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By Your Hero, Mr. Tito
   
Mr. Tito has gone mad!! He's gone insane, he's going crazy!!

Well, no actually, this is just a new column by the maker of the Phat Daily Column. It's a brand new and uncensored column in which I will rip the hell out of anything and everything. If there's anything in the wrestling world that Mr. Tito doesn't especially like, then it becomes a prison to my mental wrath. I will also have a re-butal to e-mail. Watch what you say or you could end up on the Phat Choping Block. Now onto the Show!

Oh no. Tito has taken some bad medicine, and Bad Tito has come back once again! Yes, all of the rage of the recent ECW marks war, Too Cool battles, and shots at Hulk Hogan are coming out for this one! Why am I wasting my time with this fucking into, time to get evil!

But first, time to discuss my Phat Farm. Yes, Al Birdy who wrote the Wrestling Newscast, and Ben Bliebman who wrote Ups and Downs are gone. Al Birdy was NOT fired, as I was questioned that a lot. He just resigned on me, and I can understand why. Birdy wrote a very good column for me everyweek, which involved a lot of comedy and some spectacular images. With that, I'm sure his column took a while to produce everyweek. I'm sure it was burning him out to spend a lot of time on his very entertaining column, so I understand greatly. With that, if Al Birdy wants to come back, I'd gladly re-hire him. He's a damn good talent.

As for Ben, you can see that he has made it on to the Main Board at LoP. Nothing but congrats to him, as he has busted his ass for me over the past few months. He's the first developing columnist that I hired, and he sent in a column to me each and every week. He was patient, and he built a good reputation on my Farm. He also was a good asset by welcoming incoming writers and also working with a few of them on columns as well. I'm glad that he's made it, as Ups and Downs was well wrote from the start. I saw great potential when he first e-mailed me his column, and I immediately hired him. Best of luck to him, and I'm proud of him.

As for the rest of the my writers....they are a great bunch of writers..allow me to elaborate on them:

Frank McHone...oh, where to start? Me and him go WAY back, as I've known the man for over a year. I've always loved his columns, as they mix great views with some great satire. He used to write a column called "Rants and Raves", which basically ripped everything he hated in wrestling or internet a new asshole. I respected him so much that I wanted him to be on my columns for the Monday Night grades to add a little twist to them. I gave him the gimmick as a college Professor, and it's stuck every since. He now writes a column here called Getting Educated, which is always a classic to read. Some have got on me for NOT firing him, but I wouldn't fire a great friend. Besides, the Phat Farm only consists of 6 columns, and Bad Tito and Getting Educated are added attractions. If I had more than 6 columns or columnists to work for, I'd be fucked on time. That's why there is only 6 developing writers.

Jaymz Coronado is another original columnist, who is another one who has busted his ass for me week in and week out. I hired him to be my "uncensored" columnist, by allowing him to say whatever he wanted. At first, he used the F-word in just about every sentence, but I still didn't mind, but we had to tone it down due to very angry readers. After that little incident, I have got nothing BUT great feedback on his column. His columns are very entertaining to read in my mind, and I'm glad that I hired him back in the day. He also works well with the other columnists, and I appreciate his hard work every week for the great Dead Bodies Everywhere.

The Kid, who writes Kidz Korner is a very impressive writer for his age. He has a very interesting view on the world of wrestling, and like Jaymz, he busts his ass for me everyweek. He has some great analogies which he includes in his column, and it's always a good read. The Kid has many good years ahead of him if he sticks with it, which from his hard work everyweek, I think it will happen.

Anthony Giordano, the man behind the G-Factor is a tremendous writer. He writes a very long and well wrote column everyweek, and he adds some great HTML work to his column which I admire. His HTML work allows you to pick and choose what you want to read, and what not. The second he e-mailed me about a spot, he was instantly hired when I saw/read his column. He has unlimited potential.

Brad Nelson was suggested to me by a few people, and I hired him after I read some of his work. I've seen a few of his columns on his pages, or at least thoughts on LoP's Message Board, and I really enjoyed his insight into the wrestling world. He writes Hindsight for Phat Farm, and he's got a good future ahead of him. Glad to have him aboard.

Yes, I take pride in my columnists. I try to help them out whenever I can, and I am open to suggestions or I'll give suggestions to provide any help needed. Yes, I do have 2 spots open right now. What am I looking for? Here is what I'm looking for, so pay attention!!

NO

NO Pay per view reviews, NO show reviews, NO angle reviews, NO match by match reviews, NO predictions, NO individual wrestler reviews, NO "here is what I think on this federation" columns, and NO column ideas that have been done before and/or something that resembles a column on the net.

What I'm Looking for...

I'm looking for something unique. Something somewhat original, and something with a great analysis on the wrestling world. It must have a very good and original theme, and it must have some good grammar for me to even consider hiring you. That's all that I ask!!

Some people consider me such a bastard for turning them down. Well, I do what's best for this Farm to keep running, and I just want a good variety of columns with a unique style. If I turned you down, you probably had something in the NO category. Nothing personal, as I'm sorry, but it's just business. I will say this though. There are some very good writers on the internet. Now if they got their ideas across to readers better, then they would be set. Nuff said

Well, I've had my share of "marks" wars lately...especially against ECW. I give them honest criticism, and the whole internet makes it a point to make poor Mr. Tito the target of ECW frustrations. Yay. All I can say is bring it. Many of those marks cursed me out, and they said that ECW is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Maybe if we were in 1996, I'd agree with that. Now, no way. Sure, it's a pretty good product considering that they have more limited resources. Their wrestlers bust their asses, and I have never said that they didn't. I only ripped ECW for not booking their Pay Per View in time, and I also give HONEST CRITICISM to their TNN shows. Maybe it's because I'm the only columnist who doesn't show a bias towards ECW.

Wow, I have bashed Too Cool with very small references, and nobody has wrote me hatemail for that. What am I doing wrong? Anyway, THANK GOD that Vince McMahon is back. I was getting really tired of the Triple H-Stephanie era. ZZZZZZZZZZ was what it was starting to amount to, and I'm glad that the WWF has given it 3 weeks, instead of the week before Wrestlemania before Vince came back. The WWF is dealing with a lot of power anymore, as they have Vince, and with Stone Cold returning to television, it's red hot. The only thing that seems to be able to stop the WWF is the WWF itself(hint hint: XFL failure or a bad lawsuit).

Yes, WCW is still in confusion, but we'll let the shills prove themselves when their boy, Bill Goldberg returns. They blame it all on Goldberg's injury, as I call it bluff. It takes an overall product to make it all happen. Just look at the WWF. They've kicked ass in the ratings without Vince and Stone Cold for a while. Without them, they worked around their other talent, which WCW just simply isn't doing. Oh wait, let's push a guy who is still rubbing off of his WWF gimmick(Jarrett) and someone who can't draw a flea anymore(Sid). Yeah, that and along with the continued boring storylines, WCW is still in badshape. I say GET NEW MANAGEMENT!

#Well children(kidding), that's all I have for this wonderful Bad Tito. Maybe I'll come back sometime next week, or whenever, for another glorious edition. I'll be back with more pain to unleash another time. See you later!

Not many apples to eat this week, but the banner is a tradition for this column!

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