Welcome to the Monday edition of the Phat Daily Column. Well, we have yet another Monday Night War on hand, and it looks like we are back in November once again, and that means a WWF stepping it up, and a WCW scrambling to find new ways get attract attention....only you know the outcome of the last Russo run. But hey, things can change, right? On to the Phat Daily Column.


-Tonight on Nitro, we get to find out what side Bret Hart is on! Oh my gosh, I can just feel the ratings coming in! Please. If you didn't know this from last week, Bret Hart hit Hogan, and embraced Vince Russo...a man who he bashed for the storylines in WCW, but IT'S SUDDENLY OK AT WCW. It seems to still be that way with many of the WCW "boys", who still embrace Russo for his crash TV style writing. Yeah, and looking back a year ago, Russo was bashed constantly by them. But now he's a God. Go figure!

-Uh oh, Billy Kidman has something to say....and he means business. Kidman is supposed to talk about the Hummer into the Trash incident, and what he'll do about it or something. Whatever works, cause I sort of like this feud...except when a Hummer gets involved and when Hogan is in the back swearing and throwing around stuff.

-Uh oh, Kimberly has a major announcement to make to her husband, the man DDP, tonight on Nitro. Now if the angle goes down where she's pregnant with Bischoff's love child, things won't get pretty in the gradebook. Just look at the past pregnancy angles in wrestling, and look how big of a failure they were. You had Terri getting knocked up by Meat, which failed miserably to even get attention to Meat, and then you had the wretched Mae Young pregnancy which everyone was annoyed by. Come on Russo, don't go this route.

-Hey more matches are supposed to be announced for Slamboree!! Is that a good thing or a bad thing, since some of those matches will be like 1 minute each with Russo. But hey, we are treated to the Triple Cage match between DDP and Jarrett, and that alone SHOULD be worth it.

-Oh baby, here are some matches: Terry Funk vs. Bam Bam Bigelow for the covetted Hardcore Title. I guess Bam Bam is part of the New Blood too, especially since I remember him wrestling in the 80s. Also, we are treated to a mixed tag match between Sunny Tammy Wammy Tammy Lynn Sytch and Skip No Gimmicks Needed Chris Candido vs. Paisley and the Artist Formerly Known As Another Sucky Wrestler. In the words of Joel Gertner from ECW on TNN....CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT! Candido, by the way, is about to sign a WCW contract. WCW should pay him extra, especially recently, since he didn't jump to another federation and trash the Cruiserweight title.


-Tonight on RAW, we should get the same spiked first hour, with a watered down second hour. I'm sure we'll get some kind of interview in this one, which will result in the "special announcement being revealed. Hey, let me transcribe the interview that will happen!!!

*Triple H and the McMahons all come down to the ring, and Triple H gets on the mic first*
Triple H: You know Rock, you can't beat me. I am the best damn wrestler in the WWF...I am the game. 8 Minutes Later ....I jobbed to the Ultimate Warrior one time. I am just that damn good Rock. Come Backlash, I'm going to kick your ass!
Vince: You know there would be nothing better than to see you kick the Rock's ass. God, this crowd sucks. Let me tell you about them. 9 minutes later ...and Viagra has restarted my life. Let me tell you what I'm going to do to the Rock at Backlash..... *Linda's RAW music plays*
Linda in a low voice: You know Vincent, I have something to say to you. 5 minutes of nonsense ..And in bed, you couldn't keep it up. The surprise for Backlash will be.....

And that's where I'll leave it up to them to deliver. Oh yeah, add 10 minutes to that interview from the panic which comes out of it.

-You know, sometimes Flash sites look good, but in the end, they take forever to load up and slow down computers...like mine right now since I'm on the Backlash site. Thanks WWF!

Here is the CURRENT Backlash card with ONLY 1 week away!!!!!

The Big Show vs. Kurt Angle
Dudley Boyz vs. T&A
Triple H vs. the Rock

Ok, either the site isn't updated, or we'll hear about it tonight. I can remember a Road Dogg/X-Pac vs. Edge/Christian match, and YET ANOTHER match between Scotty Too Hotty and Dean Malenko. Oh yeah, 3 way dance between Tazz, Saturn, and Crash again. Still, like last month with Wrestlemania, the WWF isn't taking a wise route to their hype. It could eventually hurt them in the long run if they keep this up.

@That's all for today. I'll be back tomorrow with those dreaded Monday Night Impressions, so just chill till the next episode. Oh yeah, be sure to check out the Backyard BBQ because I have a new column debuting called "the Backyard Lowdown" which is an excellent read for anybody. Click Here to enter!

Phat Farm: NEW "G-Factor" to Read!!! Click Here!!!!!!!!

Take Care, and Thanks for Reading Everyday.

Mr. Tito 2000 Exclusive to LordsofPain.net