Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages... Welcome the very last edition of Mr. Tito's Phat Daily Column. After nearly 4 years of attempting to put out material about wrestling daily, I will no longer attempt to write daily. In fact, I will now turn into a weekly and special columnist, as my material will be now seen on Tuesdays and special occasions.
So what's the new title of the weekly column, you ask? Try THE WRATH OF TITO on for sizes. That's it, named after the second Star Trek movie, "The Wrath of Khan". I'm not a big Star Trek mark, but I love that movie for some reason and I thought the title was fitting for my style of writing, I suppose. So on Tuesday, be ready for THE WRATH OF TITO, as I'll continue to review the show I love to hate, Monday Night RAW, among other things.
Before I get into the column, I want to throw out a few thank you's. First and foremost, to Mr. Calvin Martin, the man behind Lords of Pain. I want to thank him very much for giving me the opportunity in 1998 to join his site and become the daily columnist, despite no prior experience. He's backed me on EVERYTHING possible, whether it was personal projects, column ideas, or if I annoyed readers too much to where he's received complaints. There is no better webmaster out there than Calvin, and it's because of him why LoP has been the best wrestling site online for over 4 years now. He's the best, period.
Secondly, I want to thank all of the readers and supporters of the column. Without you, there is no Daily column. A column is nothing without its readers, and I'm glad that many of you stuck with me throughout my tenure, even when I was a total bastard sometimes. I do want to apologize to any reader that I've ever offended or never got back to through communication. I tried my best, everyday, to entertain you or to clearly explain my thoughts on professional wrestling. I do mean it when I say "thanks for reading" in every Phat Daily Column.
Finally, to anyone on the internet who I've somewhat became friends with. Sure, they say friendship online is nothing like it is in real life, but I really liked talking to LoP staff, loyal readers, or anyone on the LoP Message Boards. It was fun, and I hope to keep the good friendships up after the PDC.
It's been a great almost-4-year run here at LoP as the Daily Columnist, and I hope that I did at least a decent job at it. I wish luck and success to anyone who tries to take over the Daily spot, if there ever is one, given how hard it is to write about one federation, unless they watch more than I do. I enjoyed working here at LoP very much, and I'm grateful for everything.
Thanks a million.
But hey, I do have a job to do for today, so on to the PDC for one last time! Like always with the introduction, let's get off the subject a little bit. Why not?
By tomorrow, unless a half-assed compromise is reached, it's likely that Major League Baseball will go on Strike. That's just fine. NFL football couldn't have arrived at a better time. It's so sad to see how the stupid MLB owners can't even form a cohesive unit against the tough Players Union, and it's sad that the players don't even see how bad the league has become. Every year, there are at least 10 teams who know that they have NO CHANCE IN HELL of contending under the current economic system, and the owners have to run themselves into debt just to even put a team on the field. No such problem in the NFL, which by the way, starts their season next Thursday, BABY! So screw you MLB, and I hope this Strike, if it happens after presstime, fucks your whole league up forever.
That's a shame, too, because I've followed baseball closely lately. Hell, I even have tickets for the September 6th Pittsburgh Pirates game. I know the Pirates suck, but I'll still support them this season. MLB deserves to lose a lot during this strike, and fans won't care because the NFL is ready to go! YEAH!!!
Did you look at the RAW ratings breakdown? What did I tell you? The 3.9 rating is based on hours 3.7, which is quite high for a first hour, and a 4.1 rating in the second hour. Looks like something on RAW in the second hour didn't grab the attention of wrestling fans, eh? Yes indeed.
Oh yeah, a few shout outs to the fans who love to threaten me or yell at me. Ok, here goes... X-PAC SUCKS!!! ICP SUCKS!!! MATT BOONE SUCKS!!! JUSTIN CREDIBLE SUCKS!!! UNDERTAKER SUCKS!!! SCOTT HALL SUCKS!!! VINCE RUSSO SUCKS!!! FRED COOK SUCKS!!! STEPHANIE MCMAHON IS WORTHLESS!!! TRIPLE H IS A DOUCHEBAG!!! RIKISHI IS A BIG FAT TURD!!! KEVIN NASH QUAD INJURY WAS A GODSEND!!! Man, that felt good to let that all out for one last time. Oh yeah, how do you like those apples?
On to the PDC!
Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge. Good stuff once again between those two. They could have a freakin' blindfold match and they'd still make it look great. Hell, have a Judy Bagwell on a forklift match, and it will still be good. Guerrero got the DIRTY, DIRTY win the assistance of the chair and the froggy splash. See, give me this every week. Not two white guys bouncing off the Undertaker, eh?
Matt Hardy, take some damn acting courses, please.
Next match was John Cena vs. D'Von. What did Cena do to deserve losing to D'von? Here's a guy who took Kurt Angle to the limits, twice, and actually beat FORMER UNDISPUTED CHAMPION, Chris Jericho, on a Pay Per View. Anybody else seeing this sudden flaw in logic that this loss has? Oh, and don't give me that "D'Von beat Triple H" argument. Stupid, stupid, stupid.. Match was watchable, but the outcome was ridiculous. Are the RAW bookers here tonight?
We had a good Cruiserweight match between Rico and Rey Mysterio. Wow, you take the lid off of Rico, and look what happens... A GOOD FREAKIN' MATCH!!! I can't see the logic of the WWE writers keeping him as a manager for a now lameduck team who can't fight for the World Titles now. Argh! That was a wicket slam that Rico hit on Rey. It's nice to toss around guys who are short and only weighing 160 pounds. Good stuff with the crowd really into it, too.
Hardcore Holly is hardly ever on Smackdown now, and he asks for a spot in the #1 Contender's series. That made sense.
If I didn't know the spoilers ahead of time, I probably would have been in suspense about Stephanie's phone call. That was played out nicely, including Steph's screaming at Matt Hardy. Nice set up for a devastating squash. I don't even care for the welfare of the Hardys now, as the WWE jobbed them out too much for me to ever support them again. Damn shame.
Next match was Eddie Guerrero vs. Rikishi. Complete carry job for Guerrero here, carrying lard ass from one end to the ring to another. *Yawn* Chris Benoit would hit the ring afterward, and slap on the crossface for Rikishi. That was funny, too, because Rikishi had enough energy to break out of one later that night. Back that ass up out of the WWE, if you will...
More good cruiser action between Shannon Moore and Tajiri. Shannon Moore has been impressive, thus far, and it looks as though they are building him as a legit contender for the Cruiserweight title. Good, I'm happy for him, as he was very patient in waiting at the HWA developmental territory for the call up.
Chris Benoit vs. Rikishi was next. I was actually cheering on Benoit while he worked on the shoulder of Rikishi and was slapping on the crossfaces. It was kind of sickening, but hey Benoit rules the world, and Rikishi shouldn't even be on Smackdown. Nice hype promo, by the way, about Chris Benoit shown earlier. Well done. Benoit won the match, and he should have fought Angle in a one on one encounter, but Undertaker, I mean shit, happens.
I don't know why, but I laughed and enjoyed Funaki this week. "#1 Smackdown announcer". That's hilarious!
Next, Brock Lesnar beat the living crap out of Matt Hardy. Oh my... When he shoved his face after he hit the F5, it kind of scared me. You might as well build Lesnar up by feeding him midcarders and letting him manhandle them. I still wonder what will go on once he fights the Undertaker. Lesnar received face pops, again, making me wonder what the WWE will do with him next.
The final match was Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit. Benoit and Angle made the Undertaker look like a million bucks here, just like Angle and the Rock did at Vengeance. This is the only time that the Taker can ever look good in a match these days, which says a lot. You'll eventually run out of 3 way matches for the 'Taker to wrestle in.
Now, I threatened to curse like a truckdriver yesterday, but I'll be professional here. Here are REASONS WHY THE UNDERTAKER ON SMACKDOWN IS A BAD THING:
1) The age factor, as Smackdown reaches out to a more younger audience on UPN. Case in point when Hulk Hogan was Undisputed Champion and the Undertaker was afterward, the ratings dropped significantly.
2) Eventually, the Undertaker MUST put over younger talent, which the show is loaded with. Who has he put over? Maven? After the Royal Rumble and Hardcore title loss, Maven was squashed several times. Jeff Hardy? Just embarrassed him 2 weeks in a row. And so forth...
3) Lack of good matches. Aside from anything other than 3 way matches, what good matches has the Undertaker had recently? With Flair, possibly, but that was Flair carrying the whole thing.
And I could go on, and on, and on... It's a bad move, simply put. The WWE is panicing because Hogan and the Rock aren't the "star power" to carry the show. What about Angle? What about Lesnar? What about Edge, who the company seems to not let the Main Event tier yet, despite being more than ready? I think I've made my points clear.
And I liked Smackdown before the Undertaker. Nothing but good wrestling on the shows, without fear of a guy with long WWE tenure or backstage stroke screwing with the booking of the show. Now, the Deadman is here to ruin it all, probably squashing all of the up and coming superstars while he's there.
LAST WORD: I don't know what to say about this show. Thanks to Benoit and Angle, the main event turned out great. But it's the simple fact that they had to bump like maniacs to make the 'Taker look remotely good. The fight for the #1 contendership was kinda cool, a nice change up thrown by the Smackdown booking staff. Still, 4 guys are making Smackdown great every week (Angle, Benoit, Edge, and Guerrero), and they get very little credit for doing that. I'll give this show a
ONE MORE COLUMN!!!!!!!! August 31th, 2002, as I'll revise my famous NWO History column!
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@Farewell for the last Smackdown review and official PDC. Tomorrow, look around for the updated NWO history to be posted sometime during that day, and if not, sometime that weekend. Until then, fear THE WRATH OF TITO on Tuesdays!
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.