No WCW stuff to discuss, so what on earth could I do today? Could I do ratings? Oh no, I do that Wednesday. Could I discuss WWF stuff? I usually reserve that for the Friday column. Hmmm......

Here are the possiblities I've thought of so far:

1) I could do a mail and feedback column. I have done this type column before, cheaply named "Feedback that Ass Up". However, it could strike comparisons to what other columnists would start, because I know my mailbox would get filled with questions about the past, where a wrestler is today, and so forth. There are several of those out there right now, and although it wouldn't be copying, I don't want to hear any claims. It's bad enough that people claim I stole "Shouts" from another loser columnist, when I actually got the idea from a Newspaper section called "The Yell".

2) I could reserve that day for another History day. Well, that's a good idea, and I know I'd enjoy it and all, but the History columns take a nice time to write. Some of my longest columns, on time, ever have been from doing the Histories. Especially the NWO column, which took me many hours to do one time. I normally spend about an hour doing the PDC now, late at night or early in the morning, and doing a history column for Thursday would kill me. School is now in session for me, and I don't have the time, during the school week, to write another one up.

3) I could write a "theme" column. Hmm, that's not a bad idea, but the big problem would be when I run out of themes to bullshit about. That's the big problem.

4) I could let the readers write the column. Yeah, I'd like to do that, very much, but the real problem is finding the time to sort and arrange parts of what the readers write. It's hard enough and time consuming to arrange the Shouts!, which is becoming successful by the way, and to then arrange long paragraphs of other writers for one column. If I had the time, I'd gladly do it.

5) I could review a video tape for each Thursday column. I'm sure that includes past events, too? No, I won't do that, because again, I could be compared to another writer as copying material. Sure, I like to review Multimedia, but I prefer to do that randomly, and not by force.

6) I could do a mid-week review of current Wrestling news. Yeah, that sounds like a great idea and all, but the "WWF Day" already covers a good bit of that material. Especially since the WWF is the only thing existing right now.

7) I could dedicate a column to XPW or any of the other independent circuits. That's a good suggestion, but I always REFUSE to cover a federation unless I can actually watch their shows. I did this for ECW, so I'll keep doing the same for XPW and others. Now if they expand their television to my area, I'll gladly cover them.

Hmmmm... I don't know. Some of you have suggested that I bring Bad Tito into this column for the Thursday slot. No way! Nobody would understand my rants about some idiotic reporters from lame as hell sites, so I'll just reserve it for Bad Tito on the revamped Phat Pharm. We'll see what we can muster up today.

How to Make Stone Cold Steve Austin a TRUE Heel

You know, I could explain how the storylines could work, blah blah blah blah! However, I believe that there's more to pushing your top face as the top heel than just what they are currently doing. Like....

CHANGE HIS MUSIC! Well, why not? Fans get off on the glass shattering. That's very true. Plus, what if a group of fans are Disturbed fans too? Why would they cheer against a guy who has their favorite band as his theme song? They wouldn't, duh. If you REALLY want to get him over as a heel, why not talk about some of the most HATED bands or groups by wrestling fans? I'm talking about doing themes by the Backstreet Boys, BBmak, N'Sync, or anything else like that. Fans would be sooo pissed off!

LET AUSTIN GROW HAIR! Yes, changing his look would definitely piss off fans. Especially with Austin, who could grow a very shitty head of hair. He was starting to bald during the WCW days, so you can imagine how hideous it would look now. Even better, he could avoid dying it to look really rough and rugid by not dying it blonde. He could grow a mullet with his balding hair, but that would look too much like Hulk Hogan. Just let it grow and buzz it... that would work!

CHANGE FACIAL HAIR! I say let him grow a full beard. Don't dye it partially, though, or he'll look like Perry Saturn or Hollywood Hogan. You do NOT want that. He could shave it, too, but damn that would look strange.

CHANGE THE TIGHTS! Well, why not? New tights could alter a fan's perception of their former hero, Stone Cold. Maybe if he got tights that would cover up those knee braces, then maybe he'd look more vicious as a heel. Just an idea.

CHANGE THE NICKNAME! People love Stone Cold enough that they don't even refer to him as his real name, Steve Austin. The WWF could reach into the WCW archives they just bought and give Austin the "Stunning" nickname back. OR, better yet, they could give him a new nickname. Preferably one given to him by Debra, who isn't very bright at all. Maybe they could call him "Mongo" Steve Austin?

MAKE AUSTIN GROW CHESTHAIR! Back in the day, you knew when Sid was going to eventually turn heel because he'd let the chesthair grow. Various heels have gone that route, because it gives them sort of an "ugly" look to them. Anything to make you look more evil is always nice.

Now for the storyline aspects of that.... well, that's another column. Right now, I really just want to see how the WWF plays this heel turn out.

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@That's all for today kiddies. I'll be back with WWF Day, which will discuss current headlines and give a wonderful Smackdown review. Now can you dig that?

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Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

Mr. Tito 1998 - 2001 Exclusive to LordsofPain.net


The New York Daily News claimed that NBC will be dropping the XFL after this season, thanks in part to embarrassing ratings. Click Here to read this article.

Click Here for the XFL Player Ratings by fanball.com.

Click Here to read the latest XFL Newsletter for a good preview of this week's games.

The XFL has come up with a name for their Championship game. They will call it the Million Dollar Game in reference to the amount of money split up between players of the winning team. Can we say ratings ploy?

The XFL also announced some rather ridiculous rules changes. They have a new Extra Point system, which goes as follows:

1 yard line: one point
5 yard line: two points
10 yard line: three points

[ Credit: Yahoo! and 1wrestling.com ]