Welcome to AN EXTREME edition of the Phat Daily Column. If you crave violence, hardcore action, vulgarity, and whatever, then today is your day. What the hell am I talking about? ECW DAY!!!! Now, I've been getting some criticism for making Saturday, ECW Day. Many don't like ECW, and they only want just WWF or WCW, or both discussed on Saturday. Like I've said before, I wanted to do the ECW on TNN results. Plus, doing this type of column, every Saturday, helps me remain from becoming burned out. Before I declared Saturday ECW Day, my mind was fried on Big 2 topics. Hell, on Saturday, I discussed ECW on TNN more than I did the other federations anyway.
Besides, if ECW was given a better platform to show you their wrestling action, I'm sure a column like this would be in more demand. Maybe when ECW eventually gets another cable deal, they can reach more viewers who are in the clouds thanks to a sorry advertising campaign, as of late, by TNN. At least, let's hope so. For those of you who haven't checked out ECW yet, go ahead and do it. If you are angry with the big 2, it's a great alternative to check out. Well, anyway, let's discuss the recent ECW headlines in today's Fine Points. On to the PDC.
Time for ECW on TNN baby! Are you scared???
"This ain't yo' momma's ECW on TNN results!"
Oooooh, Thrill Zone Friday!!
ECW on TNN intro hits. Rhino and Justin Credible vs. Kid Kash and Rob Van Dam tonight! Cool! One side will carry that match. Joey Styles and Joel Gertner in the ring. I'm Joey Styles, and ....Joel Gertner: Well, well, well....tis I...Rhino interrupts in the back, with Francine and Credible. They are arguing about their match tonight and their titles. Wow, they suck so bad! If Rhino and Credible fight...good God. And I thought Hogan vs. Piper from Starrcade 96 was bad...
Hotline: ECW injury, more firings from WCW, where was Sting this week, Stone Cold speaks out about co-workers... 1-900-RUN4ECW baby! ECW Extreme Revolution video promo is shown. Hey, at least it's not those other videos that they keep playing from years ago.
COMMERCIAL, again, not timing these anymore. It's pointless.
Jerry Lynn comes to the ring. Alright, a great match coming! Lynn is getting a future title match after the Credible-Corino World Title match.
Match #1: Jerry Lynn vs. Bilvis Wesley
Bilvis is with his usual wastes of ECW money. The referee delays the match for some reason. Danny Daniels, that ref, says that he keeps getting bumped by Lynn in his matches. Crowd: "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" LOL! Ref says there is a bounty on Lynns ass. Lynn jacks the ref. Rhino comes in! Spear!! Lynn and Prodigee set up a table in the corner. Sidewalk slam on Lynn through the table. There goes the bounty. Match starts. Bilvis tries to take advantage, but Lynn fights back. Prodigee comes in, takes a Cradle Pile driver. Bilvis attacks, misses a top rope elbow. Cradle Piledriver on Bilvis, but Danny Daniels refuses to count. He says "you're disqualified!". Prodigette saves Daniels from a Cradle Piledriver, but she takes on instead. Gee, more women violence in ECW from men. Damn it!!!! Time is 57 seconds
Winner: Bilvis Wesley, referee's call, via Disqualification
1Wrestling dot com Extreme replay. Rhino slams Lynn into the table! Lynn and Gertner talk. Gertner: Joel 'Rhino may have interrupted my name, and that shows a lack of class; but that's ok, cause he could kick my ass" Gertner. Hype for the tag match later. ECWwrestling dot com promo, and Hardcore Television highlights for Tajiri vs. Psychosis. Hey, wasn't the TNN show supposed to get this??? ARGH! I guess it just goes to show you how much ECW cares for the TNN show since it won't get any advertisements or help from TNN. Looks to be a good match, and I'm sad because I LOVE recapping Tajiri matches. I want green myst, I want the Octopus, and I want those nasty kicks! I won't ruin this good match for those folks hoping to see it on Hardcore TV later.
COMMERCIAL. Damn it, I wish I had Hardcore TV. That Tajiri vs. Psychosis match looks awesome from the extended highlight reel I just saw. The purchase of Psychosis is paying off!
Sinister Minister in the back...but it's not him! He's talking, but it's Tajiri acting like him. Sinister Minister says Tajiri just crossed that fine line. Mikey Whipwreck comes in with shit all over himself. Oh my gosh, this stuff is soo messed up! Whoever writes it must be EXTREMELY screwed up in the head....but it is hilarious.
COMMERCIAL. Yuck, 1 minute segment followed by a commercial.
More Rhino/Credible vs. RVD/Kid Kash hype! ECWwrestling dot com promo, with results of tomorrow's show somewhere. More Hardcore TV with Doring/Roadkill/Dreamer vs. Anderson/Simon/Swinger. Hey, ECW on TNN is now a highlight show. Joy, joy, joy!! Very odd match from the highlights I see before me.
Hype for tomorrow's event, Credible vs. Corino. Rhino comes out. Justin Credible comes out with Francine and her two midgets...along with a broken nose this week. Credible is the Game-uhhh. He's that damn good! Too bad there is no Kurt Angle to be kissing his girl! HAHA! Gertner and Styles talk. Rob Van Dam comes out with Kid Kash. RE....SPECT! Both playing the crowd. They talk about how RVD respects Kid Kash. Remember when RVD respected nobody? I miss that RVD. Upcoming Events shown. I thought we were actually getting a 15 minute match. Doh! They had really long introductions too. I guess the effort is now going into Hardcore TV. Screw TNN!
Match #2: Rhino and Justin Credible vs. Rob Van Dam and Kid
Credible locks up with Kash. Reversals here, there, and everywhere to show that they can wrassle. Tilt-a-whirl headscissors by Kash, arm drag, dropkick. Credible pussies out, and tags Rhino. Rhino kicks him, but Kash chops back. Reversals, and Kash his a springboard Frankensteiner. Tags RVD, but Rhino attacks him before he gets in. Smart move for once. Jumping sidekick by RVD. Rhino gets up though, and he tries a powerbomb. Reversals again, and Rhino hits a nasty clothesline. Bodyslam attempted, but Kash kicks the leg, and RVD falls on Rhino. Frankensteiner by RVD on Rhino. Spinning heel kick by RVD. Credible tries to attack RVD, but Kash makes the save with a clothesline over the top. RVD does his flip over the top on the two idiots. Kash then planchas himself on everyone on the outside. Kash and Credible inthe ring. Chops by Kash. Elbow by Credible in the corner though, and a Superkick just like his Kliq buddy, HBK. Rhino gets in a cheapshot on Kash, and he stomps away. Pounds Kash in the corner, gets thrown to the other, and Rhino spears him in the corner. 2 count only. Credible tagged in, and he kicks Kash. Credible with a chair now, and he sets it up. Kash's face slammed into the chair, 2 count only. More sorry punching and chopping by Credible, until Kash comes back. Nice moonsault hit by Kash, although stupid Credible was in the wrong place. He's YOUR world champ ECW. RVD gets tagged, kicks everywhere! Snapmare on Credible. Both guys thrown into the corner, and a Manhattan Drop by RVD on Credible. Kicked chair to the face for Credible by RVD. Reversals with Rhino by RVD, and a cool pin by RVD with Kash's help. 2 Count only. Tough forearm by Rhino on Kash. Kash stuck on top. RVD hits Rhino, and they nail Rhino with a nice legdrop move. 1 count only, thanks to Credible. Trading punches by Credible and Kash. Credible sets up Kash on top. RVD hits Credible. Holy shit! Doomsday device badly fucked up with a Frankensteiner. Oh my God, get a doctor for Credible. Van Daminator for Rhino. 5 star Frog Splash on Rhino. Credible has a cane, hits RVD once, but missed the second time to get kicked twice. RVD on top again, but Credible knocks him off. Reversals here and there, including a "That's Incredible", and the Money Maker is hit! Kash can't make the pin because Rhino took out the ref. Rhino piledrives Kash though a table on the outside. Ouch! Enter Sandman hits, and the Sandman comes out. Cane for Rhino. Ouch!! Another! And Another! However, Credible hits Sandman with his own cane. Steve Corino is there, and he superkicks Rhino. RVD up top, and Fonzy sets up a chair in Rhino's face. VAN TERMINATOR! 1, 2, 3!!!! Time is 12 minutes and 57 seconds
Winners: Rob Van Dam and Kid Kash
ECWwrestling dot com promo. Good God, go to that site already. They show clips of Sandman caning Rhino, and that's it.
ECW is lucky that RVD and Kid Kash can perform, or that match would have sucked. Credible and Rhino need great wrestlers to make them look good. It's sad that both of those guys are the ECW champs. I'm very surprised that Credible didn't die in the main event though, because that botched Doomsday Frankensteiner landed him on his head! Those cane shots weren't exactly light by Sandman on Rhino either. The first shot instantly split that cane.
Well, this week, I'll give the show a
5. Steve Corino- He's old school. Need I say more. I'm hoping that ECW realizes how worthless Credible is as a champ and decides to go old school for the World Title. Maybe rekindle the feud with Jerry Lynn after he wins the World Title?
4. Jerry Lynn- Although he was in a sloppy match, just any kind of action from one of the most talented wrestlers in ECW gets him on this list. Lots of Cradle Piledrivers given!
3. Kid Kash- Damn this guy is talented! Each week, he gets better. Ever since he was given a chance to work with RVD, he's been able to finally show what he's got.
2. Tajiri- Never an uninteresting match with Tajiri. He took Psychosis to the limit, and Psychosis gave him all that he had as well. I'd LOVE to see Tajiri vs. RVD one day. Come on...give Tito a present ECW!
1. Rob Van Dam- This man has been really busting his ass lately, ever since Kid Kash lit a fire under him. Too bad he has such weak workers, like Credible and Rhino, to work with.
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@That's all for today. I'll be back tomorrow with my Summerslam Predictions, and of course, the Show of the Week for wrestling's week of television shows. As of right now, it's a tight race to decide.
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Take Care, and Thanks, as always, for Reading...even if you aren't an ECW fan.