Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the one and only Phat Daily Column. Sure, it's a tad late today, but when the opportunity arrives to sleep in, you take it! I've been running on 5 or less hours of sleep all week, so it's nice to sleep in to recharge the batteries. Hell, I feel like a million bucks right now!
I get asked this question all of the time: do you actually enjoy the WWF? Why yes I do. Many people just don't understand my use of sarcasm, which appears to make me look "negative". Also, on the interviews, I just clearly don't like seeing someone stand in the ring, talking, for 20 minutes. It bores me. I enjoy seeing action instead of just talk. Understand?
And as for the rest of the industry... many say I'm too evil on the backstage politics, etc. Now look, I only get on the extremely obvious cases. There are plenty of other stuff going on backstage that I don't even tough. The obvious cases are ones like Steve Austin, Triple H, and X-Pac always coming out of an angle, smelling like a rose, despite being a heel and they have been reported, many times, to have total control over what they do in the ring. Other stuff like giving undeserved people pushes, like the Big Show. Just because he's Shane McMahon's friend, he's allowed to be terribly overweight but still in the WWF. Do you see what I mean?
Then you have the Rock. Like I've said a million times before, I think he's a good entertainer when he's original and not just throwing righthands in the ring. When he throws the millions.... AND MILLIONS of righthands during a match, it exposes him as a wrestler. With that being said, tonight, Michael Cole said that the Rock brought back such prestige to the WCW belt like Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat once did. Wow, that's a bad statement, because Steamboat and Flair were incredible mat technicians, and the Rock is the master of the righthand. Rock would fit better with those two guys if he did more than just throw righthands, although that's stretching it.
Maybe take a close look at what I just said in my Smackdown review to really understand what I write everyday. On to the PDC.
Very HOT opener between Jeff Hardy and Rob Van Dam. It pumped up the crowd, too, and had an unbelieveable stunt by Jeff Hardy, when he came crashing down on the table. Hardy fell through that "solid oak table" like it was glass. (Note: the "solid oak table" comment is in dedication to the late Rick Rude) So Hardy was down and out, and Raven runs down for the 24/7 rule. The two would duke it out until high-pitched and big boobed Stephanie McMahon ran down. Then, Steve Austin would have to break up the feud.
Austin would do his firm leader act, making sure that RVD and Raven were "family". Later on in the show, a challenge was made for RVD by Raven for a fight on RAW is WAR. I have a feeling that the WWF is attemtping to bring out the Raven of 1996 by pitting him against Rob Van Dam. I'd like that. The funny thing about this segment was when RVD did his pointing, and the crowd chanted, and loudly, "R-V-D" as he did it to Austin. Quite amazing. Austin would then talk some trash, until Chris Jericho would come out and talk some smack, later setting up a match with Austin. I really wonder if Jericho is getting rewarded for working through his concussion? Austin said "non title" though, but later on in the show, William Regal would declare that the title would be put on the line. I think that declaration would have been much better for this segment instead, to you know, drive up the ratings.
Oh joy, the Big Gunns beat the Dudleys again. Nice of the WWF to continually push the Big Show, who is looking worse than ever. However, I don't blame the Dudley jobbing, because they haven't been really over as heels. Of course they aren't, because they aren't allowed to talk on the mic to generate heel heat. I really wonder how Mark Henry feels right now, since he's lost the required weight asked by the WWF, and then some, which seems nothing when you see a big sloth like the Big Show wrestling on WWF television. My general thinking is that the WWF will package Henry with D'Lo Brown, once he's ready to return as well. They weren't a bad tag team. Better than the Big Gunns.
3 consecutive weird segments occurred in a row. First, we had the Rock talking with the APA about their tag match. Rock must be electrifying at cards, because he beat the APA easily. Notice how the Rock was sort of uneasy when they handed him a beer. I don't think he's much of a drinker. Next, we had Edge/Christian talking, where Christian was denied, again, by his grandma, and then Christian announces that he got a tag title shot instead of having Edge defend his singles title. It was against Undertaker/Kane, as Edge somewhat panics. Yeah, I'd panic too when someone 40 year old dinosaur no sold every move I tried, too. Finally, we had Kanyon asking who was better than Kurt Angle, to which the WCW talent said "KANYON". I point this out because most of the WCW wrestlers, in that very segment, haven't been wrestling much lately.
Solid television match between Kurt Angle and Kanyon. Kanyon is proving to be well worth the WWF's money and effort, and Kurt Angle is simply the best damn performer in the WWF right now. Put that together, and you have a good match. Angle would win this one, since he's still getting pushed towards the WWF title, with the anklelock.
Next, we have a good 6 man between APA/Rock and Booker T/Rhyno/Test. When Test was taking the famous righthands by the Rock, it sort of looked as if Triple H was in there selling them, with the way Test's hair is. Anyway, Team Alliance would later win the match when Booker T nailed the former WCW World Champion and Nation of Domination leader, Faarooq, with a scissors kick, and the Bookerman would run out of the ring to piss off the Rock. Booker T would later do the Spinarooni on the ramp, to dog the Rock.
Could anybody actually comprehend what X-Pac was saying in WWF NY? Isn't it just funny that a face, Tajiri, wasn't able to exact revenge on a heel for being cheated out of a title? Oh wait, this is X-Pac we're talking about, who was telling everyone how great he truly was in WWF NY. No, he wasn't doing that to generate heat, he seriously means that about himself.
Speaking of Tajiri, the Japanese Buzzsaw and William Regal tried to pull a fast one on Perry Saturn about Moppy. I swear, this stuff is the best comedy that the WWF has. Regal presented Saturn with Moppy, but Saturn could quickly tell that it was a bad fake and started swinging it at Regal/Tajiri. Regal would then blame it on Tajiri. Funny stuff.
What is it with those cookies?
Description of Edge/Christian vs. Undertaker/Kane: Smaller guys selling every powermove done buy the larger guys, with Undertaker/Kane no selling every move in sight. Man, the Undertaker is so old looking.....
Next, it's Ivory vs. Lita. Not a bad women's match, but the fans aren't really concerned with Ivory right now. It's not like her heel turn was shocking or anything. The ladies would battle back and forth until Alliance member Hurricane Helms would run down and pull the ropes on Lita. He would throw Lita quickly into the ring, to which Ivory got the win on the match. Immediately thereafter, Matt Hardy would run down. Oh my. Helms vs. Hardy for the Euro title? I really hope that the writers establish Helms, first, with the WWF fans, because besides his Green Lantern stuff, the fans don't know what he can actually do in the ring. Hardy vs. Helms will be one hell of a match, when it happens.
Steve Austin vs. Chris Jericho was a pretty good television match, although Jericho's credibility to have a feeling that he'd might win that title was very shot from the recent midcarding he's done. Austin, however, would help Jericho regain some promise when the Rattlesnake was forced to cheat to win the match.
LAST WORD: Very good show by the WWF, and it was better than the last live Smackdown. The hot opener between RVD and Hardy really set the tone for the overall energy of the night, and the main event didn't disappoint. We'll go A- (A minus) for this show, as I'd go higher if there weren't a few flaws going on, like allowing a big sloth like the Big Show on Smackdown and having Undertaker/Kane no sell another match. Other than that, good show overall!
Leave it to Shane O Mack to be the man. Thanks to him, very much, for this very banner to do recaps of Tough Enough.
Very interesting start to this show. Vanilla Midget Chris was wrestling with Al Snow in the ring, when suddenly, he badly botched a move, and Al made him pay for it. If you didn't realize what a good leader Al Snow was for this show, then look again, because he slapped Chris into some weird stretching hold that I wouldn't wish on anybody. And wouldn't you know it, Chris would eventually quit the competition because he "lost his smile". More like he was going to get cut, so he quit to save the embarrassment.
Mick Foley was the special guest this week. Man, I'd take the bumps and bruises for the ability to meet Mick Foley, Kurt Angle, Triple H, Hardy Boyz, and Lita. Well, I'm kidding on taking the pain in the ring, but to meet all of those individuals would be great. Mick really didn't do much as a guest, other than putting the realization that the contestants were able to have 9 weeks as compared to 13 weeks, like Foley, to get into the WWF.
Lots of personal conflicts in this show... First, I do feel bad for Maven. It must be hard trying to follow a dream, while his mother is in bad shape. Nice of the Tough Enough crew to give Maven some time off to see her. The house remained quiet without Maven, because who are they going to talk to, Chris from Harvard??? That stiff? Then, poor little Josh wants to go home. I take it that his girlfriend has found a way to whip him when he's miles away. As Pac-Man would say on the Bloodhound Gang CD "Hooray for Boobies"..... PUSSY!! Josh should just tell her to know her role, and understand that Josh, for as little as he is, has a great shot because he's impressing the WWF talent directors.
LAST WORD: Nothing else special happened, I don't believe. Next week's show has some weird twists, though. I guess Taylor gets drunk off her ass and makes a fool out of herself one night. So what? That's one night. Just as long as she doesn't do it in the ring, or do it at WWF NY, like some little and blond WWF wrestlers. Ooops, am I talking about Crash Holly?
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@Well folks, that about does it for the FRIDAY edition of the Phat Daily Column. I'll hopefully be back, tomorrow, with a Week in Review column, if you can dig that. So until then, enjoy your Friday, cause I know I'll enjoy mine.
Phat Pharm: Lots of New Wrestling Columns coming soon!!!
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.