Welcome to another edition of the Phat Daily Column. Today, we'll do the usual Monday ranting, with the latest in pro wrestling and some RAW hype. Such an easy system to follow, mmmk?

LOTS of feedback regarding the Rock on Saturday Night Live weekend column. Many hardcore SNL fans went after me for calling the skits bad, especially for me blaming SNL, not the Rock, for a more lame show than the 1st Rock appearance. Then I had plenty of Andrew WK fans let me have it, especially the "someone should get the lead singer some dance lessons" comment, which was total sarcasm.

Besides the Chris Matthews Hardball skit which the Rock wasn't even in, I didn't laugh hard at any of the skits. Some, I laughed a little, but on the first Rock appearance, I was laughing a many of the skits. The Superman one put me in tears! SNL was just coming off the hot Clinton-Lewinsky shows that helped make the show for 2 years running, and SNL was great with the Rock during 2000. SNL, lately, has been unwatchable in recent times, ever since the 2000 Presidential Election ended. The stuff just isn't funny, to me at least.

Oh well. On to the PDC.


I was proud of myself for one of the "Daily Apples" sections in one of the PDC's last week. When I made the comment about if you held your tongue and said "Daily Apples", it would come out as "Daily Assholes", I apparently made a lot of people laugh. I remember when I was a little kid, my cousins thought it was funny that when you held your tongue and said "apple", it would come out "asshole". Given that the "Apples" mainly deal with certain wrestlers who are "assholes" in the business, I thought it was kind of neat-o to bring up last week.

-Looking through the Cable rankings, you'll note that WWF RAW may be usurped as the top show on Cable. The Osbournes are just inches away from taking the top spot from WWF. I'd like to send out a congrats to Ozzy and his family. I try to watch the show, given that I'm a longtime Ozzy fan (I remember I was amazed at the Crazy Train video when I was very young), I really like it. Ozzy is funny at his old age, and he pretty much let's his kids be out of control. The show is likely to take RAW in the ratings very soon, because word of mouth is going around about the Osbournes, which is something that any WWF shows lack right now. That's the truth.

I mean seriously, when was the last time a friend told you to check out wrestling? When it's hot, everyone is talking about how great the NWO are, how fun it is to see Steve Austin fight Vince McMahon, etc, etc. Wrestling is watched by its remaining fans that it has right now, and if they witness anything watered-down, such as the RAW roster, then they could be out the door too. The WWF must do some cutting edge angle to get wrestling fans talking again.

But what angle? ECW FANatic of the LoP Message Boards started up a good topic on what shocking storyline would draw ratings. It pretty much stumped me. I thought the WCW Invasion would have been that next angle to carry the WWF to stronger business after the horrid summer of 2001 hurt them badly, but thanks to pathetic writing and Vince's inability to accept WCW wrestlers as somewhat equals to his own, it was flushed down the toilet. As I said in the post, the "shocking storyline" must come as unexpected or surprising.

Take the original NWO storyline. Suddenly, Scott Hall and Kevin Nash began showing up on WCW Nitro of all places, attacking WCW wrestlers, and then announcing a 3rd member, only for it to become Hulk Hogan (nobody expected). Good lord, that was good wrestling television. Then, we have the Austin vs. Vince McMahon wars. Nobody, in their right mind, would have ever expected Vince McMahon to play such a strong heel against Austin. Nobody!

For the angle to happen, I thought that splitting up the rosters was a good idea. Why? Well, the split could be considered a major storyline, but look what happened with the addition of Smackdown. The WWF exhausted nearly all of the possible matches from 2-2 hour shows a week. By splitting up the roster, matches won't be as exhausted much.

In my opinion, the way for the WWF to remain strong or to get tougher is to just simply create and push newer stars. Brock Lesnar must be big. Rob Van Dam must be pushed. Any living creature from the Ohio Valley Wrestling WWF developmental territory should be used, since some of them are easily more talented than many on the current WWF roster. Get Rey Misterio, and let the newer 1998 WWF fans see his magic as the Cruiserweight's best wrestler. Just take a look at how some of the older guys are anymore... Kevin Nash is out with an injury. Hogan is wrestling on a bum knee and bad ribs. Undertaker always wrestles hurt. Austin still has to somewhat wrestle carefully after his neck injuries.

The WWF just needs to do something to get the fans talking, thereby spreading interest via word of mouth to disgruntled fans or to find new fans for the product.

-On the Billboard top 200 albums chart, WWF Forceable Entry went from #3 to #11 this week. Ouch. Of course, from a personal standpoint, I don't see why, given the fact that Now 9 sucks and that the top 10 features a bunch of crappy R&B artists. What hurts Forceable Entry, probably, is that there are no tracks on the CD doing well on the charts. Breaking Point's "One of a Kind" tried to play the game of making the charts and getting radio airtime, but that consequently failed.

And speaking of music. I'm convinced. The Motorhead Triple H theme is the best wrestling theme, ever. Just hearing it over the past few weeks, I've decided that there are no themes that intense, that perfect for the wrestler at hand.

-WWF Smackdown took a ratings hit. Their final rating came in at 3.5, which is significantly down from the 4.1 from last week. Ewwww... What to blame, what to blame? Well, Smackdown did have its share of extra "sports entertainment" this week. Maybe no Rock on the show? Maybe nobody cares to see Triple H and Hulk Hogan feuding? Maybe everyone is mad at how Mark Henry will receive a push, and guys like DDP, Christian, or Lance Storm won't? Maybe fans saw how Albert and Rikishi will be feuding, and then turned it off in disgust?

And on the subject of Smackdown, I pretty much agree with the notion that Vince stacked his Smackdown show just to get a new deal with Viacom/UPN. Smackdown's deal apparently ends sometime in 2003 (fall of 2003?), and since TNN would be very screwed if they gave up the WWF, given that their deal goes until 2005, it's very apparent what Vince has done. Vince better not hope to lose millions, though, on a RAW with a very poor roster right now.

RAW HYPE: WWF.com is lazy on their preview this week, so it's hard to say what the WWF could do tonight. Probably some stuff regarding Austin and the Undertaker, especially since their Pay Per View match is just 6 days away with one show to really hype it. I doubt that Triple H will be on the show, and if he is, what could he do? Brock Lesnar needs to wrestle somebody... Will he be wrestling a handicap match at Backlash against the Hardys? We'll probably see more in regards to Rob Van Dam vs. Eddy Guerrero. I really hope that their match at Backlash blows peoples' minds. We'll probably see the unfortunate feud between Kane/Bradshaw vs. Hall/X-Pac. Bradshaw, in my eyes, hasn't really established himself as a singles threat. Kane has been really good as of late, but Bradshaw just seems like his usual self when he was a tag wrestler.

AOL Instant Messenger: BookerTito - It's recommended that you send your questions or feedback as your first message so that it could be answered, instead of saying "hi", "hey", "what's up" or whatever else. Just get to the point, please, to make it easier since I get drilled with messages.

WRESTLEPALOOZA.com - Audio Show, Columns, News, and more!

KOLTERSHOCK!!! - A site that you shouldn't view with small children present!

X-Entertainment.com - One of the most entertaining pages on the net!

@That's all folks! Tomorrow, I will review RAW. So why not chill?

Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

Mr. Tito 1998 - 2002 Exclusive to LordsofPain.net/WrestlingHeadlines.com