Welcome back to the ONE and ONLY Phat Daily Column. It's Saturday, and that means "ECW Day"!!! If you haven't checked out the Saturday column, well you will find FULL ECW on TNN results, ECW Fine Points about the current issues of ECW, and the wonderful Jackson 5 to enjoy. Now let's get extreme!
Not much else going on at ECW. So without any more delaying, onto the ECW on TNN results!
By the way, Tonya Harding is hosting "Bad Boys" week on TNN for this week. She introduced ECW. Wow, now that's the wrong kind of publicity you want there from TNN.
Hardcore TV highlights of CW Anderson/Swinger/Simon getting a win over Tommy Dreamer. Doring and Road Kill make the save. Wow, from main eventing to tagging with Road Kill and Doring! Poor Dreamer. Oh boy, they took out Jazz. Looks like Dreamer will be pissed at this lame duo.
Kid Kash vs. Justin Credible and Rhino vs. Rob Van Dam tonight! RVD is in the back talking. He talks about how Rhino hurt him. Rhino won't get to brag about whatever after tonight. ECW on TNN intro. Update the highlights please.
Lou E and Cyrus are in the ring, mics in hand. Oh my. Cyrus talks about Steve Corino, and how he was unhappy about the Tag Team pairing. It's a shame Corino is turning face. Lots of threats from Cyrus, and then Corino and Scotty Anton come down. I smell an Anton turn sometime soon! Cyrus asks who Corino was before Cyrus helped him? I agree there! Cyrus is cutting a good promo tonight, by the way. He rips on how he got over with the fans, and whatever else. Cyrus says he can't be a main eventer without the Network. Corino strikes back, calling Cyrus "Jerkal", and he says that nobody can stand Cyrus. Corino playing the crowd....he's a face! Corino wants some of Cyrus right now! Cyrus says he and Lou E. will take on Anton and Corino. Cyrus offers a free shot, and as Corino gets ready..... I CALLED IT!!! Scotty Anton turned on Corino!!!!
ECW Extreme Revolution video promo shown. Hotline- ECW results, Smackdown news, and 2 WCW wrestlers FIRED. 1-900-Run4ECW.
Commercial: No times, as it's not worth counting anymore.
Davescherer.com replay of what just happened. Upcoming events sponsored by Bobryder.com. Joy! Hype from upcoming ECW Arena show! Yeah baby! Still to come, a repeat horrible match between Kid Kash and Justin Credible. Also, RVD vs. Rhino.
The FBI comes out. Little Guido will fight Psychosis, Tajiri, and Mikey! Yeah baby! Tajiri fights Psychosis tomorrow night. Can Tajiri trust Psychosis tonight? Another swerve is predicted.
Match #1: Tajiri, Psychosis, Mikey Whipwreck vs. Guido, Big Sal, and Tony Mamaluke
Lock ups with Mamaluke and Mikey. Guido takes a cheap shot, and he then pounds Mikey. Reversals, because it's ECW! Tilt a whirl headscissors and a Frankensteiner by Mikey. Guido then pulls off his great spinning armbar from the top. Very nice. Too bad Guido isn't any bigger. Tony is in now, but he gets hiptossed after trying to attack the other wrestlers. Psychosis spinning kicksTony, chops him, and powerslams him. Guido comes to get some. He gets locked up with Psychosis, but Tajiri is there to kick Guido VERY HARD. Kicks for Big Sal too. Yikes! Those are so damn hard! Psychosis jumps over the top, and so does Mikey on the FBI. ECW, ECW, ECW! Tajiri and Mikey give Tony a double spinebuster and double ripbreaker. Tajiri kicks Tony hard! Ouch. Amazingly, 2 count only. Mamaluke hits a counter DDT, and he tags Guido in. Knee to the midsection by Tony, which allows Guido to get in a low dropkick. 2 Count only. Guido tags in Sal. Mikey set up in the corner. Big Sal misses the splash, but Sal follows up with an elbow. Armbar by Guido. Whippersnapper out of no where! Tajiri tagged in. He dropkicks Tony and Guido in the knees. Waistlocks and handspring elbows(first one missed, second one hit) later, and then a missle dropkick on Big Sal by Psychosis. Tajiri accidentally spits the Green myst on Psychosis. That was easy to predict. Tajiris attacking Guido, but Psychosis kicks Tajiri in the sack during a suplex. Guido hits the "Kiss of Death" for the 1, 2, 3, at 5 minutes and 56 seconds for a good match.
Winners: the Full Blooded Italians, clean win, via "Kiss of Death"
The Game.....I mean Justin Credible comes out with Stephanie....I mean Francine He's that DAMN good. Yeah right. Last week's match with Kid Kash SUCKED so bad.
Kid Rock Kid Kash comes out. That's gimmick infringement!
By the way, Joel Gertner has something to say: "it happens everytime without fail. Whenever I'm in Fort Lauderdale. I take Francine on a tour of the Sunshine State. And when she's done, she doesn't know whether to spit, smile, or masturbate". LOL!!!
Match #2: Kid Kash vs. Justin Credible- Part 2
Lock up, headlock by Kash. Reversals here and there, since it's ECW. Attempted pins as well. Fast action, but since Credible is the game, he's gotta take a break. Chair thrown in by Credible. Drop toe hold into the chair on Credible. 2 Count only. Reversals, knee by Kash, and a Frankensteiner. Again, since Credible can't carry a match for shit, he goes on the outside. What a weak champ. You guys say Booker T and the Rock are lameduck champs....well, look at this guy. Kash on the top, he nails Credible with a splash. Back in the ring. 2 Count only. Kicks by Kash, chops by Kash. More reversals, and Justin "the NEW Heartbreak Kid" Credible hits some Sweet Chin Music on Kash. He's just a sexy boy... Credible sets up the chair in the ring, and slams Kash on it. 2 Count only. JUSTAN ASSHOLE!! JUSTAN ASSHOLE!! Credible continues his slow pace, and tries to chop Kash in the corner. God, Credible is the WORST ECW champ ever! Snap mare and a headlock by Credible because he needs to bore us more! Kash escapes, sunset flip, 2 count only. Credible clotheslines Kash, and gets the chair from Francine. Kash then DDTs Credible on the chair. Credible kicks out! Reversals, moonsault by Kash, 2 count only. Spinning DDT on the chair by Kash, but the "spin" knocked the ref down. Rhino comes down and he attacks Kash. RVD makes the save! RVD hits a spinning heel kick and a flying splash. Kane to the head of Kash. 2 count only....barely! Kash gets out of the "That's incredible". Kash hits the money maker, but somehow the ref is out. Spear by Rhino on Kash, and RVD comes in and gives Rhino a flying kick. RVD puts Kash on Credible, and he jumps over the ropes on Rhino. 2 count only! Damn it! On the top, Kash is trying to destroy Credible. However, Francine and her two midgets hit Kash with a cane. That sets up a "That's Incredible" from the top rope, as it was a great finisher. 9 minutes and 28 seconds was the time, and Credible looked too invincible tonight, kicking out from EVERYTHING. Way better than last week's match.
Winner: Justin Credible, screwjob, via cane from Francine
Still to come...RVD vs. Rhino...as if we haven't seen it already! Extreme Revolution promo, again. Francine, with her two midgets, lifesize poster is shown. Note to self: Buy that for my brother, her biggest fan!
Rhino comes out, with a mean temper. Looks like a young Goldberg to me. Oops! *****EXCLUSIVE: HOT PICKS OF JASMINE!! GO TO ECW's WEBPAGE FOR SEXY PICKS****** Upcoming events thingy, sponsored by Bobryder.com. Why don't these guys come to the Ohio Valley? I guess we can satisfy all fans. RVD comes out. I miss the classic heel RVD of 1996. Oh, how that was just 4 years ago!
Match #3: Rhino vs. Rob Van Dam
Rhino attacks RVD while he attends to his fans outside. Wow, someone caught on...finally! RVD thrown into the guardrail. Yet another guardrail! RVD tossed into the crowd, with some fans getting an extra treat. Brawling in the crowd. ECW! ECW! ECW! Rhino is on the upperhand of the pounding, throwing RVD around. He's SOO evil. Luckily, he's young, and he can only get better. RVD takes on while sitting in a chair outside. Rhino is tearing him up. In the ring, as Rhino powerbombs RVD hard! Nice. RVD sells powerbombs like a champ! Make him a champ! Body Slam by Rhino. Reversals, and RVD hits a nice looking spinning kick counter. Kicks, punches, reversals. Manhattan drop by RVD, and he dropkicks a chair into a sitting Rhino. Tumbling splash by RVD, but he's playing the fans. Stupid! Reversal, the weird slam that Fit Finley used to hit was used by RVD, and then a moonsault. Van Daminator by RVD. Pin him!! 5 Star Frog Splash, but no pin again. Justin Credible comes down and hits RVD with a chair and then stomps RVD. Damn it! Time was 6 minutes and 47 seconds for those of you who wonder.
Winner: Rob Van Dam by DQ
Credible gets in some shots too, and then Kid Kash comes in to hype the Tag Match tomorrow night at the Arena. Kash's help isn't worht much, since he's in a neckbrace. Piledriver from Rhino on Kash, but good old Sandman comes out of no where and canes Rhino. I guess the Sandman doesn't forget an ass kicking, now does he? He gives Credible a Cane-Russian-Legsweep, and it's the end of show.
4. Little Guido- This little guy really busted his ass in the 6 man match. It's a damn shame this guy couldn't be a little taller and a little bigger on size. Guys like Guido are a great reason for a Lightweight ECW title.
3. Tajiri- Although he was on the receiving end of the loss tonight, Tajiri is wrestling great! Damn those kicks are sooo nasty, and the myst is being used great! Besides those stiff kicks, how can you complain about this guy?
2. Kid Kash- Holy cow, I thought this guy sucked when I first saw him. God damn, it feels sooo good to be proven wrong at times. It must be very hard for him to fight Credible for two weeks in a row, but his second match was a great improvement from the first! That earns him #2.
1. Rob Van Dam- Please, give this guy someone to work well with! Rhino is still too green to carry a match, and RVD depends on a decent opponent to look really good. I really wonder what holds RVD back from wrestling guys like Tajiri, Corino, Justin Credible, or others. It seems that RVD wrestles the same guys...over and over, besides Kid Kash.
@If you disagree with the opinions here, then It's Your Thing...do What You Want To Do. Argh, this Jackson 5 feature brings back memories of the great 70s. Oh, by the way, for those of you asking if I talk to my brother Michael....well, just put it this way, I don't talk to him, nor do I try to get near him because he's a dirty, dirty man. I'll be back tomorrow with the "Show of the Week"....gee, I wonder what show will get it, along with other goodies. Why not check out the Phat Pharm? There will be a NEW column everyday for you to read! Today, check out the latest Breakin' Necks and Cashing Checks!
Phat Pharm: NEW "Breakin' Necks and Cashing Checks" to Read! Click HERE TO READ IT, along with other GREAT COLUMNS!!!!!!
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.