The good old weekend is finally here. However, once you get to be my age, you begin to ignore the 'fun' of weekends because it's the only time available to work. Anyway, happy ECW Day! Today, we will have BLOW by BLOW results of the only Cable ECW show, along with ECW's Fine Points, and who could forget the Jackson 5. Lots to cover, so on to the PDC.

Note: I'm very behind on e-mail since I was out of town all day yesterday.

ECW Day

Before we start, I'd like to thank many for their support for this ECW column. The hardcore ECW fans have been very cool about my ECW rants, and they've also helped me get a better understanding on a federation that I missed 2 years of. For those of you, however, who want WCW/WWF opinions on a Saturday, well, I'll apologize. Saturday is a dead day on news or happenings for each federation anyway, so please hang in there. Plus, I really wanted to do the ECW on TNN results when the job was available since it is, by far, the best show, in terms of fun, to recap.

Fine Points

  • ECW on TNN received a rating of 0.8 last week, their summer average. It's STILL the top rated TNN show, no matter how much crap TNN tries to throw at the wall for other television nights. To use a Boyd analogy: nothing is sticking to the wall for TNN's tries. Although TNN/Viacom does have a greater respect for the WWF than they do for ECW, the WWF has to wonder if times get rough for them, will they get dumped on their heads too?
  • Lots of rumors keep flying around about a deal between ECW and USA Networks. This damn appeal is really slowing the process down for ECW, and it's of great importance for me since I am the ECW television guy here. It's especially important with the Full Time college schedule coming up this fall so that I can have something planned to recap the show. I hope that ECW doesn't go on Saturday nights, as it would be as bad as Friday nights. Why not Tuesday nights? Is it that forbidden? They would rack up the ratings on Tuesday!!
  • I do want an explanation on how a guy, who is said to be the innovator of many spectacular moves, can be on the roster for over 4 years, and is NOT pushed. This man is Super Nova, who has been said to invent many moves like the Swanton bomb and the move currently used by Reno of WCW. If he's such an innovator, why isn't he one of the top guys now? Rather strage if you ask me.
  • That's all for the FINE POINTS, as no real headlines are out there for ECW to talk about. So let's get into some ECW on TNN results, eh?

    Lou E. Dangerously in the ring, and he's dogging the crowd. He whips out some WV jokes. The crowd throws shit at the ring!! I guess he's shooting like the guys in WCW now?

    Joey Styles and Joel Gertner in the back. Gertner talked to fast to transcribe this week, sorry. Lou E. shoots some more, and he brings out Steve Corino. Stupid Scotty Anton comes out with Corino. God, he's soooo lame! WCW isn't missing much here. Lou E. says he does this show better than Paul E. ever did. He said that Corino should be priviledged to be Lou's first guest. Discusses tag tourney coming up. Lou just got off the phone with Cyrus, but Corino doesn't care how he feels. Corino... a face? Face turn here? He's shooting about how Credible and Rhino should NOT represent the Network. The Game, Triple Justin Credible comes into the ring. Corino says Credible would be nothing without his help.

    Credible says that he doesn't care if he talks about Cyrus, Network, or Tag Team tournament...but when you bring up Credible's name, he gets sooo bad. Corino is turning face!!! Credible does his stupid catch phrase, and Corino dogs him for it! I LOVE IT!!! Credible, by the way, looks like he's out of shape a little bit. Rhino comes down and yells at Corino, and then attacks. Corino getting stomped, but he comes back to pound Rhino. Joey Styles: "We have just witnessed the break up of the network". I smell a swerve!

    ECW on TNN intro shown. Anton, Victory, and Corino are in the back, leaving. Lou E. tries to talk them out of leaving the arena and the Network. Styles and Gertner now...they rip on TNN hard here! Loving it! ECW video tape promo shown, which is Extreme Revolution, coming out August 28.

    ECW Hotline promo- 1-900-Run4ECW by the way...call them, they need to pay their wrestlers! New Jack condition, firings from WCW, Rock in political controversy, and Stone Cold's return to the ring.

    Commercial: forget the times anymore, it's pointless.

    Doring and Road Kill come down. They are fighting Bilvis Presley and Tom Marquez(?). In the back, Credible attacks Kid Kash. Someone's face is censored for this segment. Odd.

    Match #1: Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. Bilvis Presley and Tom Marquez
    Road Kill pounds Marquez with a slam, punches, shoulderblock. Vertical suplex by Road Kill, and Road Kill goes to the top. Nice elbow landed, and a hot tag to Doring. Nice doubleteam hold with a lariat. Slashes in the corner, and a Franchiser or bearback is hit. Bilvis gets beat on now, but Elektra is there to distract. Bilivis with a kick to Doring. 2 count only. Bilvis with a few moves here, and then a cool submission. Marquez in the ring, and a double shoulder block on Doring. God, these names are fucking annoying to type. Slam by Marquez, but he gets cocky. Doring chops him in the corner, but eases up, and a clothesline by Marquez. Bilvis is in, reversals, and Doring hits the Jarrett facebuster. Hot tag to Road Kill. He's cleaning house now. Sidewalk slam here, powerslam there. Double springboard clothesline by Road Kill. 2 count only. Double arm DDT by Doring on Bilvis. Doring to the top. With Road Kill, they hit the Buggy Bay? Whatever, 1, 2, 3 at 5 minutes and 16 seconds.
    Winners: Road Kill and Danny Doring

    Talk about a lame tag match. DaveScherer.com ECW replay now of the match. Coming soon....EZ Money vs. Tajiri, and Kid Kash vs. Justin Credible.

    Commercial

    Sinister Minister is in the back with Mikey and Tajiri. They are trying to teach Tajiri some stuff. They bring in a chick with two midgets. She kicks him for being so horny, so he spits the mist! TNN CENSORS THIS!! Sinister Minister: "I've heard of women getting sprayed in the face...but that's a horse of a different color"! LOL. They all laugh! So do I! Fucked up stuff here!

    Commercial

    Styles and Gertner again.... Gertner kills TNN sooo bad here! Swinger, Anderson, and Simon in the back. They discuss the Tag Tourney, and Anderson leads them to the right way of thinking. Whatever. They show highlights of Anderson attacking women, including Jazz and the Prodigette. Gee, this gimmick has NEVER been done before. Next Andy Kaufman here. Dreamer saved Jazz here by the way.

    Commercial

    Match #2: EZ Money vs. Tajiri
    Sorry if I get carried away here, since Tajiri is one of my favorites in all wrestling now. Dreamer vs. CW Anderson...next week on TNN! Anyway, lock up, reversals, technical wrasslin', and they stare each other down. Good stuff. They push each other, and then, KICK, by Tajiri. Tarantula attempted, but one of EZ's friends hit Tajiri. So instead, EZ does this awesome drop with Tajiri in the Tarantula position! WOW! 2 count only. EZ is taking too much time, he flips on Tajiri, 2 count only. Multiple kicks by Tajiri, and then a back flip splash. 2 Count only. Tajiri kicks, chops, reversals, and gets choked by the ropes. Losers on the outside cheat, and Tajiri is hit. 2 count only. Fantastico(?) and EZ pull an awesome spinning tag move on Tajiri. 2 count only. Very odd submission move by EZ. Impressive. Chair held up by Cameron(?), and he's hit by Tajiri. Handspring elbow by Tajiri. Blocked kick, and reversals, and then a Tornado DDT by Tajiri. Tajiri kick! 1, 2, 3 at 6 minutes and 7 seconds
    Winner: Tajiri

    Fantastico and Cameron attack Tajiri, as I wonder who the hell these guys really are. Tajiri is feuding with these pussies now? Must be for the Tag Tourney. Tajiri then comes back with mist, and destorys Cameron. FBI comes in and then pounds Tajiri. Mikey, with a HUGE torch, comes down and attacks Guido, while the others run. Holy shit! Right now at BobRyder.com, Elektra pics and exclusive soundwaves...I guess? Be sure to click the banners! ECW Upcoming Events promo now. More hype of this show! ECW Extreme Revolution video promo....again. Francine lifesize poster promo....damn, I gotta get that for my brother, the biggest Francine fan on earth!

    Kid Kash, acting like Kid Rock, comes out. Let's hope he doesn't suck like Kid Rock's second CD tonight. Ouch! Remember, he took RVD to the limit.... Credible comes out with Francine and her two midgets.

    Match #3: Justin Credible vs. Kid Kash
    Extreme Replay was shown how this match started up. Both play the crowd...since they both could use the heat. Wrasslin' holds here, as they both try to look like they used to be amateurs. Uh huh. Reversal here, arm bar here, off the ropes here, and Credible is eventually clotheslined over the top. Kash jumps out on Credible for a rather weak spot. Brawl on the outside, as it doesn't seem extreme to me. Now it is, as Kash hurdles the guardrail to nail Credible. In the ring, elbow and Superkick by Heartbreak Credible. Credible now has a chair, and slams Kash's face into it. Credible has a mic, and talks shit on Kash. Oh...how lame! It's funny how Kash looks great with RVD, but looks like shit against Credible. Hey, who is your world champ again? Missed baseball slide by Credible. Leg drop by Kash. 2 count only. Credible thrown into the corner. Kash dropkicks him. 2 count only. Francine interferes, and she gives Credible the cane. BAM, down goes Kash. 2 count only. Francine has an object, but accidentally hits Credible. 2 count only. Cash sets Credible up on the top. Frankensteiner! Francine attacks the ref to stop the count. Kash graps Francine, but Credible saves here. Kash chops Credible, and Rhino comes out of no where to spear Kash. Both attack Kash, and then RVD comes down for the save.
    NO CONTEST

    End of Show.

    ECW on TNN Phat Stats

    Matches: 3
    Clean Wins: 2
    Screwjobs: 0
    Disqualifications: 0
    No Contests: 0

    Last Word: Oh yuck, what a terrible show! I was slowly falling asleep while doing these results. By far, the WORST ECW on TNN show ever! It was all jobber matches folks, with guys with many years still to develop.

    Credible looked like shit against Kash, who incidentally, had a great match with RVD. Gee, and ECW 'claims' they have a great World Champ. Uh huh. Tajiri was really in a squash, and the opening tag match was OK at best. ECW is pushing to get this Tag Tourney going, and that saves this show from any ruin that it already is in. Funny backstage stuff, but the action sucked. I'm giving it a

    D

    for such a terrible show. I don't know who was booking here, but get him some help! I predict the rating to be the summer mean, 0.8.

    Terrible, terrible show!

    The Jackson 5

    5. Rhino- This slug gets the #5 spot just because he showed up twice, and was a force each time he came out.

    4. Kid Kash- He proved his talent by taking Rob Van Dam to the limit, and he helped to prove how BAD Justin Credible truly is. Hopefully, we see more good matches with Kash with some actual good wrestlers.

    3. Steve Corino- I don't know what a face turn will do, but I hope that ECW somewhat considers giving the World Title to Corino? Many say that Corino isn't ready for the World...but is Justin Credible ready for it either?

    2. Tajiri- Since he wrestled on this week's show, and since he tries in each match, Tajiri gets the #2 spot this week. EZ Money fought him to a decent match, but the restrictions on Tajiri are showing here. Looks like Paul E. had a little talk with the Japanese buzzsaw.

    1. Rob Van Dam- I've misjudged RVD lately, and just from tonight's match with Kid Kash and Justin Credible, it proved that RVD is still the top man at ECW. After taking RVD to a great match, Kash has to wrestled the dumbass Justin Credible. Gee, who has the better workrate? Looks like the Credible experiment is a total joke. He couldn't come out this week to do a 4:20 phrase, which is....oh wait, this Drug Reference and MORE will be discussed tomorrow, Sunday, in the latest Bad Tito on the Phat Pharm.

    @That's all for today. I'll be back tomorrow with the "Show of the Week", and other stuff like New Blood Rising Predictions. Be sure to be on the lookout for WrestlePalooza.com's latest Audio show, which will now be associated with Lordsofpain.net. They will have a New Blood Rising preview show for you to listen to!

    Phat Pharm: IT'S FANTASTIC!!!!!

    Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

    Mr. Tito 2000 Exclusive to Lordsofpain.net