By Mr. Tito
Welcome back to the one and only Phat Daily Column. Well, another Monday Night just went by, and of course I'm here to serve up the Monday Night Impressions complete with Phat Stats© and grades. Also, I'm happy now that the TAPED RAW is finally here, therefore, the drought of WWF news will end. Anyways, on to the PDC.

Monday Night Impressions

Monday Nitro

-Uh oh...Sid's going psycho..ruining the first two matches of the night. Must be getting a push..better be!

-The Cat should be a second or third hour wrestler. Period.

-Give Sid some medication..he's going crazy on the Luchadores in the back!

-Damn, I hate the team of Lodi and Lenny Lane. Good to see Sid crush everyone, including Rey Mysterio. It's funny how long Sid hesitated for Sting to run down, and for Hogan to hobble down. Boy is that knee wrapped.

-I was truly impressed with the ICP vs. Public Enemy. Everyone knows what a HUGE fan I am of ICP (sarcasm), but I was impressed with their wrestling skills and their ability to take bumps. Yes, I've been told by many lately about ICP's former wrestling career. Shows I really care enough about them to look up info on them. Anyways, the crowd was sure behind ICP, as they defeated the heatless Public Enemy with the help of Raven and Vampiro.

-The second the NWO black and white attacked Bryan Adams..I knew he was eventually becoming a part of KISS's wrestlers.

-What a pimp Kidman is, defeating DDP!! I loved it!! Good ol' Kimberly saved Kidman too...hmm..looks like Billy's future is getting on the Hooo train!

-Hey, Disco vs. Benoit for the US title!!! Whoa, that's US title material?

-Goldberg destroys the Texas Rednecks!! Of course, Goldylocks will probably grow a new undefeated streak, since Sid has his own.

-Oh wow, the ref turned blind when Bryan Adams came in and attacked everyone in the ring. Stupid, but Adams, for once in his life, looked good in the ring. He had energy for once! Wow!!! He jumped into the KISS limo too. Looks like he's becoming a demon!

-Rick Steiner vs. Brian Knobbs...that's a 3rd hour match? More like a WCW Saturday Night undercard match.

-Bam Bam vs. Saturn was ok, but it was great to see Saturn defeat Bam Bam..even though there was a little cheating. Oh well, it's good enough for me.

-Sid vs. Hogan..ah yes, another hyped up main event..and stemming from Road Wild, I was hoping for a clean win winner! But no...F'N SCOTT STEINER HAD TO JUMP IN AND RUIN THE MATCH. THAT'S COMPLETE CRAP IN MY BOOK. WCW CAN'T LIVE UP TO A HYPED MAIN EVENT!!!!! THAT MATCH DESERVED ALL THE GARBAGE THAT WAS THROWN IN, BECAUSE THEY DESERVED IT FOR THAT JOKE. Hehe, sorry for the caps.

Nitro Phat Stats

Matches: 12
Clean Wins: 6
Screwjobs: 2
Disqualifications: 0
No Contests: 4

=====$Well, the ending of Nitro was enough to flunk their candyasses! It is, I'm tired of this damn hype that is NEVER lived up. Everyone, I'm sure, hates seeing botched up main events like this which don't live up to the hype. Total garbage. The rest of the night was decent, but the 'No-Balls' ending makes me give a


for it's crappy ending. Yeah, teaching them a lesson. No, I'm not a WWF mark, I just hate stupid endings. Don't believe me that the ending was horrible, just count how many cups were thrown into the ring when Steiner interfered.


-Well, the show opens up with Triple H yelling at Chyna to give him her spot at Summerslam. Hey, is that anyway to treat someone you are rumored to be married to? Oops.

-Al Snow vs. Road Dogg was rather lame to me, with the stupid hardcore champion helping Road Dogg win. That's twice in a row that the Road Dogg/Bossman/Al Snow thing has bored me to death!

-Jericho made yet another good entrance this week, but last week's was better because he had the Rock tell him how it is.

-I'm surprised at Chyna. She can really fight and take bumps. If she ever went after Ivory, she'd kill her. Anyways, nice to see Mankind back, and helping Chyna. Also, it's good to see HBK two weeks in a row. Hopefully he stays around for a while.

-Boy did Shane and Blackman beat down Test and Shamrock. Too bad they are both going to probably lose at Summerslam.

-X-Pac and Kane vs. Acolytes. I've seen these teams go at it too many damn times!! I love both teams, but come on. Find some other opponents or tag teams for the love of God!

-Bob and Crash stupid.

-Alright, good old Mankind gets the #1 contender spot. I didn't think there were any ties left between Triple H and Shane.

-I thought the Rock-Mr. Ass segment was funny. I was on the floor after the Rock's pancake comment. It shows a disadvantage, however, of having taped shows the night after a live show. Rock's voice was fading.

-Oh my God!! We have a draw!! Mankind vs. Stone Cold vs. Triple H...and it took three matches tonight to decide that...

RAW Phat Stats

Matches: 6
Clean Wins: 2
Screwjobs: 2
Disqualifications: 1
No Contests: 0
Draws: 1

====$$Well, this edition was rather weak for me, as I kinda grew sick of seeing everyone fight over and over for that stupid #1 contender spot. A few repeating things, or maybe I'm just reliving reading the spoilers. Doh. That could be it. But anyways, I'll give this show a lovely


for this week's TAPED show. It would probably be a nicer grade if it weren't for the spoilers.

Wrestling Stuff

-According to the Ross report, the Blue Meanie has lost close to 50 pounds!! I was wondering why he looked in better shape on Heat this past Monday. Now if they could only get Viscera to lose weight. Not to be mean, but that man is so slow these days. Back in the day as Mable, he was think, but it was more muscular than just dead weight. Nowadays, he's enormous. If you are going to bitch at Meanie, Big Show, D-Lo, Henry, and even Mideon about losing weight, why not tell the most out of shape WWF wrestler the same.

-On August 27th, ECW will finally make it to television without being an infomercial!!! Yipee! I heard that the good TNN execs loved the show, which was taped recently. With ECW coming, what does that mean for Mr. Tito? Everyone has asked me, for about a year since I've been doing columns, why don't you do ECW news or views? The simple fact is that I don't get ECW anymore, as my WB channel which I relied on from Pittsburgh, screwed me by dumping the ECW television show. But oh well. That's changed now that ECW is on TNN now, and that means that Mr. Tito will now start having ECW sections in the PDC! That's right. I'm kinda rusty on keeping up with ECW, so I might be blowing smoke up your ass for a while(not like I do it anyways on the Big 2). The last I saw ECW, I do believe was right before the third Pay Per View. Ever since then, I've just heard news hear and there about them..and of course, all of the talent coming and going. I'll try my best on it, and hopefully I can become an ECW fan again.

@That's all for today! I'll be back tomorrow with Ratings! Joy! So until the next Phat Daily Column, why not chill...till the next episode. This is Mr. Tito, the man who hates main event no contests, signing off!

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