Ain't nothing like Wednesday baby... Well, I made a boo-boo in yesterday's column. Besides the content errors, since I was tired as hell when I wrote it, I forgot to ask for Shouts! Shame on me. I apologize for the mistake, and I promise to ask for them next week, for those of you who like to contribute.

Finger of Shame to me. That really sucks, because I was relying on that for material. My gosh, it's like a great depression in wrestling, right now, in terms of news and stuff to write about. The sad thing is that it's coming at a time when I'm reopening the Phat Pharm.

Speaking of that... Please check out the newly revamped Phat Pharm to see how YOU could possibly join and write there... if you want to. It has a new design, with an incredible top banner by Al Birdy. So Click Here to enter the Pharm for information.

Back to the material.... to keep this column "daily", I've decided to provide a recap of all of the current headlines in wrestling, along with my show reviews or predictions. That way, I can keep this ship running, and possibly provide a one stop for those who want a mouthful of news. Of course, the news will be loaded with your truly's opinions. But this isn't all new... my original columns basically just made fun of the news, with an occasional show review. So we'll see how this latest PDC addition goes...

Daily Apples

For those of you who don't know why I use the term "apples", just watch the South Park when the Terrance and Philip movie, "Not Without My Anus", was on, OR just watch the great flick "Good Will Hunting". In either movie or show, they say the phrase "how about them apples". In the Terrance and Philip show/movie, they asked someone if they liked apples, and the guy said yes, and one of them proceeded to fart on the guy's head. Either Terrance or Philip said "how about them apples". In Good Will Hunting, Matt Damon was in a bar, where this guy was trying to impress this girl with his brains. Well, Damon outsmarted the guy with better knowledge, and he got the woman's phone number. After Damon left the bar with the lady, he put the phone number in the window and said "you see this? How about them apples". Both are truly classic moments, if I'm remembering them correctly.

In appreciation of both, I used to say "how about them apples" whenever I proved myself right or whenever I was being an ass, by stating an outrageous opinion. Actually, the apples theme really pissed off a lot of readers who didn't like me to the point where they'd threaten bad things if I were to ever use the Apples again. Well, how about these apples?

-Several reports stated that TSN, or what Canada views RAW is WAR on, censored the Lita beat down. Right on to them for that. I mean, it's not exactly good for a child to view a lady receiving a beatdown by two huge guys. She was pounded with chairs, given finishing moves, and just overall destroyed by Austin and Triple H. If I were a parent, and I saw my, say, 10 year old watching this segment, I'd be shocked. It's this kind of stuff that fuels the Parents Television Council or PTC's cause. Especially when they see a *hint* of it on Smackdown, the show they mainly watch because they avoid Cable television. I just really hope that it's not the only way the WWF can get over Austin as a heel.

-I swear, I did NOT get an e-mail in support of the new Uncle Cracker theme song for X-Factor. I guess, apparently, that Uncle Cracker was given the previous X-Factor theme to "fine tune" it, or spice it up a bit. Sort of what they did with Triple H's original theme. Anyway, I guess the fine tuning didn't quite work here, as the theme, to me, sounds like a Country song at first. Not bashing Country, but X-Factor don't quite look like wrestlers who should come out to a Country like theme. Who knows... maybe Jim Johnston, the WWF theme music guy, can fine tune it better. It sure needs it.

-From the several reports I got from Boston fans in attendance from RAW, I could tell that this wasn't a pleasant show to watch live. Especially the replay of the Smackdown scene with Austin and Jim Ross really pissed off fans there. They had to sit through lots of long pauses and interviews, like no other, so it's very understandable. Also, the reports said that Steve Austin was still getting strong face pops, even for beating down Lita! Uh oh.

-Awwwww, no Shawn Michaels on RAW. I remember seeing a few kiddie sites insisting that HBK would be at RAW, for 100% sure. Yeah, nice one again fellas. Spreading such rumors like that will only kill certain fans' expectations. Sure, LoP reported it, but we never guaranteed he'd be at RAW, for others did. Anyway, it's very doubtful that Shawn Michaels will return anytime soon to the WWF. Some idiots are saying that HBK was under the influence when he arrived at Smackdown, but I totally doubt that's the case. My thinking is that he just wasn't willing to do something, or he had too high demands on a certain segment. Michaels used to rule the WWF backstage with an arrogant attitude, and I believe that some signs were coming back, thus the WWF just didn't want to use him on Smackdown, so he walked out.

-Tajiri is under WWF contract, for those who mark out for him like me, and it's unknown when he'll arrive in the WWF. I've heard some talk of maybe putting him in the WWF-owned WCW, which would seem logical with a rough Cruiserweight division. However, he could be a part of Kaientai, like the rumors are saying. I don't really care actually. I just want to see the Japanese Buzzsaw on TV, and that's it. Just watching his every movement is entertainment enough, and it's even better when he just punishes opponents. Other rumors are saying that Super Crazy may join the WWF-owned WCW, which could indicate where Tajiri would go.

-Speaking of WCW, it looks like they will be taping on June 13th, which means the very first WCW show on TNN will be on June 16th at 11 pm. Man, I can't wait for this show. I understand that it's not an alternative to the WWF anymore, since the WWF commands it, but the opportunities for some of the wrestlers to outshine what the Time Warner WCW had them do will be incredible. The Cruiserweights and Midcard wrestlers have incredible amounts of potential, and you can mix that in with many possible ECW talents joining the fray. The only way this could be ruined is if the WWF shoves a waste, like Billy Gunn, down there and makes them dominate. That would just suck on many levels.

-Vince Russo now has a commentary on VinceRusso.org, if you really care to read it. By the way, there used to be an entertaining site with the address of VinceRusso.com, but it sadly disappeared. Anyway, in his latest commentary, Russo said he talked to those in charge of WOW, which is currently on hiatus until it relaunches later on (Fall I believe?). Oddly enough, this COULD be a good role for Russo, especially since he'll have a lot of Women to book. I believe that Russo loves to play out his SICK and DISTURBING fantasies, with women, in his storylines, as WCW showed us. If Russo joins WOW, and shows just a little bit of success, he'll probably use that to explain why he was the ONLY person responsible for the WWF's success in 1998-1999.

-It's rather funny that Bill Alfonzo takes time out of his probably busy schedule to make TWO special trips to be backstage at WWF events. Both RAWs he's attended, recently, were of far distances, which only means that himself or Heyman are pushing for Fonzy in the WWF. I'm sure some ECW marks will say "Oh, put him with Tazz! That will get him over!". Or better yet, I'm sure some of them will insist that Rob Van Dam will follow him right into the WWF. Yeah right... dream on for both. I believe Fonzy would be a good manager in the WWF, for the whistle would be enough to piss off WWF fans.

But let's get some things straight about Rob Van Dam, and why he won't get signed by the WWF:

1) Bad rub on WWF officials in 1997: Just a little history here. The WWF did an ECW invasion angle, in which Rob Van Dam was given to the WWF on loan. Backstage, Rob Van Dam was said to have an extremely cocky attitude, which was what Vince McMahon didn't want in his lockerroom at the time, especially since he had Shawn Michaels already, among others. Rob Van Dam only lasted a few weeks in the WWF in 1997 due to his attitude.

2) His Open Drug Use: Say you were an employer.... if you had an applicant who openly told you that he smoked weed at an interview, or if you saw him flaunting it, would you hire him? Of course not! Rob Van Dam is very open about his 420 ways, and in fact has bragged about it in High Times magazine. Now I'm NOT bashing anyone who smokes pot here, but you just don't hire or acquire someone who let's you know about his drug use. At least with Road Dogg, he didn't brag about what he was smoking, which kept his WWF tenure up.

3) Salary Demands: I've seen several news places insist about this rumor, with RVD and his webmaster making total denials about the newsbyte. Well, there must be something up with the WWF to show absolutely no interest, even with #1 and #2 factored in.

So it's safe to say that you'll never see Rob Van Dam in any WWF owned promotion. I suggest that he begin working for XPW, where his style would be really appreciated, unless I don't know of heat there.

-As for ECW... I keep seeing bankruptcy notes flying around. Well, there's nothing that I can add, but the WWF should pay off the $6 -$9 Million debt, or whatever, that is owed. Yeah, that's a lot of money to us, but a "flash in the pan" to the billionaire, Vince McMahon. It's worth it to acquire the video libraries of ECW, because the videos, believe it or not, do sell in incredible volumes. Also, it could show that Vince OWNS Paul Heyman, if he doesn't already. Oh yeah, the 24-7 wrestling channel idea would be even better with WWF, WCW, and ECW material. You could run a station, alone, with that great material.

-Finally, a couple of you "reporters" need to start spelling Konnan's name correctly. It's NOT "Konan", it's KONNAN. Thank you, and good day.

NEWS ORGY: CBS is pissed off about FOX's "Boot Camp", George W. Bush letter to China, and MUCH MORE! So Click Here to join the Orgy!

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@That's all for today kiddies. Be sure to check out the Phat Pharm to find out how you could get hired. See you tomorrow with more apples, even if they are rotten!

Phat Pharm: REOPENED!

Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

Mr. Tito 1998 - 2001 Exclusive to LordsofPain.net


Nothing worthy about XFL to report. Darn...