Welcome back to the one and only Phat Daily Column. Today, as tradition states, we must take a look at RAW is WAR by the WWF and give the usual grade, ect. I've only been doing this for over 2 years, so why change it? Of course, for the first 2 years, I had a WCW show to review, but now only one show remains.....
Nice of several music fans to get all over me about my "Bodies on the Floor" comments. You want to know why I find the sound annoying? Anything with just terrible screaming and someone saying "Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor" over and over again is NOT, and I repeat NOT good music. But with today's music, it takes very little to brainwash the general public and get a hit single. Hell, that's why crap like boybands or genetically altered females can sell millions of records.
And the WWF feeds off of anything popular. When Kid Rock was hot, the WWF made a deal with him to use "American Badass" for the Undertaker. Once that got old, the WWF switched to Limp Bizkit for the Undertaker. When "My Way or the Highway" was becoming hot, the WWF grabbed that up for the Wrestlemania theme. Now with Drowning Pool's "Bodies Hit the Floor", it will just be another example of the WWF using what's popular. Hell, with Drowning Pool, they'll be nothing but one hit wonders, and in a month's time, everyone will have moved to another band that's "cool" at the moment.
It's quite sad what the music industry has become. On to the PDC.
Opening segment.... ZZZZZZZZ, nothing like some old intimidation by Austin to start the show. Yeah, that's sarcasm. I take it that Steve Austin doesn't watch Heat much, or he'd notice that Mike Awesome gets his ass kicked there. But let's ignore that, along with all of the other holes in the WWF storylines. They did make some sense with the beating that Tazz received, because he was standing right there during Smackdown when Shane was Rock-bottomed. I suppose Tazz will rejoin the WWF so that he can just become a regular announcer, because he was struggling to put over the Alliance for 2 hours.
Oh wow, Albert put over Tajiri. I didn't quite expect that one, given Jim Ross's hard-on for Albert. Albert is the future of the WWF, ya know, according to Ross. Tajiri whipped out two colors of the mist tonight, making me mark out. I'm a big fan of the Great Muta, and back in 1989, Muta used to spray different colors too. Only with Muta, each color had different degrees of blinding someone. I'm still wondering, though, why the referees are allowing the mist in the matches. Shouldn't that be a DQ? I guess not in the WWF.
I have no clue what the Hugh Morrus attack on Kurt Angle was about.
Next match was Edge/Christian against Justin Credible/Lance Storm. I take that the WWF has been reading the ECW Mark-out boards lately, for they finally reunited the Impact Players for a tag match. Little did the WWF know that the Impact Players received the pop that they had because they had several pieces of ass surrounding the ring, like Dawn Marie or whoever else jumped on for the ride. A valet might help out Lance Storm's career right now. Anyway, Edge singlehandedly defeated the Impact Players, while Christian was selling a leg injury? Boy, I don't know what's up with this teasing of a break up, or if it makes any sense to break one of the best tag teams up, period. But hey, what's the incentive of being a tag team, these days, when the belts are being whored for another feud?
Weird backstage segments last night. First, what's with the Shawn Stasiak stuff? Oh by the way, it looks like he's been using some stuff lately. Veins don't pop out of your neck or shoulders like that on a regular basis. Stasiak badly missed when trying to attack Angle, and later on, Austin drilled him with a door. Then, everyone was making fun of Hurricane Helms's Green Lantern tattoo, and Helms was eventually destroyed by Angle.
Our next match was Palumbo/O'Haire vs. Kane/Undertaker in a cage match. What a waste of a match that was. If you're going to make it a cage match, at least make it an interesting match. Palumbo and O'Haire weren't even allowed to generate any offense against UnderFaker or Kane, especially the Undertaker, who no sold everything. If the Undertaker didn't have his long-standing loyalty to the WWF, he'd get so many complaints right now about being a poor worker or the fact that his very own wife can sell a move better than he can.
Next, we had a long-ass interview, but it was a good one. The Rock and Chris Jericho just let Rhyno, Stephanie, and Booker T have it last night. And finally, the Stephanie-breast implant theory was solved last night, as they actually used the fact as a comedy bit. Was Stephanie putting over her own chest? But anyway, this was a funny and entertaining segment, and it led to Rock/Jericho vs. Booker T/Rhyno for later. Anybody care to take bets on if the Booker T/Austin vs. Rock/Angle match will be booked for Smackdown?
Test vs. Spike Dudley was up next, which was mainly a squash. After the match, Test delivered a sick looking Powerbomb to Spike. Does Spike just know how to fold up like a chair when selling Powerbombs or what? This match was to put emphasis on the Spike/Acolytes vs. Test/Dudleys match, that I know everyone wants to see, right?
The next match of the night was Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam. What an impressive clashing of styles this one was, and just as the match was becoming incredibly good, many run-ins occurred. Damn it. ECW jobbers ran in and Angle took care of them. Then, Jeff Hardy, out of no where, comes in and pins Rob Van Dam via the 24-7 rule. Wow, that made no sense, even though they did fight at Invasion... however, that was weeks ago. I guess nobody ever wanted to challenge RVD on the 24-7 rule until now? If Jeff Hardy has the belt for Summerslam, does that mean he'll job 2 Pay Per Views in a row to Rob Van Dam?
For a second RAW in a row, there was no Austin or Angle interaction. The only thing close was having certain WCW wrestlers go after Angle, but that's it.
The main event, as announced from the long interview, was Rhyno/Booker T vs. Rock/Jericho. Not a bad match at all, but it would have been better of Booker T was more healthier. Rhyno got the pin on Jericho to hype that feud, to which Rhyno was later Rock-bottomed. That was unnecessary. You gotta hand to WCW referee Charles Robinson, for he sold the Rock Bottom like a champ! He's been the most fair WCW referee of them all, actually.
But then, the BOOKEND returned. Coolbeans and my hero, Booker T, not only hit one the Rock, but a second on a steel chair! Now that's a good instance on when to use the Bookend, and that's to taunt the Rock. Before, he used it as a finisher in an opposite federation, which made him look bad. Now, he's putting over a feud with the Rock, which makes it very good.
LAST WORD: Better RAW this week than last week, although a few flaws could have been avoided like actually hyping a few matches and the cage match should have been avoided. Plus, Angle and Austin should be hyping their feud better. I guess that RAW is the show they really hype Rock vs. Booker T, and Smackdown is the show they really hype Angle vs. Austin? Who knows, but what I do know is that this show gets a
B
for this week in my gradebook. Anybody up for more tag matches on Smackdown?
Summerslam?
Tonight, we had some matches booked for Summerslam, with the Hardcore Title match being set up and a 6 man match being thrown together. He's what the card currently looks like:
Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle
Booker T vs. Rock
Chris Jericho vs. Rhyno
Lance Storm vs. Edge
X-Pac vs. Tajiri
Dudleys/Test vs. Spike/Acolytes
Undertaker/Kane vs. Kanyon/Diamond Dallas Page
Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy
That's a big card right now, with 8 matches. Of course, we'll slap together 2 more matches so that matches such as Jeff Hardy vs. RVD won't look extra good. Oh well. Summerslam usually doesn't disappoint, and it should deliver, again, this year. I hope.
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