BAD TITO - The Extra Column done by Mr. Tito, who also writes the Phat Daily Column.  Sort of call this a column to blow off steam or just to have fun writing.  Originally a special part of the Evolution, it now makes it home on the Phat Pharm.  Enjoy.

-Mr. Tito

     Behold, just when you thought BAD TITO was finished, it comes back for yet another week.  Last week, I made my return to respond to some recent criticism from some hypocrites, but only to see that those very people decided to hide.  But the evil and dark side of Tito lives on.......

 

     Now a lot of you are wondering what the fuck has happened to the Phat Pharm??????  Well, just consider this: 

 

6 columnists have left!!!!!!!

Yes, 6 columnists have left, leaving this pasture dry...or at least that's what others say.  That should answer many individual's criticism about the Phat Pharm.  Did I fire them?  Well, only one, and that's because that very individual only sent me a column once a month.  The other 5 are different.  4 of them have moved up to the Main Board, and those 4 were a very solid part of the stable.  I could rely on all 4 for a column, and a well wrote one, each and every week.  Those 4, by far, were my most solid columnists.  I miss them very much, and I wish them the best on the Main Board.  The last columnist resigned from the Phat Pharm due to personal conflicts, and he's welcome back to the Pharm whenever he wants to return.

 

     So there.  If you can't read that clearly, then go see an eye doctor.  Call this a "rebuilding" period for the Phat Pharm.  Before those columnists came, I experienced the same thing.  I get columns filling up my mailbox each day.  I am now looking for 4 Columnists to be hired and develop under the Pharm system.

 

     But what am I looking for exactly?  Yes, I'll admit it:  I'M VERY PICKY.  I'm sure many applicants have seen replies like "what else can you write" or "what other ideas do you have".  What the hell am I asking you there?  Let me explain....

 

     I've been on the net reading wrestling columns for about 2 years now.  I've seen everything from Uncensored columns to highly gimmicked columns.  I've seen every wrestler get analyzed, and I've seen every angle looked at.  I've been to many many sites, reading through columns each day.  Therefore, I know what is out there, and what has been done. 

 

     I've also seen the same kind of columns over and over.  Those which analyze news, predictions, and do the same things over and over.  Hell, I do this here and there with my other column, if you've heard of it, the Phat Daily Column.  So I think I know what I'm talking about on this.  So what exactly am I striving for when ciphering through applicants on columns?

 

     It's simple.  I look for originality.  I look for a columnist who tries things or writes things that have NEVER been done before on the internet.  I also look for unique themes and ways that a columnist presents their column.  I look for a lot of creativity as well, or just something very eye-catching.  I want columnists that readers can get hooked on easily...or at least ones that seem to me, like they will develop into that.

 

     The Fab 4, who were hired for the Main Board recently, had all of those.  During their column days, the Phat Pharm hits would go up.  I'm not saying I'm going after hits, but they way they presented their columns attracted more and more readers to the Pharm.  Whenever they took a week off, many readers would question me where they were, and so forth.  The fact remains that those columns were very catchy and the readers enjoyed them. 

 

     The final 3 that I have now, I see that in.  All 3, bBb, the General, and Judge Matt have excellent writing skills, and I enjoy seeing their columns get better each week.  I see bright futures for all 3 of those columnists.

 

     Back to the subject at hand...do you see where I'm getting at?  I post the Phat Pharm Requirements just so those wanting to become a writer here will understand.  That's all I'm asking.

 

     Let me say this:  I haven't had a column that has been poorly wrote for a while.  The ones writing columns to apply here seem to really want it, and are able to write.  With some great direction or ways to present their thoughts, then they could take a spot on the Phat Pharm

 

     Also, don't get mad if I turn you down.  All internet writing is NOT paid for, and it's a hobby.  It's not like you are being turned down by a high profile job.  Just a internet wrestling page which you are suppose to have fun writing at.  Remember...it's just a hobby.

 

     Oh shit, there's more?!?!  Yes.  Many of you are wondering why I don't use my usual catch phrase how about them apples?  Am I lowering myself to what others have to say about me using that phrase over and over again?  Am I burnt out from using the phrase?  Has Matt Damon threatened to sue me for using his great phrase from the great movie Good Will Hunting?  Um, actually no.

 

     Just never had a chance to use that wonderful phrase.  I never found it repetitive, as I did use that phrase many many times back in the day.  I used to always have a banner of that phrase at the bottom of my older Bad Tito columns.  Who knows, maybe I'll bring it back to annoy the ones who hated it the most...and you know who you are!!! 

 

Need I say more?

 MrTito@LordsofPain.net