Welcome back...to the Phat Daily Column. Today, it's the wonderful ECW Day! That's right, straight from the hardcore scene and the unfortunate channel called TNN. Only a handful of weeks before ECW is sent packing, since the Viacom deal will become effective. Today, we'll look at current issues of ECW, ECW on TNN, and of course, the newly added Jackson 5, ranking the top 5 wrestlers. On to ECW Day.
Are you ready? I said.....ARE, YOU, READY?!?!? For the ones reading this column on this wonderful Saturday morning and the ones who happened to stumble upon this column.....it's time for ROLLLLLLLLLLLER JAM!!! Ok, that was a joke...settle. Time for a mouthful of ECW on TNN.
Nova vs. Rhino
Tornado DDT by Nova, missed Swanton bomb, and a spear in the corner, which has a table. 1, 2, 3, easy win at 32 seconds, although the match was already started when the show started.
ECW on TNN Intro. Joey Styles and Joel Gertner in the ring. We are in Houston, TX tonight. I'm Joey Styles....and well, well, well, I'm Joel "I was with this girl Alexis, she couldn't get over how great the sex is, we did it in the back of a Lexis, and I fucked her in Houston Texas" Gertner. LOL!! Cyrus comes out, as repetitive as it is. Didn't we run this angle many months ago? Cyrus dogs Gertner for his Heatwave stuff. Cyrus says he has his "wrestling" license, and he says Gertner will be his first opponent! Highway to Hell hits the speaker, and the injured Spike Dudley comes down. One tough mofo there. Cyrus questions Spike, and Spike says "on behalf of the locker room, and the kind people here in Texas, would you SHUT the FUCK up?".
Spike says Paul E. isn't here, as he has business to attend. Paul E. assigned Spike to be the booker. Spike says "forget about it" on his Joel Gertner match, and says his first opponent of the night will be the Sandman. Enter Sandman hits, and he's in the crowd. Time to waste some time here with beers... Be right back!
Awesome ECW promo for the Extreme Revolution.
Hotline- Why make a cheap buck off other federation's news?
Commercial: 2 minutes and 29 seconds
Match #1: Sandman vs. Cyrus
Sandman canes Cyrus, and then both Rhino and Justin Credible, who run in. Credible gets the upperhand, and BAM, that's Incredible. Spike jumps on Rhino, but that only gets him a piledriver through a table outside. Credible canes Sandman many times, but Chilly Willy runs in! He makes the save, and bumps into Cyrus. Cyrus promises him money for no pain, but Willy gives him a Falcon Arrow bomb for 2 minutes and 11 seconds
Winner: No Contest, due to run ins
Commercial: 2 minutes and 30 seconds
FBI comes down, consisting of Tony Mamaluke, Big Sal, and Little Guido. DaveScherer.com replay shown of last week's FBI attack on Tajiri. Mikey Whipwreck comes in!
Match #2: Guido vs. Mike Whipwreck
Reversals, chops. Mikey on the top punching. More reversals. Good slam by Mikey, lowblow. Tilt a whirl slam, but then Guido misses a plancha. Mikey then splashes the whole FBI. He tries to give a plancha to just Big Sal, but he catches him. Mikey reverses it on Big Sal, and BAM, Sal into the corner. Superplex by Mikey on Guido, and Tony comes in to help Mikey get double side Russian legswept from the top. 2 Count only. Sicilian Slice by Guido, 2 count only. Snap mare, dropkick, 2 count only on Mikey. Whipwreck with a spinning DDT, and then gives him a nice Frankensteiner. Legdrop on the outside by Mikey, 2 count only. Awesome spinning Whippersnapper. Mamaluke comes off the top with a legdrop when Mikey covers Guido. Another pinm 2 count only. Big Sal hits Mikey, and Guido rolls him up. 1, 2, 3 at 5 minutes and 48 seconds.
FBI attacks Mikey, and Tajiri then comes down. Big Sal tries to chokeslam him, but we get some GREEN MIST!! After a super stiff kick on Big Sal, Tajiri and Mikey form an unhold alliance. Now that is a team.
Commercial: 3 minutes and 13 seconds
Extreme Replay of Tajiri beating Big Sal's ass. They show a preview of Hardcore TV with Rob Van Dam vs. Kid Kash. Wow, I wish I could see that. Kash looks to take him to the limit. Awesome looking match!
Gertner and Styles are talking, and Gertner is horny for Francine and her midgets. They preview the rest of the show.
Great moment here, as Joel and Joey bow their heads. They then show Gordon Solie's name. Wow, that was very nice of ECW.
ECW Video commercial again, and a Francine lifesize poster promo. Holy cow. I know what to order my brother for X-Mas, as he's the biggest Francine fan in the World! He actually has a framed autographed picture of her.
Commercial: 1 minute and 25 seconds
Match #3: Steve Corino vs. Tajiri vs. Steve Corino
Corino gets attackes by both to start, with a spinning heel kick and a clothesline over the top. Reversals and arm drags by Tajiri and Lynn in the ring. Springboard elbow by Tajiri on Lynn, and a kick on Corinio. Tarantula on Lynn!! Corino takes a cheap shot on Lynn. Dropkick by Corino, 2 count only. Reversals, cheap shot by Corino by Lynn. Baseball slide by Corino on Tajiri, and Lynn goes on the top and jumps on both opponents. Tajiri gets back in the ring, and he attacks Lynn with a mean kick. Reversed suplex, and a reversed belly to back. Frankensteiner by Tajiri, but a superkick happens to Tajiri, thanks to Corino. Green mist on Corino, but Lynn Cradle Piledrives Tajiri, 1, 2, 3 at 4 minutes and 4 seconds. Lou E. wipes the mist from Corino's face, and attacks Lynn. After a missed elbow, Lynn is now on the attack. Reversals, which eventually goes to a cool powerbomb by Corino. 2 count only. Blocked Tornado DDT by Cornio, but Lynn then suplexes Corino. 2 count only. Sideslam on Corino, and Lynn goes to the top. Corino hits him, and Lynn sunset flip bombs him. 2 count only. Reversal on a suplex, which leads to a reversed DDT by Lynn. 2 count only. Chops by Lynn, as Corino sells them like a man! Reversals here and there, body scissors on Corino, 2 count only. Lots of pins here, lots of pins there. Nice Bodyslam by Corino. Corino to the top, but Lynn knocks him down with a MEAN DDT. Jack Victory and Lou E. ruin any chances of Lynn winning this match, and Corino KILLS Lynn with a cell phone. 2 Count only. Damn that was rough. Reversal, but Anton is there to interfere. Corino gets in a superkick, 1, 2, 3 at 10 minutes and 23 seconds
Winner: Steve Corino
Network attacks Lynn, but Tommy Dreamer comes in for the save! Dead Bodies Everywhere!
Match #4: Scotty Anton vs. Tommy Dreamer
Dreamer threw in a ladder. Dreamer and Anton walk around the crowd. Jack Victory tries to attack Jazz, but Jazz beats his ass. We are up high in the crowd. Typical Dreamer here. He's the innovator of violence? They SLOWLY crawl to the ring. They are on the outside, and Dreamer rigs the Ladder with the Guardrail. They are on the ring apron, and Dreamer is punching him like Buff punches WCW workers. Dreamer tries a bulldog into the Ladder, but since Anton is NOT hardcore, Dreamer takes the bump. Anton puts the ladder in the ring, and Anton punches him. Back in the ring, with Anton attacking Dreamer. God, Anton sucks! Triple H knee by Anton, and he then sets up the ladder on the 2nd turnbuckle. Reversal, as Anton took a bump into the ladder! Wow, hell has froze over! Dreamer mocks Anton, and sets him up to the top. Dreamer attempts his Superplex off the ladder, and hits it. 2 count only. With chairs, Dreamer sets up the ladder for himself to take a bump on. Blocked suplex by Anton, and Dreamer is suplexed on the ladder. Damn, it bent when he hit it! Ouch! Anton tries to hit Dreamer with that bent ladder, and he tries his "Clapper". Horribly sinched in, and Jazz runs in and cracks Anton with the chair. Anton slams her, and Dreamer tries his DDT on Anton. Anton blocks that, but Lynn runs in and Cradle Piledrives Anton. Dreamer hits a top rope elbow, with a chair on Anton's face, 1, 2, 3 at 7 minutes and 37 seconds.
Winner: Tommy Dreamer
They show Billy Corgan's appearance from last week, because they can SMELL the ratings from last week. They hype BobRyder.com, since it has a written statement by Corgan and HOT Dawn Marie pictures. It's sort of like those kiddie reporters: ***GO To ECWWrestling.com for some SEXY and ALMOST NUDE Dawn Marie Pics***. They also discuss upcoming events, including one in Cleveland(anybody want to make the trip with Tito?), and their debut in Canada!
They show Cyrus, Rhino, and Justin Credible in the back. He bitches about what Sandman and Willy have done, and so forth. He decides to arrange the first round match of Justin Credible/Rhino vs. Sandman/Chilly Willy at the tag tournament. Credible is pissed, since he "shit" on the Tag Titles after he won the World Title. Rhino says he'll force Credible to wrestle that night, and then Francine comes in and runs her mouth as well. The show ends with Rhino babbling about Sandman, Willy, and whoever else he apparently hates.
But that final segment iced it though. They threw in two matches during that segment, and that was a brilliant idea to gain some ratings. You can't get the chance to change the channel when there are no commercials; that's why the WWF's opening interviews do so well. I believe ECW was under their commercial time, and that says a lot since commercial time is a vital source of revenue for ECW right now, especially since the TNN deal is now sour. This show definately deserves an
2. Rob Van Dam- Also improving off an injury, Rob Van Dam has turned it up a few notches as of late. Those clips of his match versus Kid Kash looked damn good, as I only wish it was on ECW on TNN. Give Rob Van Dam good opponents, and he'll be gold once again. Give him slugs like Rhino, then we have some trouble.
3. Tajiri- Like Lynn, he lost this week, but he continues to look great in the ring. Tajiri, by far, has the best collection of moves in wrestling. Too bad he's always getting the screwjob in his matches. Damn, those kicks are hard!
4. Steve Corino- He won a tough 3 way dance this week, and he still sells everything like a champ. Anybody who is willing to take the bumps and the shots he does, definately deserves a shot on this list! It's funny, because when I first started watching ECW again, I thought he was worthless. The past few months, Corino has forced me to respect him.
5. Rhino- Although he's just a big slug, he has been winning every match in sight. Hey, he's ECW's Bill Goldberg! To make Rhino really good, they need to give him some more violent moves to really get him over. I am glad that he uses a piledriver as his finisher, especially since that move is no longer appreciated as a finisher.
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@That's all for today. I hope you enjoyed today's ECW Day edition of the PDC. I'll be back tomorrow with the "Show of the Week", along with a new edition of Bad Tito to worry about.
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