


Mr. Tito: I did not go there....

Jaymz: remember

Mr. Tito: NO

Mr. Tito: this chat!!!

Jaymz: oh

Jaymz: lol

Mr. Tito: Time for...everyone's favorite


Jaymz: <---lost

Mr. Tito: I say one word..and you give your thoughts on it.

Jaymz: oh!

Mr. Tito: As easy as Apple Pie

Jaymz: poontang

Jaymz: oh...we didnt' start

Jaymz: haha

Mr. Tito: whatever

Mr. Tito: LOL

Mr. Tito: here goes.....

Mr. Tito: Silicon Breasts in Wrestling

Jaymz: niiiiiice

Mr. Tito: WWF staleness

Jaymz: blah


Mr. Tito: WCW in 2 years

Jaymz: kids wont' know who they are

Mr. Tito: Backyard Wrestling

Jaymz: never done it...but would love to see it....maybe I should checkl out the links on the BBQ to get into it more

Mr. Tito: You should ----> Shameless Plug:

Jaymz: in that case

Mr. Tito: ECW on TNN


Jaymz: I love ECW, that was my first taste of ECW...but I hate the commercials....and hate TNN

Mr. Tito: Yeah. Same here.

Mr. Tito: La Parka

Jaymz: guy has moves....wish my knees were that limber!

Mr. Tito: Booker T

Jaymz: underated, and horribly misused

Mr. Tito: My mom

Jaymz: she had something to do with you....that counts against her, but I am very sure she is a very nice woman

Mr. Tito: Hey!!!

Jaymz: you should see the smile on my face

Jaymz: see my one tooth dangling down from my gum

Mr. Tito: and finally....Everything on LoP

Jaymz: everything on LoP...."LoP is a monster" as Boyd once said. It truly is. I am very happy to be a part of that, and it wouldn't be possible without that Phat Pharm know who I am referring to?


Jaymz: what is his name....

Jaymz: Micheal?

Mr. Tito: Yeah, who is that guy?

Mr. Tito: noo

Mr. Tito: Maybe Jermaine?

Jaymz: who?

Jaymz: Scott

Mr. Tito: No, not Mr. Jermaine....that's a BIG retard(more like retards)

Jaymz: sssss-s-s-s-stupid

Jaymz: there was another Jackson 

Jaymz: damn....

Jaymz: Mr. Jackson

Mr. Tito: Speaking of retards, get any offers to be a co-webmaster somewhere?

Jaymz: yeah, Mr. Jackson

Mr. Tito: LOL

Mr. Tito: Or any offers to host Koltershock by any certain wrestling sites?

Jaymz: actually, yeah. that and offers to host Koltershock in return for DBE

Jaymz: but let me say this

Jaymz: give me a dollar....and I might think about it. 
Jaymz: I mean uh

Mr. Tito: just a dollar?

Jaymz: no, I am very happy where I am

Mr. Tito: I'll give you $1.01 to stay here :)


Jaymz: even if I have to refresh my column to break 1,000 hits

Mr. Tito: LOL

Jaymz: nah, I do it all for the nookie

Mr. Tito: Shit, I have to refresh mine 6,000 times!

Jaymz: yeah, I pay my buddies a nickel for every 10 refreshes

Jaymz: but they get lazy around 10

Mr. Tito: Damn. 

Mr. Tito: Well, I think we've done enough damage here.

Jaymz: yeah, you have no fanbase left

Jaymz: lol..they all went to koltershock Hell

Mr. Tito: We are probably both going to get sued

Jaymz: no...I didn't use my real name....(call me "Jonny")

Jaymz: hahah

Mr. Tito: True

Mr. Tito: I didn't use mine either...Brad Renfro

Jaymz: I thought you said it was "A. Columnist"

Mr. Tito: I lie so much man!

Mr. Tito: OOOPS

Jaymz: maybe you should edit that out....Brad

Jaymz: I mean....uh

Jaymz: yeah

Mr. Tito: Ah, fuck it

Mr. Tito: Closing thoughts?


Jaymz: If you are going to make a proposition for me to leave LoP and go to your better:

Jaymz: A: hook me up with a ton of porn

Jaymz: or

Jaymz: B: Allow me to have as much fun and work with the best in the business..

Jaymz: which can only be done I guess LoP is stuck with me for now

Mr. Tito: That should earn you browny points.

Jaymz: I try...

Jaymz: like this

Mr. Tito: I have a closing thought to end this chat

Jaymz: I want to publicly kiss ass thank you for giving me the platform to become who and what I am

Jaymz: closing thought from Tito:

Mr. Tito: Why thank you. 

Mr. Tito: It was a pleasure to have you as part of this shitty column.

Jaymz: that shows your lazyness....Tito didn't want to type a column so he finds ANYBODY to do some inverview with

Jaymz: and he only found me

Mr. Tito: Yeah

Jaymz: little old me..

Mr. Tito: I was hoping for some jabronie from a Newzbored, but I found you

Jaymz: I thought I was your homey?

Jaymz: oh that wasn't you

Mr. Tito: Now that we have offended 99%

Mr. Tito: Time for the closing thought!!!

Jaymz: shoot

Mr. Tito: Closing thought: Who took a shit and called it the chat version of Bad Tito?


Click Here to scream at Mr. Tito for this interview.

Click Here to scream at Jaymz for this interview.

How do you like us now?

-Mr. Tito