Welcome to the REVIEW LOADED edition of the Phat Daily Column. Last night, I caught Smackdown and Tough Enough, and earlier this afternoon, I caught the Rock's Scorpion King. I got the Scorpion King Soundtrack (which I'll one day briefly review) as a great birthday present (my 22nd birthday is this Sunday), and whenever you buy that CD, you get a $5 coupon to go towards a movie ticket. Watching movies in the afternoon is cheaper than at night, so a free movie for me! Yes!

I'm also pleased to announce that reviews for WWF Before they Were Stars and Most Funniest Moments (or whatever they are titled) will be sometime next week, probably Wednesday and Thursday consecutively. It comes at a good time, as the latest material on the wrestling world has been a bit down.

Instead of a Weekend column this weekend, I may do Daily columns for both Saturday and Sunday. If I have time on Saturday, I'll pump out a special column, while on Sunday, I'll do my Backlash predictions. If there is time. I do guarantee my Backlash predictions column.

Did I not call it?!? The Osbournes are now the highest rated show on Cable television, just barely edging out RAW. Now folks, that's not from a decline in the WWF's ratings. The Osbournes have been increasing by great numbers by the week, and will probably continue to do so. I read in Entertainment Weekly that Ozzy and his family are demanding Millions for a 2nd season. I bet that Ozzy would have never imagined that one of the biggest cash cows of his career would be a real life television show about his own personal family. Congrats to them all!

Before we get to the column, I do want to express some sympathy for Wahoo McDaniel, who passed away last night. I've seen a decent amount of Wahoo's work when I was younger, and I'm saddened to see another legend of our industry passing on.

Lots of stuff to do today, so on to the PDC!

The Scorpion King

What makes common sense and what I've studied in Economics, the less you pay for something the more enjoyable it can be. I saw the Scorpion King for FREE, so who knows what I'd think if I actually paid to see the movie. Overall, I'd say that the movie was good, but not great or innovative in any matter.

The Rock did a good job acting. I've read some reviews of where he over-reacted in some parts, but I didn't see it. His character was represented as a strong person, and he actually didn't say too much in some scenes, although he had a lot of fights throughout the movie. Plenty of solid fighting scenes in this movie.

I liked the casting done for this movie. Kelly Hu was just scorching throughout the movie, and good in her role as the sorcerer. Ralph Moeller was a nasty bad guy. Michael Clarke Duncan was good as usual, as he's been on a role ever since the Green Mile.

The plot isn't too bad, but relatively basic and somewhat predictable. But I thought the story of the movie was well played out, and it wasn't too confusing, especially coming from me, as I didn't see the "Mummy Returns" at all.

The special effects? Not as much special effects used, such as in the 1st Mummy, which I actually did see. But they were there in some good scenes. The Ants will make you quiver.

LAST WORD: As far as a movie being innovative on a storyline, special effects, or action movie, this movie is not. HOWEVER, it's still enjoyable, I thought and it's pleasant to see the Rock doing a good job acting in his first starring role. I'll give the movie a

B

as I do see some potential for the Rock to do well in Hollywood. It all hinges on how people respond to some early negative reviews or how well they'd think the Rock would be as an actor. We'll see in a few weeks... The Scorpion King better rake in all of the dollars now, especially when Star Wars: Episode 2 comes out and steals everything from the box office in a few weeks.

SMACKDOWN IS TITO

OPENING SHOTS

-Wow, how right was Billy Kidman that nobody knew who he was? That's a big contradiction to how pathetic the current WWF writing staff is on building stars.

-How can you lose to a dropkick? Especially after taking many of WCW's bests finishing moves from 1997-1999.

-If I was betting on Mark Henry, I'd put money on how long it will take for the WWF writers to give up on the "World Strongest Man" to start getting sucked off by transvestites and screwing old women.

REVIEW....

Smackdown started off with a 6 man match. Albert, Chuck, Billy versus Rikishi, Maven, Al Snow was supposed to get the crowd all fired up throughout the show, being the hot opener. Hey, hey, hey, it's FAT Albert. Not a bad six man, and it was good to hype Al Snow/Maven vs. Chuck & Suck, although the Maven pinning Chuck tells us what lameduck contenders Al Snow and Maven are. I don't see Rikishi vs. FAT Albert on the Backlash card. Thank God! Sure, put them on Mtv Heat before Backlash, for I don't watch that show anyway.

Funny cheap pop stuff with the Hurricane and Billy Kidman.

Man, Stacy looked fabulous tonight! Ahem. Lots of Stacy taking wrestlers, such as Hulk Hogan and Triple H to Vince McMahon's office for one big orgy. Well, not really that, as the Hogan and Triple H scenes hinted that Hogan will be crowned champion this Sunday. Austin is very likely to win the #1 contender bout, so will we see another hot feud between Triple H and Austin, or will it be Austin vs. Hogan. Given the face push of Triple H, I doubt it will be Austin vs. Triple H. Looks like Hogan will be winning the World Title after all? Who knows? Vince did threaten Triple H that he'd be property of Smackdown, if he lost.

Next, we had a Cruiserweight Tag Team match between Billy Kidman/Hurricane vs. Tajiri/Chavo Guerrero. Solid tag team bout, but let me stress that Kidman has no build up behind him as champion, Hurricane and Tajiri have been jobbed out to their deaths in the WWF, and Chavo hasn't been on WWF television, aside from Tough Enough, in a while. Chavo isn't really a big name on Tough Enough. If the WWF is going to make this Cruiserweight division successful, they MUST build up the wrestlers with good storylines and let the wrestlers double the success with great matches.

*YAWWWWN* at the Mark Henry segment. It was sooooo out of the late 1980's and early 1990's.

Hulk Hogan would come out, and BS about his match with Triple H at Backlash. Then, Chris Jericho would come out and cut a promo on Hogan. Too bad nobody is scripted to rip on Hogan's baldness, because from Russo's "shoot" at Bash at the Beach 2000, his bashing of Hogan's baldness was received with great reaction. Hey, every other wrestler rips on Jericho's height, so why not rip on Hogan's hair? Hogan challenged Jericho to come to the ring, he did, they fought, Angle came in to help Jericho, and then, Edge ran down to clear the ring. Edge would then get lectured by Vince McMahon, which was odd, and was told to leave the building. Uh huh, easy to predict what would happen later. Looks like Hogan needed a tag team partner for later...

Testicles took on Faarooq, which was a match set up because of a faulty bet made by Test earlier, regarding the Mark Henry lift. Sort of back and forth with senseless or repetitive offense, with a bizarre ending of Faarooq using his feet on the ropes. He's winning like Crash Holly, now, at his old age. Oh man, I'm sooooo pumped for the rematch!

The guys over on the LoP Message Boards predicted that I'd get mad for this next match. Diamond Dallas Page took on Hardcore Holly, and lost via a dropkick. A FUCKING DROPKICK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Sure, Bob Holly has the BEST dropkick in the business, and sure, Holly getting a push on WWF television would be a good thing, but at the expense of DDP, again? What's the use anymore with DDP? He's a former big star from WCW, who could have been utilized via namepower in the WWF ever since he debuted, but yet because of the Undertaker's hatred for DDP and the refusal to accept anything in WCW as a success, he's losing to a guy who used to call himself Sparky Plug. Whatever. It's ignorance like this that keeps the WWF from being more successful than they are today.

TESTIFY! D'Von came down to preach to everyone about his new visions, whatever they may be. Uh oh. The idiots over at the PTC (Parents Television Council, the same group who heavily criticizes the WWF and harasses their sponsors) claim to be very religious in their own views. Having D'Von act like a holy man, under Vince McMahon's wing, will get them fired up. Religious stuff in the WWF has been somewhat taboo, although you sometimes see it, such as the Undertaker's old gimmick and the Booker T/Steve Austin chase in the church one time. Not that it bothers me, but it could be trouble for the WWF with other people. Oh well. At least it's a role that D'Von is into, and I wish him all of the best with a singles career. Kind of a dry segment to have this late in the show, though.

The main event was next, as it was Triple H/Hollywood Hulk Hogan versus Kurt Angle/Chris Jericho. To take Mick's HHH gimmick even further from his Smackdown report, as Hollywood Hulk Hogan has the initials HHH, we'll say that the team of Triple H and Hollywood Hulk Hogan is called Triple H squared. To take it even further, Triple H's old t-shirts used to read HHH cubed. Ok, so doing the math, are we HHH to the sixth power or what? Decent main event, which did a good job hyping the Pay Per View, I thought. Angle and Jericho were clearly superior on speed, as compared to an old Hogan and a bulked up Triple H. Triple H would get revenge on Hogan for an earlier chairshot, and Edge would come back to Smackdown and go after Angle.

LAST WORD: Good Pay Per View hype heading into Backlash. Some issues as far as the midcard goes, but at least it's better than RAW's midcard. And which show is stacked and which isn't? I'm still disappointed by DDP's loss to Holly, but at least it was to Hardcore and NOT Crash Holly. I'd probably have a heart attack if that were to happen. Decent show overall, and like the Scorpion King, we'll go

B

for this show. Smackdown hasn't had a blow-away show ever since the split, meaning that I'll keep my A-grades ready for whenever they finally get it right.

Tough Enough 2

Too much typing... must get finished...

This week's show pushed the main issue of Jackie and Pete's little fling for each other. While Pete falls head over heals in love with Jackie, Jackie found herself apologizing to her now ex-boyfriend for a little kiss to Pete and to her mother, who is clearly angry over Jackie's decision to even be on Tough Enough. Little kiss my ass! As Linda said, she basically had sex with Pete with her bathing suit on.

Both Pete and Jackie did horrible in the ring because of the emotional stuff. Pete comes off to me as an asshole, while Jackie seems to think that a simple "I'm sorry" will cover up mistakes. Hell, she lied to her boyfriend about a little kiss. Whatever!

It looks like Tough Enough is beginning to hype some problems with Jake. He has the ability, just not the mental toughness. I see him overcoming it, and winning at least one of the spots. His so-called bad attitude hasn't really shown itself much on the show, either.

I thought it was a nice touch to have figures made of everyone at Jakks Pacific. Edge wasn't really much of a positive guest, as he just sat down for a brief meal for everyone.

LAST WORD: Next week looks interesting, as Al Snow seems pissed on how the contestants are developing and so forth. I dislike the Real World-like relationship between Jackie and Pete, but at least it's nice to see that some sparks can fly when you put a bunch of females and males in one house. That's only logical to happen.

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@See you sometime this weekend! Just chill till the next episode!

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